Home > Lessons for the Modern Man, Men and Spirituality > Self-Forgiveness as a form of Self-Love

Self-Forgiveness as a form of Self-Love

In yesterday’s post I responded to Rosemary’s exploration about Self-Love – how it feels. And I touched on forgiveness as a way of letting go, freeing oneself of bonds that constrict one’s growth and interfere with Self-Love which in turn interferes with one’s ability to love at all!

Then it hits; the lesson! It seems that as soon as I begin to think deeply about something I get hit with the exact lesson to drive home the understanding! Yesterday we were under time-pressure to finalize Rosemary’s class for that evening, to put together the presentation and collect all the materials. Then the printer indicated low ink supply, so it was off to Staples for more. But here’s the thing: we had received a big discount offer in the mail earlier in the week; I planned to use it for more ink. The discount could only be used online but I did not get a chance to get the order placed. And now we needed ink immediately. I stormed out of the house, hair on fire with the time-crunch foremost in my mind, and raced off to get the additional supplies. Then to compound an already harried day, I left material behind when we raced off to the class. More rushing, now we are late, more storming around!

It’s tough to reach into Self for some Love under these circumstances! It can only start with forgiveness!

The lessons here are multi-layered but the main one is Self-forgiveness. I had intended to order the ink. But the week was busy and it didn’t get done. As it turned out I didn’t even need the ink yet; the printer only sent me a warning. Everything turned out fine, the class was a great success and my hair didn’t really catch on fire! And now I even have a story to base this post on!

I am calm now. And I did learn something today, again, that’s very important: every moment is a learning experience, or at least an opportunity. If we pause in the moment and ask: “What is this?” even in the midst of the chaos and flaming hair, then we can begin the learning process. If we get angry, impatient, frustrated, and harried there is no room for learning, and likely, no peace, no calm, no Love! But it is not an easy practice to stop in the midst of the chaos, deadlines, time-constraints and frustrating interruptions to ask: “What is this?” Yet, this is the lesson and this is why we are here!

And at the end of the day I even have to look back and forgive myself for not only my impatience and anger, but the failed practice! It just keeps on compounding!

But isn’t this what “practice” is all about? If it is no longer practice, then we would not need to be here. Our purpose will have been fulfilled.

For now I’m just going to keep on practicing. Self-forgiveness is a very big and necessary action for those of us with a lot of Wood Element in our make-up. This is a reference to the main element type, of five, that I resonate with from Dr. Charles Moss’ work: Power of the Five Elements.  I am nearly finished with the book, a fantastic reference for anyone interested in Chinese Medicine, the Tao, acupuncture and health. (I will review the book here once I have finished my detailed read of it.) Here is just a sample of why this book is helping with my practice:

“Forgiveness and patience, the Virtues associated with the Wood Type, come from the vision and insight of the Wood energy. These Virtues can neutralize frustration, anger, impatience, and hostility (the toxic emotions and actions of the poorly adapted Wood Type) and create a path back to adaptation.”

My practice continues to transform the toxic emotions into these Virtues, to create a path to adaptation, or what Dr. Moss calls “knowing how to be.”


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