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Conscious Relationships Start with Self-Love – Richard’s Commentary
Humans are social beings. It is all about relationships. Last week I wrote about our interdependence with others, what Thich Nhat Hahn calls “interbeing.” We are especially dependent on and interdependent with other humans. Here’s what Rosemary says about that:
Human beings are relationship experts. We are constantly adjusting relationships, in one direction or another. Relationships with significant others, with parents and with children, with co-workers, clients, neighbors, hairdressers, waitstaff at the local restaurant, checker at the grocery store. Every interaction with another human being is an element of a relationship.
And every relationship begins on the inside of ourselves. This is why it is so important to have that relationship in the first place! Do you have a good relationship with yourself?
In her post Rosemary writes about choices we have and we make moment to moment. The first choice is to have that inner relationship. How do you do that? It’s as easy as breathing! And we all need to do that!
The “conscious relationship with self” begins with conscious breathing. That’s right, bring your consciousness to your breathing pattern. Don’t try to change it or make an effort, just bring your attention to how your breath feels; think about the inhale; feel it as it comes in through your nose, down your throat, into your lungs. Where does it go there? Does it fill up your chest? Does it go down into your belly? Just notice. And on the exhale, how does that feel? What happens first? How much air do you exhale?
Shifting just our focus on our breath, with no change at all in rhythm or style, changes our body chemistry and our mental awareness! Imagine what might happen if you actually, consciously begin to control your breathing. Maybe your in-breath goes a bit deeper and is longer; maybe you hold it for just a moment as you sense it, notice the feeling of expansion. Then as you exhale maybe you do this more slowly, deliberately. And maybe you expel more air, even flattening your belly, back towards your spine as you push out more air – to make room for a bigger in-breath.
And you can continue in this manner, watching your breath, taking longer, deeper, slower breaths. This is the beginning of a relationship with yourself, your deeper self.
I’m not writing here to teach meditation. But I am echoing Rosemary’s intention that your best relationship is with yourself, inside. Here’s what she says about you:
Who you are, deep in your core, is a beautiful being of Light. Who you are, inside, is a spark of divine energy. Who you are, in the essence of you, is a person of access to great wisdom and love. THIS is the person that you really want to show up in every relationship, isn’t it?
I would like to have a relationship with this being of Light – you! Wouldn’t you?
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Conscious Relationships Start with Self-Love
All Love flows from Self-Love.
I’ve shared this many times and will keep doing so until each of us is totally in love with our own divine Self!
The most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself. What is the measure of that relationship right now? Are you giving this relationship time, nurturing, attention, even money? Or are you putting off taking care of yourself while you care for others, or think that you cannot ‘afford’ to take care of yourself?
Human beings are relationship experts. We are constantly adjusting relationships, in one direction or another. Relationships with significant others, with parents and with children, with co-workers, clients, neighbors, hairdressers, waitstaff at the local restaurant, checker at the grocery store. Every interaction with another human being is an element of a relationship. If you are having a bad day, do you walk into the hardware store and act like the grumpy guy from down the street? When you have a bad day at work, do you come home and snap at the family?
When you have a great day, do you smile at the barista at Starbucks? Bring flowers home for the dinner table? Call a friend just to say ‘hi’?
You have choices. And every interaction with another human being involves a choice on your part about how you are showing up in that relationship.
Maybe you haven’t thought about how you treat the teller at the bank as a ‘relationship,’ but it is. It deserves care and tending. Your family members, too, deserve to have a relationship with you that comes from caring and love and it is your choice whether or not to offer nurturing in that relationship.
The first choice that you are called to make is to be true to your Self. Your relationship to your inner Self determines how you will relate to others. Do you struggle with a lack of self-love? Do you lash out at others instead of taking a breath and seeking guidance from your inner wisdom? Do you judge people without compassion about their circumstances, about which you might know nothing?
Who you are, deep in your core, is a beautiful being of Light. Who you are, inside, is a spark of divine energy. Who you are, in the essence of you, is a person of access to great wisdom and love. THIS is the person that you really want to show up in every relationship, isn’t it?
