What Are You Hiding?

In her Ezine and blog posts this week Rosemary asked: “How Are You Hiding?” I responded to this question here in my post yesterday with a “true confession” about “how” I’ve been hiding.

Then I watched Rosemary’s video again (Link). I remembered she also asked “What Are You Hiding?” Answering this question may be even more revealing than answering the first!

I was leafing through a book we recently picked up through a book and CD trade event: Awakening to the Sacred by Lama Surya Das. I was drawn to the first chapter in Part Three of this book “Dzogchen and Natural Meditation.” (The title of Part Three is Coming Home to Your True Nature.) And I read this:

What would it feel like if you could stop pretending to yourself or anyone else? Wouldn’t it be great if you were able to give yourself unconditional acceptance and permission to be the person you really are? Think about the bliss of being at one with things just as they are. Think about the bliss of just being.

Yes, this feels right. This is what it means to come “home to your True Nature.” It is my True Nature I have been hiding these past years.

Have you ever been in touch with your True Nature? I have. I have had those peak moments over the course of my life that let me know who I really am. It is like the Universe steps in to remind me of who and what I am. I pay attention to these moments but then the moment slips by and life intervenes and the next interruption in the True Flow of moment to moment derails me. Here’s a recent example of what I mean:

The other day I had a good Five-Element Form Qigong practice followed by a yoga routine I follow. After yoga I sat on my cushion for a bit, gathered myself, took some deep breaths and my TM mantra popped into my mind. I settled in and went quickly deep riding the inner, silent vibration of the mantra, that single seed syllable I’ve carried with me for years. It was like meeting an old friend and catching up.

And as I came back up from trance my mind settled on that mantra and when it was given to me through initiation. It was in the early summer of 1969. I was between my second and third year of Peace Corps service on my way home from Ethiopia via Germany. I spent some time with a German volunteer friend in Klais. And there her friends were just returning from India where they had been initiated by Maharishi. And they initiated me! It changed my life forever and that first meditation with my new mantra was likely the first time I met my True Self and my True Nature.

As I sat on my cushion these few days ago recalling this moment in 1969, the tears welled up and chills ran through my body. And again I caught a glimpse of my True Nature. Yes, this is what it’s like when I’m not pretending, not hiding; this is the bliss of “just” being.

And the real “trick”, the real movement toward “home to my True Nature” is to hold that reality moment to moment through all moments. And this is where practice comes in; and why practice is all it will ever be!

Are you hiding your True Nature? Think about the times you too have experience your authentic self!


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