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Letting Go of My Obsession with Time
In my post yesterday I wrote: “I am learning to let go of this constant obsession with time.” This is not easy. As many of you readers know, one of my practices is “Daily Pages” as recommended by Julia Cameron in her Artist’s Way. Almost every day I begin those pages with some reference to time: the date, of course, how late in the week/month/year it is, how late in the morning I am writing, or how I had to skip pages yesterday because I was too busy. It truly is an obsession. And I wonder if it is getting worse as I get older.
So, I am working on this obsession. Yesterday I wrote in my pages on how I was going to let go. I was writing in the context of settling in to our new home and how it was going to take – TIME – of course! Here’s an excerpt:
It is clear that my relationship with time needs to change. I am very serious about this. I don’t know if I have to learn an indigenous language without the “to be” verb. I’m sure it would help. But this seems to be an intellectual exercise. What I need is to experience time as a native. I need to sink into time and live in it rather than through it.
Time is like a lake or a pond. It extends out in all directions. Events are like pebbles tossed into the pond. They ripple out, like echo rings. They may even bounce back when they reach the shore. And the pond returns to its serene state after a bit, smoothly available to the next event. I am the pond and I am the pebble. I am the ripple and the echo.
All this is inside, an internal vibration of consciousness. There is no beginning nor end to it. It is simply there as a phenomenon of awareness. It is all inside. It is nowhere else. It is a single note or an entire symphony, a cacophony of noise or a harmonious orchestration of experience.. It is up to the mind to filter and sort, to decode all the signals into a stream of intelligence.
But it’s all there, right now in this moment, to translate into meaning. Time is but one mechanism by which we translate the signal. It doesn’t have to follow in a linear fashion. It can spiral, it can circle or vibrate to and fro. It can echo and bounce. It is a matter of tuning the translator so we can grasp meaning from the noise.
My tendency is to stretch the noise into a straight line; I can look along this line and see a beginning and end. I take some comfort in this view. But I am uncomfortable with this notion of “end”! This limits time for me. It creates this notion of commodity that can become scarce and run out! This is precisely what I want to change.
I need to retune my translator. I need to view time as a spiral that circles and climbs. Everything circles! From spinning subatomic particles to the spin of galaxies and the Universe, the circle is eternal. “what goes around comes around” – Karma! Does the spiral have a linear motion? Or is it an ever-widening series of circles? This returns me to the question of direction. Does time have one?
The Buddha would say there is no getting off the wheel of Samsara until all desire is eliminated. Surely the desire for more time is one of the first desires to go! And when it is released the notion of all time is here, right now in this moment, gives me all the time I ever need!
As with everything in life, this retuning of my translator through which I view this human conception, time, requires practice. It is an inner practice. I am fortunate to have a guide in this who sets an example of a different way to view time. Rosemary’s article, The Karma of Time addressed this subject this past Wednesday.
How do you view time? Is it straight or does it circle or spiral? Does it have a direction? Does it go anywhere or is it more like a pond, resting quietly, waiting for events?
The Karma of Time – Richard’s Commentary
I have had a life-long struggle with Time. No, not the news magazine! I am emphasizing the word to indicate the importance of this phenomenon in modern life, at least this modern life.
Do you have enough time? Do you “spend time” like coinage? Do you catch yourself wasting time? Or even worse, do you “kill time” when you are waiting for something to happen? How many ways do you look at time? It sometimes seems almost alive. Often it seems like a commodity. Sometimes it’s the rarest of possessions. Other times it slips through our fingers like sand.
My struggle with time is I don’t seem to have enough of it. And knowing that time is nothing but a state of mind doesn’t necessarily help me reconcile the need for “more time.” I have had many teachers help me with this concept of time and my sense of it as a commodity that I need more of. I’ll get to Rosemary’s article in a moment but first I want to examine time from an indigenous world-view.
One of my teachers about time is Martín Prechtel. Growing up in an indigenous culture and then working and healing as a shaman in Mayan society in Guatemala, Martín has a very different understanding of time. And he works very hard to impart this indigenous understanding to his students. There are many native (Martín would say “natural”) languages that aren’t based on the verb “to be.” Entire languages developed without this sense of past, present, future as a central theme, understanding, and therefore, world-view. For me this has been a concept I’ve wrestled with. Martín suggests the best way to grasp it is to learn a language which has no “to be” verbs. I have, as yet, not taken on this assignment. And maybe that needs to be my next step to better understand, and more importantly, to let go of my obsession with time.
For Martín and his indigenous family time is more like ripples in a pond, echoes on the breeze, a spiral dance of moments that swirl and evolve gently. It is most definitely not linear. Past and future both are echoes of now. It’s a beautiful way to look at time. And it is certainly more relaxing than never having enough, running out, spending it foolishly!