Take some time today to check in with yourself about your relationship with your Self. Tap into your own inner wisdom as you look around at the relationships in which you participate every day.
The word ‘namaste’ means ‘the Light in me honors the Light in you.’ Let your Light shine in every connection that you experience. Come from loving yourself, valuing that Light within, and sharing that Light with the outer world.
Conscious Relationships are the most rewarding. Start with a Conscious Relationship with your Self!
Connect! – Richard’s Commentary
We are all connected in so many ways. Do you ever consider just how connected we are? Thich Nhat Hahn speaks of this as interdependence. I heard him speak years ago about this concept of interconnectedness, not just with humans but with all things. It’s his way to begin to explain shunyata, or the Mahayana Buddhist philosophy of “emptiness.” We are interconnected with and interdependent on every atom and molecule on earth (and beyond)!
So as Rosemary writes:
Your life is all about connecting. You were born into a family or chosen by one. You have chosen friends and partners. You bore children or sired them. You have worked with people, paid some for services, gone to the doctor, bought groceries. Every thing you have done has contained an element of connection.
How deep does your “connecting” go?
All of these external, intricate interdependencies at the material, physical level are only a small (maybe miniscule) part of our connectedness. Rosemary urges another way to “Connect” – to the inner you:
When you connect with the inner you, you are tapping into your own power, your essence. When you have a strong connection to your inner wisdom, your guides, you gain clarity and confidence.
How vast is this connection for you? When you let your imagination run free how much ground does it cover, how many worlds do you visit?
Rosemary mentions many ways to connect to the inner you: meditation, contemplation, visualizations, writing. For those who don’t have a formal practice even daydreaming is a way to connect. Prayer is also an excellent way to connect and listen!
But how many of us resist this inner connection? How many even blot it out through various means of escape? Even in prayer it is easy to externalize the conversationmaking appeals to the Almighty out there somewhere in the Universe! Do we ever stop to listen, to keep this conversation bidirectional? When/if we do listen, where do we hear that voice?
Often people need help with this inner connection. For many indigenous peoples they relied on shamans as intercessors with the Spirit World. Western people rely on their priests and/or psychologists to facilitate the inner dialog. This is a wonderful way to begin the conversation. Sometimes we need translators to interpret the symbols. Sometimes we need validation that what we are hearing/feeling/seeing is true for us.
If you need help to jumpstart your inner connection, get it. The inner world is vast beyond belief. The inner connection, the inner dialog can take you on journeys beyond your wildest conscious imagination if you allow and listen. Your purpose calls you to this and your passion is waiting for you, just there, inside!
Have fun; have a great ride. And don’t worry about sending postcards!
Change. Evolve. Change. Evolve. – Richard’s Commentary
We are spiraling toward something…do we know what that something is? Do we have a choice?
Rosemary uses the digital age of recording advances; 1.0, 2.0…she claims:
Each of us is ever evolving into the next version of ourselves – Me 2.0, Me 3.0, etc. Are you making conscious choices about your own evolutionary process or are you reacting to what is happening around you and evolving unconsciously into the next you?
Sometimes I wonder if each of us is truly evolving. Or are some of our fellows content to have things remain just as they are; content with the status quo? Are you evolving consciously or are you content to maintain your position and standing in life? Can you maintain it without changing?
I spent a good part of this past weekend immersed in Integral Theory, as best articulated by Ken Wilber. The specific topic of this Integral Life conference was “The Fourth Turning.” This “Turning” refers to the evolution of Buddhism. To summarize the background, there have been three “turnings” of Buddhism, or evolutions of the movement: there are three current forms or “schools”, namely the Theravada School, the Mahayana School and the Vajrayana School. The first school, or turning, is closely associated with the Buddhism originated by Gautama Buddha about 2600 years ago. About 200 AD the Mahayana School evolved out of and included original Buddhism. And in the 8th Century AD Vajrayana evolved out of and included Mahayana Buddhism.
