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You Are Not Your Stories – Richard’s Commentary
Here’s the core of Rosemary’s Exploration posted yesterday:
It is so easy to ‘story ourselves’ into our victimhood and we hide behind our stories until it becomes difficult to find the real person behind the mask of story.
I love this little phrase: “story ourselves into victimhood.” And sometimes the stories are not even our own, but our parents’ stories or even multi-generational stories passed along through time.
An example of this is my parents’ stories from the era of the Great Depression. My Dad had to quit school after the 8th grade to go to work to help support the family. My Mom tells of a Christmas when she got an orange in her stocking as her only gift! Those times were tough, no doubt! And, for Mom they created a deep sense of insecurity around money and a sense of fear around not having enough. Yet, growing up on a Wisconsin dairy farm we always had enough.
My mother’s sense of “lack” has been passed along in my unconscious mind and I continue to work with this story. I have always had enough – enough to eat, comfortable shelter, great jobs, a fabulous family – everything a guy could ever want. But there is a little voice in the back of my mind that still says things like: “we can’t afford that”, or “maybe someday when…”
As I look back I have been blessed, taken care of, never experiencing the “poverty” my mother spoke of and carried forward in her stories. But a small piece of her story is alive in me. I am not that story and I work on moving it out of my life, catching myself in the feeling of lack, remembering I am not lacking in anything and sensing a deep trust that I will always be taken care of.
Rosemary adds: The only reason to tell a story is to show how you’ve grown beyond it so that you can help someone else experience the same growth. I can safely tell my “money story” because I have grown beyond it. And I continue to grow beyond it!
We are in California now visiting our newest grandson, Tristan. A few days before leaving I checked our financial accounts and mentioned to Rosemary we would have to be mindful of the budget on the trip. Within two days she booked a client for a year-long program, paid in full! Trust is always preferable to any sense of lack! The reminders just keep coming.
It’s OK to remember the stories, just don’t get stuck in them. Remember the lessons and move on.
And enjoy the New Moon, Wednesday, 2:14 am EDT.
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: You Are Not Your Stories
How many times have you heard yourself repeating a story about something that happened to you, or that you learned about yourself as a child, or that some parent or teacher convinced you was true and, yet, inside, there was a niggling doubt that that story is still true about you today?
Or maybe you keep telling that story without even realizing that it belongs to the past and no longer holds any truth for the you who is showing up in your life today?
It is so easy to ‘story ourselves’ into our victimhood and we hide behind our stories until it becomes difficult to find the real person behind the mask of story.
Years ago (okay, decades ago) I sold cosmetics at home parties part time (yes, your guess is right about which one!) and I had a woman attend her neighbor’s party to try out the new cosmetics. She came in wearing orangey makeup over deep pockmarks and sat at the table with the others to follow the program, removing her makeup and trying on what I was offering. After hearing her friends around the table exclaim over her new look and how great she looked, she requested some additional cleanser, got out her bag and reapplied her orangey stuff before she walked out the door to cross the street to her home.
The hostess was embarrassed and apologetic but I assured her that it was okay with me. Each of us needs to feel comfortable about the way we show up in the world. This woman needed that mask before she could even walk across the street to go home. She ignored her friends compliments and went behind the familiar mask, even though the new cosmetics were more flattering.
How easy it is to wear what’s familiar, even if it’s not the best for us? We sometimes find comfort in the familiar when it is painful just because we don’t want to move into new energy.
What is your security blanket? What mask do you wear that keeps you hiding from your beautiful real self because it is familiar and comfortable, even if your real self is more beautiful?
Uncovering the real self behind the mask is the work of personal growth. The transformations can be amazing! And it means letting go of the old masks, the old stories that we hide behind before we can shine the light of our real self out into the world.
I have a problem with some of the support groups out there that have you staying the victim of your story by repeating it over and over again. Your story is A story. It does not define WHO YOU REALLY ARE. The only reason to tell a story is to show how you’ve grown beyond it so that you can help someone else experience the same growth.
Listen to yourself and your chatter. Notice that your stories might be repeatedly keeping you the victim instead of being stories of empowerment. Notice that you might be hiding your inner light behind a mask that you can shed now.
You are not your stories. Let the light of the real you shine into the world without a mask!
ROSEMARY’S INSPIRATION: Be Your Real Self!
Rosemary’s “Two-Minute” Video for this Week: Be Your Real Self!
MONDAY’S POEM: Old Grandmother
The Moon is old; can you feel it? Go inside and get in touch with her, with your own feelings. Experience her. I wrote today’s poem just a day or two ago as we are approaching the new Moon (Wednesday, September 24 at 2:14 AM EDT); approaching the new Moon means experiencing the old Moon. Also we are just moving into equinox which means we are moving into the Sun sign of Libra – balance in light and dark, balance in Libra. Find your balance.
Old Grandmother
Grandmother Moon
is whispering, sinking
fast into Sun’s arms!
Let go.
Release negativity.