My other teacher about time is Rosemary. We have always had a different take on time and I have always both wondered about this and admired her understanding. She always seems to have enough time, just enough. She seems able to take the time she has, all of it. She doesn’t waste it or spend it foolishly. And she doesn’t seem to hold on to it or grasp for more. Rosemary’s NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Psychology) teachers, whom I studied with as well, described two types of people: “in-timers” and “through-timers.” The in-timers are people who seem to float along as if they have plenty of it; this describes Rosemary. I am a through-timer who seems to be constantly running to catch up, to be on-time, to maximize the use of time.
I am learning to let go of this constant obsession with time. Rosemary’s view certainly helps; her article helps. But I think there is more to my “learning” about her concept of time, of the indigenous concept of time than an intellectual pursuit. Time, after all, is nothing more than a human invention, a concept. So we can imbue this concept with attributes that are more to our liking. But we also have to experience it with those attributes we would choose. Experience must support the change, the learning, the growth.
“All time is in this present moment.” Do you get this? Is this easy for you to understand? I’m working on it because I think there is a vital key here to unlock a very precious piece of knowledge. And all I need to do is fit that key to the lock and turn it!
MONDAY’S POEM: Community in Balance
I’ve been thinking a lot about community lately. Here’s another poem on the subject:
Community in Balance
Female and Male
Child and Teen
Hearing and telling
Common care.
Heart and Mind
Give and take
Receive and offer
Creative logic.
Moon and Sun
Winter and Summer
Sewing and harvest
Mindful work.
Death and Birth
Rest and action
Health and healing
Loving justice.
©2013 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
Where Is Your Community?
And maybe I should also add “who” to this question: Who Is Your Community?
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about this word community, probably since a retreat I was on this past Sunday with the leadership of “A Community of Transformation” (ACT), a local Annapolis, Maryland membership-based community of like-minded people involved in alternative healing, spiritual seeking and experiential sharing. It is a great community and we are now examining how to grow and spread our uplifting spiritual experiences to a broader audience. We are also looking to deepen our commitment to the broader community of Annapolis and expand the services our growing and vital community offers.
Beyond this recent thinking, my life purpose is wrapped up in community. As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, my hand analysis and fingerprint mapping takes me in the direction of community through love. I am in the School of Love, my Life Lesson is Love and my Life Purpose is Love. Baeth Davis dubbed me “Shaman of the Heart” when she read my prints and got to know me better. But what does this really mean?
When I was in the Peace Corp in Ethiopia many years ago there was a branch of services called “community development.” While I was a teacher at the secondary school level there, some of my colleagues were engaged in this so-called “community development.” I think now this label was erroneous. These folks weren’t developing community; they were building houses, teaching about irrigation possibilities, bringing new techniques to the local economy. They were not building community.
This past Monday I published a poem on Community; it began with “safety” and ended with “love.” Humans come together as social creatures to both increase the odds of survival and to bond together as like-minded individuals in a group to support a common cause. And yet there seems to be more to this notion of community.
Is it simply survival that first creates community? Or, is even this survival need driven by love? I would like to think it is not driven by fear. The soul doesn’t fear. The spirit is content, peaceful, in a constant state of Divine Bliss. And these essential and eternal aspects of ourselves are the source of love. These are the god/goddess core elements of what it is to be human. When these immortal parts of ourselves are in our consciousness there is no fear, only the desire for community.
With these thoughts in mind and with my Life Purpose in the forefront of my consciousness I feel compelled to build community. What does this mean? In one sense it means to continue what I have already begun. In another it means expanding the vision, to grow it even more.
There are many like-minded people coming into Rosemary and my life now, and they are calling us to leadership. ACT and the leadership of ACT is just one community calling us to ACTion! We have our own community to build. The time is now to bring our community together, to grow it and to devote all our energy to this great cause.
You, as a reader of this blog, are part of this community. And I commit to continue to develop it, to bring my thoughts about “men and the goddess” into sharper focus, to expand my readership and to reach out to the greater global community to bring my sense of inner peace and deeper understanding to you.
Where is your community? Who is your community? Develop your own sense of belonging to the great human community through love.
PS: One way to join our community is to subscribe to Rosemary’s weekly newsletter. She offers incredible advice and spiritual insight every week. And it’s FREE! Join RosemarySpace: Subscribe Here
What Would You Do? Do It Now! – Richard’s Commentary
I don’t feel old! OK, I did just move through my 68th birthday. By many standards this is at least approaching “old.” My grandkids think I’m old, but even they are polite enough not to say so unless asked directly. They see us in action and know we move through life with a lot of energy, a lot of vitality; good qi drives us!
But maybe these days it doesn’t require attainment of a certain age in order to get this message: “do it now!” This past Friday in our Qigong class the teacher, who is also an acupuncture practitioner, reflected that she was seeing way too many patients coming to her with a “pre-cancerous” diagnosis. A good, younger friend was just told he had a lymphoma; another good, younger friend just completed his treatment for prostate cancer. And I just scheduled a bone marrow biopsy to determine why my red-blood cell count is diminishing.