Integral Life is proposing it is time for a “fourth turning” – a next generation of Buddhism; think of this as a progression from Buddhism 1.0 (Theravada) to Buddhism 2.0 (Mahayana) to Buddhism 3.0 Vajrayana to Buddhism 4.0! (A name or “yana” for this 4.0 was not offered!)
Here is the main point and argument: there has not been a real evolution in religion (any version, any sect, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Judaism, Hinduism…) for at least a thousand years. Perhaps it is time for an advance in spirituality.
I am not writing here to support or deny the specifics of what I heard at the “Fourth Turning Conference.” The specifics while interesting are not my point. The point is to support Rosemary’s premise:
The important aspect of humanity’s interaction with change is that we must be conscious of the choices we are making to bring about change, in ourselves and in the world around us.
Ken Wilber and company are making a conscious effort to define a New Spirituality, to embrace scientific, sociological and psychological advancements and to expand Consciousness and celebrate Humanity. They chose Buddhism because it has demonstrated an ability to evolve over its 2600-year history. And it already offers a high degree of advanced spiritual technology on which to build.
They are making conscious choices; they are looking forward and embracing the past; they are leveraging the advances in all areas of human technology to create a robust Spirituality to help carry humanity forward into its uncertain future.
I welcome and applaud this effort. Yes, we are spiraling toward something; and it can be of our choosing, if we choose to be involved!
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Change. Evolve. Change. Evolve.
Our evolutionary process is not a straight line from here to there. We live in a world of spiraling change.
You’ve probably heard that ‘Change is constant,’ or ‘Change is inevitable.’ These are both true. Everything changes around us. Why should we believe that we won’t change, or that there is something bad or dangerous about change?
The important aspect of humanity’s interaction with change is that we must be conscious of the choices we are making to bring about change, in ourselves and in the world around us.
The caterpillar must spin its cocoon so that it might change/evolve into the butterfly that it was always meant to become. There is a process. If the caterpillars stayed the same we would have no beautiful butterflies to enjoy.
Each of us is ever evolving into the next version of ourselves – Me 2.0, Me 3.0, etc. Are you making conscious choices about your own evolutionary process or are you reacting to what is happening around you and evolving unconsciously into the next you?
Here is something I know about you. Inside you there is a beautiful Light, what I call your ‘Inner Splendor.’ This Light of YOU is meant to shine into the world and make the world a better place. No arguments. This means YOU.
And that Light inside you can continue to grow and to glow even more brightly every day of this lifetime. Are you shining your Light?
Wherever you are today in your life – career, business, relationships, health, finances – you are evolving and changing. Whatever today’s situation is it is not the last word. There is change coming. You are always at choice about your response to whatever is going on around you.
So will you choose to change, to advance the evolution of human consciousness by making choices for more Light? That is the important criteria as you move into a period of great change in your life. Ask this, “Does this choice I am making bring more Light into the world through me?”
All that this evolution asks of you is that you be the real you, that you share that Inner Splendor with the world, that you live the Purpose for which you were born.
This is about BEing you, not about DOing something. Accepting change means you can BE who you were born to be and can continue to grow, to evolve, to become even more conscious.
Not everyone is willing to participate in this great evolutionary process. Some folks resist change, or want to go backward to the way things used to be.
As the Borg would say [for all you Trekkies out there] ‘Resistance is Futile.’
To stay stuck in the way things are requires a great outlay of energy. To flow with change allows all your energy to be devoted to making conscious choices about who you are evolving into, the next version of you.
For every change that happens in you, in your life, there is a leap in your evolutionary process. Then there comes another opportunity for growth, for change, and another leap in your process. You spiral ever upward in your personal growth. You contribute more Light into the world around you.
Accept change. Welcome it. You are evolving. You are your own personal Butterfly 2.0, 3.0, etc.!
Cycling – Richard’s Commentary
I find it interesting when Rosemary’s “explorations” line up nicely with mine. It was just a couple of weeks ago that I started publishing a “Friday Poem” from my collection I call “Rhythms and Cycles.” And here’s Rosemary’s post on “Cycling”!