Forgive.
Allow others
their space and lessons.
Let their lessons reflect
back to your own.
Find patience.
Breathe into the space
of expanding light.
Add gratitude.
Fill the releasing heart
with thanksgiving.
Embrace beauty.
It is all beautiful;
Sun and Moon together!
©2014 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
FRIDAY’S POEM FROM “RHYTHMS AND CYCLES” – The Chamber of Time
One of my favorite teachers, Martín Prechtel, is a master of languages, among many things. He teaches that the Tzutujil Mayan language has no verb form of “to be.” This makes it very interesting to speak of the past or future; in fact the Mayan peoples don’t seem to mind this “missing” grammatical component and are quite happy living in the present! Would Western civilization be a bit more content if we stopped using “to be.”
Imagine the possibilities!
With this in mind I riffed off one of Martín’s teachings about living in the middle of time for today’s poem:
The Chamber of Time
What if reality is nothing more
than a huge echo chamber?
Time in this reality is nothing more
than an echo returning.
The Holy, Goddesses, Gods
are nothing more than our
reflection in this chamber.
And we, nothing more than theirs.
To be sure the rhythms, ebb
and flow, dynamic play of
Light and Shadow in this
Hologram are a multidimensional mix.
The chaotic complexity settles
into karmic patterns, polyphonic,
kaleidoscopic interplay of
a multivalence array, to be sure.
And the echoes, like the breath of the
Holy, like our own rhythms,
beats, breaths, reverberate
Through this panoply of reality in time.
©2014 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
Exploring the Field of All Possibilities – Richard’s Commentary
Rosemary’s exploration this week is a great lead-in to her Possibilities Playshop scheduled for this Saturday. It is not only the Playshop but the Playbook, the product of the Playshop, that is an amazing tool to help with “exploring the field of all possibilities.” Let me explain:
During Rosemary’s Playshop we play at several activities designed specifically to get us out of our heads, out of the problem space, so we can move into the field of possibilities where solutions lie. And one of the first steps is to clear the way to get there, clear the limiting beliefs that tend to hold us in “tunnel vision.”
Here’s how Rosemary describes the “problem”:
This is the way that we can hold ourselves back from showing our greatness to the world. Tunnel vision is the very block that prevents us from seeing the possibilities that are in front of us because our focus is so narrowed. And we feel as if there is no roadmap out of our situation.
We do this clearing, opening up beyond the tunnel vision, through visualizations. This is necessary to begin to believe that there may actually BE a “roadmap” to the field.
Once we clear the old beliefs, a process to re-vision the problems and re-create a new vision forward, we are then in a great space to create the roadmap. And this is no ordinary roadmap, but one created and guided by our intuition. This is where the “play” begins in earnest.
Briefly, we pull pictures and words from old magazines, images and phrases that appeal to us. We do this fast without much thought about why they appeal. This is somewhat similar to creating vision boards (have you ever done one of those?) but with less intention, suspending the rational left-brain activity and relying on our child-like unconscious minds to direct the play.
Pictures are put in an envelope, words in another; pictures can even be sorted by size and put in different envelopes. Then the “roadmap” or Playbook is created by pulling pictures and words blindly from the envelopes for each of the months going forward. We actually align our calendars with the phases of the moon to bring an even deeper intuitive, feminine connection to the Playbook.
The resulting Playbook is an intuitively created “solution space” to use as a guide for the months/year ahead. The pictures and words can be interpreted as the moon cycles through her phases. I frequently consult my Playbook for a number of reasons, including when I am stuck or catch myself in tunnel vision.
I use my Playbook as a journal to record events. It is always curious to review the pictures and words I chose months ago to see how they inform my current situation. I also record my I Ching Gua that I cast at each new moon; there is always an alignment with the reading and my Playbook entries for that moon!
The point here is not to “sell” you on the power of Rosemary’s Possibilities Playshop event but to suggest there are tools you can use to move easily, even with a lot of fun, from tunnel vision around a problem to a new vision of expanded possibilities where solutions live. Inner work, access to our intuitive powers, even play serves to offer a way forward!
And remember, problems are lessons waiting to be learned in the field of all possibilities!
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Exploring the Field of All Possibilities
When we feel stuck in our progress, whether it be on a specific project or task or we are stuck in a bigger way, not knowing our purpose in life or not knowing how to shift or eliminate a particular situation or relationship, we tend to drop into a sort of tunnel vision about it.
Have you ever found yourself thinking only of your problem? Nothing else seems to get onto your radar screen. Solutions seem ‘out of sight’ and, maybe, not even available at all. There’s nothing beyond what you can see.
This is the way that we can hold ourselves back from showing our greatness to the world. Tunnel vision is the very block that prevents us from seeing the possibilities that are in front of us because our focus is so narrowed. And we feel as if there is no roadmap out of our situation.
We often get stuck in tunnel vision because our belief structure, at the unconscious level, restricts us from moving into the exploratory experience of curiosity about what else might be possible. We know what our problems are and we keep looking at them as if they will suddenly jump up and tell us how to solve them. If only that were true!
