Archive
Forgiveness
This is a powerful word, overloaded with layers of context from religious backgrounds, moral code, all the “shoulds” in our lives. But what does it really mean to forgive?
Here again understanding begins with inner work, the inner examination of what this word means and how it applies to us, to me. Is this something that comes to us from others who have wronged us in some way? How do we recognize it? Is it an apology? And how do we react to it? Do we shrug it off as if it didn’t happen; go on as if it didn’t?
And how do we react when we are in the wrong? What form do we want forgiveness to take when we’ve hurt someone but hope they will forgive us?
I think the only way to understand forgiveness is to see how it applies to ourselves.
A couple of days ago I dropped my favorite fountain pen. I reacted with shock, dismay and anger that this pen was ruined. This was, of course, an accident: I fumbled with papers and a notebook trying to take notes during a coaching call. I was clumsy and inattentive. The pen fell, point down of course, on the tile floor. How do I forgive myself for this negligence? I go inside to examine the feelings: heartbreak, yes, but over an object? It is repairable. Let the object go. Anger, yes, both self and outer-directed. Is it the floor’s fault? Do I blame gravity? My lack of an appropriate work-area? My clumsiness? Why do I need to find fault at all? Accidents happen. As I look back at the event today it is an opportunity to examine and apply forgiveness – self-forgiveness.
I can learn about forgiveness here by going inward, self-ward. Forgiveness here is not to dismiss the event. It happened, I am still upset by it and there are consequences to deal with. But to hold on to blame or anger seems unproductive. Holding on to the lesson seems the better approach. I can also respond with action to help prevent accidents of this type in the future: I can improve my work environment and place more attention on protecting my valuable pens. Action and awareness help assuage the hurt from the loss. But ultimately I have to return to the illusive notion of forgiveness. This thing happened; it can’t be undone and should not be forgotten. But I take the lesson and come back to the mantra: “I am always doing my best and I am continually learning and improving.” This is the rock-bottom message here. This is self-forgiveness.
We can then take this into the outer world, the world populated by others! We are all doing our best; even those who might hurt us in some way are doing their best! We may wish they were doing better! But they are where they are. We don’t have to forget the injury or pretend it didn’t happen. We do have to take some action, to let them know of the hurt caused and to learn for ourselves what there is to take from the incident so it doesn’t happen again. And, this action may be to avoid this person or situation in the future. We remember the lesson and move on, doing our best and giving them space to do their best.
Forgiveness. Somehow there is a seed of Peace here, buried in this too often misunderstood approach to relationships. Maybe we need to practice forgiveness in order to wage Peace.
Love
A couple of days ago I wrote about Peace and my charge to be a “Warrior of Peace.” I wrote that there is only one place to begin the quest for that peace, which must be known so intimately well that it is like our own skin if we are to be true defenders of Peace, and that’s inside – the first step of the quest is inward!
And what do we find when we go inward? I am reminded not only that today is Valentine’s Day but also that Rosemary’s daily video message today (you can get it here: TheScientificMystic.com) is about Love; and not just any kind of love, romantic love for example, but Self-Love! When you go inside do you find there that sense of love, especially self-love?
If we have no sense of how to love ourselves then how can we love others? If our mantra is “Everyone is doing their best” then doesn’t that apply to ourselves first? Love, forgiveness, peace—they all begin with oneself!
We are each a unique expression of humanity with a unique soul, purpose, mission, destiny. We have to be here and be us to make everything work in some incredibly complicated, interdependent way. The Universe created us to be here now. That is a lot to love about ourselves! Without us the world would be incomplete, imperfect.
There is both grand praise and deep grief in this self-loving. The grief comes from the immense responsibility we fall so short from standing up to. But if we are doing our best at all times then forgiveness finds a home in our consciousness if we let it in.