But these aren’t really cycles, are they? In fact Rosemary’s second sentence in her post clarifies her meaning:
Life is a spiraling experience and, when we try to make it linear, going out in front of us in a straight line and looking behind us as if everything happened in a straight line, we diminish the importance of the cycles that we have experienced.
“Life is a spiraling experience.” There is a vector to all of this; it may not be linear but it is clearly going somewhere! At least I think it is despite some of the ridiculous efforts to spiral us backwards!
Rosemary and I took in the Annapolis Film Festival this past weekend. We saw several very fine films and very much enjoyed immersing ourselves in the film industry for a few days. One of the splendid films we saw was “Particle Fever”, a documentary about the building of and science behind the Large Hadron Collider, the largest machine and experiment ever built. Speaking of cycles this machine can whirl protons at one another around a 17-mile circular tunnel at speeds approaching that of light! It’s an amazing accomplishment that the Collider is revealing structures of matter as it existed just after the Big Bang. Watching the film I got a real sense of innovation, progress, discovery and jubilation as humans push through the boundaries of knowledge.
Cycling, spiraling through time to know. Isn’t this what we are here for?
And yet, there are those who want to end science, deny the truths we discover, debate facts with lies when it suits their political goals and supports their financial backers. It is with this in mind, the contrast between those who are spending their lives in the search for truth and those who deny the very benefit of science and our discoveries, that I wrote the following as it pertains to cycles:
Time flows on and everyone floats toward another milestone, whether it’s another birthday, another accomplishment on some schedule, another dream, either achieved or let go. Every moment is a milestone, every breath another passage. And we all flow together in these momentous passages, not just of time and the markers we use, but in consciousness as we develop, in spite of ourselves, the next layers of awareness, micron by micron.
This is the reality, even for the doubters and the protestors. Whether “they” (we) believe in progress or not, whether we believe in science or not, whether we choose to remain in darkness or awaken to the dawning light of ever evolving realization, the inexorable march of time, the entropy of the Universe, the unstoppable building will continue! It cannot be legislated against, it cannot be denied by the most eloquent and articulate oration, it cannot be hidden, no matter how tightly we close our eyes, and minds, to it. The conscious mind is driven. There is a compulsion about this drive for knowledge and expanded consciousness that seems to be built in to our framework, the architecture. The human mind is wired to seek, to understand, to challenge the common and create the new, that next layer of understanding. Let the naysayers bray as loudly as they will. They will continue to make asses of themselves. Their noise will be temporary just as the latest theories, scientific or otherwise, are temporary way-points along the long non-ending journey toward Truth.
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Cycling
We sometimes forget that we are constantly within a cycle within another cycle within yet another one. Life is a spiraling experience and, when we try to make it linear, going out in front of us in a straight line and looking behind us as if everything happened in a straight line, we diminish the importance of the cycles that we have experienced.
Think about the seasons of every year of your life. How many Springs, Summers, Autumns, Winters have you lived through? Each season of the calendar year brings a different energy, a different feeling to your life that year.
In Spring, life around us starts to blossom and grow. There is a newness, a freshness, to the garden and the birds and the amount of Sun’s light that we receive. The trees start to spread leaves for us. Everything is in ‘growth mode.’ We, too, are invited to grow, to reach for the sky, to blossom, to try something new in the Springtime.
By Summer, the Sun is at it’s peak and the crops are producing bounty for us to receive. The seeds you planted in your life in Spring are coming to fruition and you can watch your efforts grow.
Autumn brings the harvest, a time to reap what you have sown. Prepare for winter. Finish up projects. Gather what you need and bring it inside.
Winter brings, not only colder weather, but also a time to hibernate, not slumbering deeply like the bears, but going inside, doing the inner work, contemplating, planning, examining life.
And then comes another Spring! Rebirth, revitalization, resurrection, coming alive again!
And so the cycle begins again. But this time you have learned more, grown more, shaped your life so that you are seeing from a new perspective, a little bit greater in consciousness and understanding than last year’s.