What we must learn to do instead is to seek the solutions beyond the point where the problem lies.
When I worked on the Hubble Space Telescope some of the astronomers decided to point the telescope at dark places in the sky that looked empty when viewed through earth-based telescopes. No one knew if there would be anything there since nothing had ever been seen in that particular area before.
What emerged were huge fields of never-before-seen stars and galaxies! What had looked empty for all the years of humans looking at the sky from Earth were now filled with exciting stars and galaxies and other celestial presences. How exciting it was!
Where is the parallel to this in your life? What have you been looking at through your ‘old eyes,’ that is, through the lens of your old beliefs? Do you wonder if there is anything that you haven’t seen yet? Do you hope that there IS something there?
This is the pursuit of solutions that can lead you to exploring the field of all possibilities. When you tie yourself to what is known already, you limit your own field of view to see just what you expect to see. When, however, you open yourself, with curiosity, to whatever might be waiting for you, ALL possibilities can reveal themselves to you!
Examine the beliefs, those inner decisions that reside at the unconscious level, that might be holding you hostage and limiting you to tunnel vision. Discard and clear those limiting beliefs.
Then turn yourself toward an exploration of what might be there, waiting just beyond what you can see. There are always possibilities beyond the one you see with tunnel vision.
How exciting this exploration can be!
ROSEMARY’S INSPIRATION: The Possibilities Playshop is Saturday; Let’s Play!
Rosemary’s “Two-Minute” Video for this Week: The Possibilities Playshop is Saturday; Let’s Play!
PS: As a personal note I have been using my Playbook I created during Rosemary’s January Playshop every new moon, full moon and in-between. It is a great way for this male to get in touch with my feminine side and my intuitive powers.
Here’s the link for more information and registration: Playshop
MONDAY’S POEM: Breaking Free
The theme of the week is “possibilities.” This is the week of Rosemary’s Possibilities Playshop scheduled for Saturday, September 20, 2014. To pursue possibilities requires change. Change requires breaks. I wrote today’s poem almost 5 years ago but it seems to pertain well to the theme of the week!
Breaking Free
Who of us knows
how to break free
with grace, with ease,
with a light heart?
Break; the very word
has a jolt to it.
There’s a stopping to brake,
but an ending to break.
Yet, there’s an essential
to breaking which can’t
be ignored. Without it
there is nothing new, nothing free.
Every movement requires a break.
Every freedom requires an ending.
There is a grace to the slow dance
And a leap of heart in the advance.
©2014 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
PS: If you are in the Annapolis, Maryland area join us for the Possibilities Playshop!
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: 5 Steps to the First Step
Have you ever felt ready to step out, to move toward a vision, a dream, a goal and been paralyzed or unable to move forward?
We all have, at some point. We can see where we want to go. We can feel what it will feel like to be there. We can almost taste that space. And, for some reason, we are stuck. We can’t seem to put one foot in front of the other and move.
What does it take to get to that destination?
It takes the First Step.
Once you have taken that First Step, the second, third and fourth are much easier to take. And they seem to be evident, with a lot less confusion or trepidation, than the first one.
But what will keep you from taking that First Step? A lot of things. Fear. Doubt. A sense of unworthiness. Confusion about what the First Step is. A Concern that you don’t have the entire route mapped out and you don’t want to take the First Step until you know for certain what every subsequent step looks like. A lack of confidence in yourself. A lack of commitment to actually moving toward that dream.
So what can you do when you are stuck in the Paralysis of Step Zero?
Here are the 5 Steps to the First Step:
- Breathe. Now this might seem a simplistic approach but this really is the first action to take in any process. Take a deep breath. Repeat. This sets the stage for the rest of the process.
- Connect to Your Vision. Get the dream/vision/goal into clear focus in your mind’s eye. Feel it. Sense it. See it. Taste it. Make it real to your unconscious mind
- Clear the Blocks. Identify what is or has been holding you back. What beliefs are in the way? What negative self-talk are you putting in your mind that convinces you to stay stuck? This is a very important step! Get help with this because you can be blind to your blocks.
- Commit to Forward Motion. All the dreams in your head will remain there unless you make an honest and whole-hearted commitment to moving forward. Do you really want that dream or vision? HOW MUCH do you want it? Enough to commit yourself and your energy and your time to it? If you can’t commit, then go back to Step 1 and Breathe before revisiting Step 2 to decide if you need to tweak that Vision.
- Connect with Your Intuition, Your Inner Guidance and Ask for the First Step to be Unveiled to You. Ask only for the First Step! If you try to control the whole journey your Controller takes over. You really want the curious Explorer within you to take the First Step!
Then, step out in innocence and trust.
The First Step will reveal the Second which will reveal the Third. If you can’t see where to step next, then pause and Breathe. Repeat Steps 1 through 5 for the Next Step.
You can do this!
Men and The Goddess 