I am reminded here of a deep thought given to me by Martín Prechtel, one of my most honored and revered teachers (his most recent book published this January, expands on this concept much more eloquently than I could ever attempt. See it at: The Unlikely Peace of Cuchumaquic). We are all mutually and forever indebted for our life. Think for a moment of all you have that you are indebted for. And I’m not talking about “stuff” or bank-debt here. I’m talking about the deeper elements of life without which we could not live. How can we ever pay back the plants for the nourishment they provide and the air they produce for us to breathe? But we do our best and we offer all we have to pay the debt knowing all along that we can never make it; we can never pay it all back. The toll it takes from everything, everyone, especially Mother Earth to allow a human to grow, survive, thrive is just too great.
Knowing we can never repay is a source of both grief and praise at the same time (these feelings are really two sides of one emotion!). We grieve our indebtedness and still celebrate our lives as worth something, worth living, worth fulfilling our purpose. If we can’t celebrate life then there can be no meaning to any of it! We need to celebrate the perfection of our lives as token repayment, an honoring of the Mother for giving us this life in the first place! As Martín might put it: we feed (honor) the Holy (God/Goddess in all things) by celebrating our lives; and in turn the Holy feed us!
And out of this grief and praise comes Love! The Mother loves us into existence at great sacrifice. We are all born of love. And this is our first debt. We need to repay this love in kind. And this is where self-love really is important. It is not only the source of knowing how to love, it is partial payment for our very existence—the love that created us!
Peace, joy, fulfillment all spring from Love of Self! Celebrate this!
Peace
What does this word mean? It is too easy to define it as its negative: “the absence of war.” But if we don’t use what we think of as this word’s opposite, how do we define it, describe the essence or the quality that is associated with this word?
I recently had the privilege of participating with my wife, Rosemary, as she channeled “The Divine Feminine” for several of us. When it came to be my turn she offered a message from an Archangel she saw standing with me. And here, paraphrased, is the heart of the message from that Archangel:
The Archangel showed her a sword and said through her to me:
“There is a battle raging; you must pick up this sword and fight for peace. You must find your warrior strength and fight. You must find your inner warrior, your power, your strength to stand in truth for peace. There is no peace possible from firing a gun.
“Peace is not a weak, airy, gentle thing. It is strong, with a quality of balance, surety, confidence. Your message is about the warrior who can stand for peace. There is a vibration of peace that you can sense. This comes from inner peace, a knowing that this is true.
“You are the Messenger of the Warrior of Peace. Be peace in the world. Hold this energy for others, especially men. Men seem only to know fighting. Fighting, killing, destruction is not a path to peace. Don’t confuse warrior with war. Peace is not the absence of killing but a vibration, the Vibration of Peace.
“Write about this in poetry, an article; write about the strength of the Warrior of Peace. This is your mantle, your charge. Explore and expose the Warrior of Peace, what that means. Invite others to explore their inner Warrior of Peace.”
This is the essence of the message. After she channeled it for me, Rosemary asked if I had any questions! I could barely catch my breath to say: “How, after that, could I ask for more?”
And so I begin to fulfill my “charge” to explore and expose this archetype, The Warrior of Peace. I could go in so many directions with this but the only direction to begin is inward.
The inner exploration is vital to anything we attempt in the outer world! One of my practices for inner work is to write “morning pages” – three hand-written pages much in the way recommended by Julia Cameron in her book “The Artist’s Way”. While thinking, questioning and writing about my message from Rosemary this came to me during my inner quest:
“Peace. It starts within. We all need to find an inner peace and this begins with practice. Practice Inner Peace. This is not unlike my primary value: Practice–>Love! Inner peace begins with self-love. If we all loved ourselves would there be war in the world? If we were all complete and trusted in the abundance and reflected love in the Universe would there be war? If we simply accepted ourselves and our purpose in the world would there be a need for war? Would there even be any motivation for war? If we all accepted of ourselves and everyone else that we are all doing our best and pledge to do better would there be any war?
“Awareness–>Acceptance–>Action to learn and improve–>Integration. These are seeds of Peace.”
I have not defined Peace here. I have even fallen to the “no-war” level as a first attempt! But I have found a place to begin this quest! Every quest begins with a step.
Men and The Goddess 