There are many other cycles in your life. Infant/Child/Teenager/Adult/Senior. Neophyte/Apprentice/Master.
You might think that each of these represents a linear progression, a straight line through the stages, but you can be an Adult in one setting and a Child in another. [Have you ever seen a grown man go home and become like the little boy he was growing up?] You can Master one thing and be a neophyte in another.
The Moon Cycles affect us greatly because we are mostly water and, just as the Moon affects the tides of Earth’s bodies of waters, so the waters in us are affected. Do you pay attention to where the Moon is in her cycle? Did you know that the New Moon is a great time to begin something new, to invite new things/ideas/projects/partners into your life? And the Full Moon is a time of releasing, of letting go of that which no longer serves you.
When you are conscious of cycles like these in your life, you can work with the energies of the cycles to support and assist you as you grow.
What other cycles in your life can you think of? What would change if you became conscious of those cycles and planned how to use that energy instead of allowing yourself to be affected unconsciously?
If you live by the water you know that the tides will respond to the Moon, whether you are conscious or not! Decide today to live a Conscious Life and pay attention to the cycles you experience!
What’s Your Commitment Level? – Richard’s Commentary
Life Purpose; Commitment; the Universe is waiting. And:
I can assure you that no one’s Life Purpose is to play small in the world. Remember that there are a lot of other souls waiting for you to show up to play your part.
This is heavy stuff; a challenge! Am I ready? Am I already living my purpose? How can I know, for sure?
A number of years ago I did a values assessment exercise. I listed out my top five or so values, the usual. And I wrote my “morning pages” on each value across several days. I worked hard on this. Then I reflected on these values and I began to reduce them, to simplify them into a formula I could easily follow. The result is pretty simple:
Practice———>Love
A bit of time after I worked through this exercise, I learned about Scientific Hand Analysis. This approach, to determine things about ourselves from our finger and hand-prints is both fun and pretty amazing. Turns out my fingerprints are all of one kind, loops. And the simple meaning of this is my Life Purpose is Love! I also happen to be in the School of Love and my Lessons revolve around Love.
Now, this too seems pretty simple! (Believe me it’s not!). And it certainly aligns with my values nicely! But here’s the thing: that first word in my “simple” values statement is Practice! Oh, yeah. I’ve got to practice this! Every day, in every way.
And, following Rosemary’s reminder, I have to commit to this 100%. There’s no playing small here. There is no end either; no limits, no boundaries. No perfection!
But then just a day or so ago a poem came to me in an interesting context: on Sunday I had taken a day off, completely off, no practice, no schedule, no thinking, a real day of rest. Then as I reflected on this day off, I came back to my purpose, my values:
Practice———>Love
Values:
Two words,
A gesture.
A flow:
No striving
No stress
No cramming
No rush
No push
No list
No deadlines
No wish
No angst
No want
No grief
No fear
No anger
Only breath!
Rhythm
In time
With All.
©2014 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: What’s Your Commitment Level?
When you decided to incarnate into the Earth Plane you agreed that you would have a Purpose for this lifetime, a reason you were being born, a mission to complete. You met with your Soul Group, those other spirits who have been traveling with you lifetime after lifetime. You all agreed on the roles you would play in each other’s lives this time.
Even if you believe that you only have one lifetime, this is true.
So now you are in the middle of your life. Have you asked yourself if you are living your Purpose yet? Are you totally committed to doing so?
There is no reason to be afraid of living your Purpose but a lot of people are. They think it’s too big a role to play, or that they haven’t gotten the message straight about what they are to do. Some feel as if life has been a bit difficult and they are just trying to get through it.
Here are two truths that I can share with you:
1] You have a Purpose for your life! There is a reason you are here. Thank you for showing up for the rest of us.
2] The Universe is set up and waiting to support you in fulfilling that Purpose. Everything you need will be available to you when you need it.
The only question left is ‘How committed are you to fulfilling that Purpose?’
