Home > Lessons for the Modern Man > Men Learning to Nurture

Men Learning to Nurture

It was a fine weekend. We got Rosemary off to LA safely where she is busy with a business coaching intensive. Meanwhile I stayed home to take care of business! I got to play with numbers from 2009, getting ready for tax time! What a joy…I finally gave up on QuickBooks after getting myself into trouble and turned it all over to our book-keeper this afternoon! Phew, that’s a load off!

We had a very nice Sundays at The Center Celebration yesterday with a great turn-out. It must have been the spring-like weather here in Colorado Springs; people seemed to be out everywhere! While Rosemary is away our friend and colleague, Finbarr Ross, offered the message and meditation at our Celebration. And his words were thoughtful and meaningful! One of his concepts especially stayed with me and I’m still giving it thought.

He began with “we are in the time of the woman.” I definitely subscribe to that; this is exactly what is motivating this blog! We are moving through a time of feminine energy ascendancy to begin to right the balance we are so desperate for now. He concluded that women need to show men the nurturing way. And this is the thought I continue to work with today.

I agree that men need to move toward a more nurturing approach to life. What I’m struggling with is placing the burden of showing men how to nurture on women. Is it their job to teach us this kinder, gentler way of life? As children we were all nurtured in some form by our parents, guardians, some of whom were likely women; many of the fortunate among us were nurtured by loving mothers. And as boys we had friendships with girls in school, teachers, aunts and girl cousins. Did we not learn anything from these associations, many of them loving?

Yet, we were not taught to be nurturing; there was no curriculum, no catechism of stories and myths of men nurturing and caring for others. Quite the opposite. So, while we may have seen many wonderful examples of nurturing, we were not encouraged to emulate those models.

But what can women do now to change this? If men are not taught and men have no motivation to become nurturing creatures, is there something to be done? At the close of yesterday’s Celebration we listened to a lovely piece of music by Catherine Wilson on her album, Seeds of Light; the song: The Answer Lies Within. I believe the answer to how men may become more nurturing lies within the hearts of men themselves. Yes, women can show the way, they can encourage us toward a gentler path, they can demonstrate compassion, they can lead by modeling. Men need to look inside, we need to search for better answers, and as the song goes: “The answer lies within, my friend.”

I have been fortunate through much of my adult life to look within. It was years ago I learned that in my astrology chart my North Node of the Moon is in the sign of Cancer. I don’t want to get technical here, but the North Node points to growth and potential; it points to your lessons. Now it happens that Rosemary is a double Cancer; both her ascendant and moon are in Cancer. Do you think it is coincidental that we have been together for nearly 30 years? And I sure hope I’m learning some of those lessons! Cancer is the sign of caring, of homemaking, of, yes, nurturing! Is it Rosemary’s job to teach me how to be a Cancer? No, it’s my job to learn how.

I have another pointer to my case. Rosemary and I are students of the Enneagram, a model of personality types (I’ve seen it labeled as a psychospiritual typology). Again, I don’t want to get technical here, but I am a type 1, “the perfectionist” – I like everything to work or I will try to fix it so it does work. Rosemary is a type 2, “the helper” – she sees people in need and wants to “nurture” them! Once again my lessons are in my face!

But it’s up to me to see them, to learn them. My nurturing self is inside of me. And with all the modeling, teaching, way-showing in the world at my disposal it is still up to me to find that nurturer with myself.

That nurture is the Divine Feminine energy working within me. Can you find it within yourself?

  1. March 8, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    Today is International Women’s Day! We celebrated this during our Sundays at The Center gathering yesterday; and I neglected to mention it in my post just now.

    A FaceBook friend who is in Italy said the Women of Italy had the day off today to celebrate. That’s awesome!

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