A half-hearted commitment will not get that done. You have 100% of you to give to your Purpose because it is not about DOing – it is about BEing the person you were born to BE.
When you make the decision to be wholly committee to BEing your Purpose, there is a relaxation that occurs, a sense that you can let down your guard and relax into being what your Soul has always known you are. It feels like a ‘coming home’ moment.
Are you ready to make that commitment?
Once you say ‘yes’ there are next steps.
Do you know what your Life Purpose is? Are you confident that you are on the track to fulfillment? Your Purpose is something that resonates at a very deep level inside you because it has been with you since before you were born. You will recognize it when you bring it forward into conscious awareness. It will feel RIGHT.
I have had clients start to cry with the resonance of hearing me say to them the words that describe their Life Purpose. They KNOW, inside, and may have been struggling to bring their life into alignment with that Purpose, or may have relationships that are not supportive of their pursuing that Purpose. But they know who they are here to be.
Have you had that moment yet in your life? Are you certain that you have identified your Life Purpose? If so, are you living it fully or is there something holding you back?
I can assure you that no one’s Life Purpose is to play small in the world. Remember that there are a lot of other souls waiting for you to show up to play your part.
The most important thing you can do is to COMMIT, wholeheartedly, to living your Purpose NOW. No matter how big it seems, or how afraid you feel, or what others are saying, this is the moment. Make the commitment.
And when your commitment is at 100%, watch the magic happen as everything you need becomes available to you.
Leap! – Richard’s Commentary
Somehow it doesn’t seem like we have leapt into Spring yet! We are at the day of the Equinox and there is still snow on the ground from our Monday storm. The temperatures are slowly rising. But then did I hear something about snow next week?! I don’t know about you but I am ready to leap!
Or am I? There is a higher, broader “leap” The Divine Feminine are asking us to take in their message Rosemary channeled. And it’s a challenge; here it is:
You are being called to bring your heart, your feelings, your emotions into your daily interactions because it is through your heart that you can access your intuition. By allowing yourself to ‘feel your answers’ you can better interact with other people from a place of heart-felt love.
This is not the smallest task The Divine Feminine has asked of us! I think (note that word I just wrote) that it is difficult to “feel answers.” It is especially difficult for men to “bring our hearts” into daily interactions. And yet how else can we ever hope to make progress into becoming truly 21st Century humans?
While we wait for Putin’s next move in the Crimea/Ukraine arena of what we thought was a long-dead cold war, it is a challenge to bring my heart into the process and feelwhat is going on there. When I look at Putin I see a cold, hard, calculating menace to world peace. But where is my heart in this? Can I treat Russia as a being and accept that this may only be a defensive reaction? Is the heart of Russia threatened by the potential encroachment of NATO and Western Europe into her sphere of influence? Can this be more of a “heart reaction” than a cold, calculating grab for power?
What if I look at all of my interactions, day-to-day, ordinary-to-extraordinary, from my heart? Some days this is easier than others. Tonight Rosemary and I are going to a monthly social meeting of a local LGBT community. We always have a good time with these wonderful people. It is so easy to come from the heart in this group, to think through the heart and be genuine. I just finished assembling all of our tax return information to be sent off to our accountant. I will mail the package with heart-felt thanks that my taxes are going for the best our governments can do for me and us (and I may even get a refund!).
As I write this I am writing from the heart. I am thinking of all of you, dear readers, wherever you are, and asking you to take a moment and think of two aspects in your life now. First think of something very pleasant, maybe some future event that you are looking forward to, and move into your heart to sense how you will feel. Hold that feeling. Now move into a situation you are avoiding (maybe it’s even pulling together your tax information!). Can you take that warm-heart feeling into this unpleasant situation and get a sense that you can come at this task from your heart? This takes practice, I know. But it is worth the effort!
It is time for change. It is time for humans to mold the world in the image of a heart! We can do this one person at a time as we, together, make the leap. And as The Divine Feminine urge:
Be the evolutionary human being that you were born to be. Make the leap.
Men and The Goddess 