So, the admonition in Rosemary’s message: There is an urgency about the energies around us today. We each have a reason that we were born into this time on the Planet. Have you discovered your purpose? Are you clear about what you are to be doing now? If not, then that is your work today really does ring true!
First the “urgency”. I do feel this energy and it’s not just because I am in the midst of diagnosing a health condition and am surrounded by others going through a similar process for one ailment or another. There is a building sense that things are not right, that there is a potential building to create a shift, and not necessarily a gentle shift! Rosemary and I both have been writing in our blogs about this energy for transformation. Many of our associates are also feeling this energy. It is manifesting in many way, not just through disease. Many are feeling the dis-ease of our times, whether it is in the form of political, social, economic, or health issues. We seem to have come to a place where things our “out of kilter.”
Rosemary’s advice is to “discover your purpose.” And then “do it now!” And no, I don’t think time is necessarily running out; I don’t sense that my life is threatened by whatever malady I have that needs a diagnosis. This urgency is born of the sense that the energy of transformation needs a response. And the best response is in the direction of our purpose.
I have had my hands read by one of the best in the business, Baeth Davis, and by some of her students and others who have studied Scientific Hand Analysis. My life purpose is revealed in my fingerprints. I have lots of “loops” which means I am in the school of love, my lessons are about love and my purpose is love. (So, it’s not unreasonable that I would write a blog entitled Men and the Goddess!)
My purpose is to connect people in community with each other and with the divine. I am a builder of connections so people can experience and express both human and divine love. And over the years I have done this in many ways, through several approaches.
Since I know my purpose and I have been working at it, why this urgency? What is my lesson in the ailment I am being urged to diagnose? For me the message here is to remember my purpose and work as diligently as possible at it. It is more a positive reminder and a gentle push to keep going, keep building community, keep working on the vision Rosemary and I have for a Center of Light and Love.
Do you have this sense that the energies of change are breathing down your neck? If so, and I know many of you know exactly what I’m writing about, then what are you doing about it? Do you know your purpose for being here on the planet at this crucial time in human history? Are you going about that purpose as diligently and energetically as possible?
I second Rosemary’s admonition: “Do it now!”
PS: If you have never had your hands read, if you are struggling to know what your life purpose is, if you too have this sense of urgency that the world is changing and needs your response, then consider getting a scientific hand analysis by Rosemary. She is one of the best because she adds her talents as a Channel and a Medium to the analysis work!Click Here for more information.
MONDAY’S POEM: Community
Yesterday Rosemary and I spent much of the day with some very special people working to form an expanded vision for the Annapolis area ACT (A Community of Transformation) organization. It was inspiring to spend such quality time with some highly conscious creative people as we continue to transform ourselves and the Community for future action!
The day inspired me to think about what it means to be in community. Here’s what I wrote:
Community
Safety
Numbers
Together
Family
Extended
Tribal
Sharing
Working
Playing
Singing
Stories
Dancing
Creating
Caring
Healing
Wholeness
Heart Center
Love.
©2013 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
New Moon in Leo I Ching Divination
The New Moon in Leo occurred on Tuesday, August 6 at 5:51 pm EDT this year. We had completed the heavy lifting of our move to Severna Park the day before. We were united with all of our stuff for the first time in over two years. Of course we didn’t know where everything was yet (still don’t) as the job of sorting and searching, finding places for things and finalizing what we need and what we can store or purge in another round of down-sizing proceeds. As we look at the stacks and array of boxes to be opened and managed the task seems daunting.
With this background it is no surprise that I cast a highly appropriate initial Gua for the month ahead! At least I was able to find my yarrow stalks and my current favorite “bible” on the I Ching, Alfred Huang’s The Complete I Ching.
Here is the hexagram I cast as the starting point:
Notice it is made up of two identical trigrams; the name in Chinese is Dui or Lake in English. Master Huang says this word means something more like a swamp or marsh, similar to rice paddies. When put together the hexagram is also named Dui. The meaning of the hexagram is Joyful.
Notice that the initial, lowest line has a circle in the middle of it; this was cast as a nine and means it is the changing line for this Gua; it changes from a yang, closed line to a yin, open line yielding a new Gua with a very different meaning. So, as the month opens I have a joyful period to experience. I equate this to the joy of being reunited with all my stuff, of setting up a new household where everything is where I want it to be, even those items that need to be stored or purged. Rosemary and I are both in a state of great joy that we now have a new home to both live in and work from.
The specific meaning of the changing line gives another layer of meaning; the yao text refers to “inner harmony” as the basis for joy. This is excellent advice. Yes, while all the surroundings are lining up to bring joy, the primary source of joy is always inside. As long as I remain harmonious inside, all the boxes and frustration of sorting and deciding can remain incidental to the overall state of being joyful.
How are you being joyful this August? Seek inner harmony and all external circumstances can drop away.
Now for the approached gua, the one formed when the initial yao changes from yang to yin:
This is Kun or Exhausting. No surprise here! After the strenuous move and all the sorting, deciding, arranging and purging I do expect to experience a level of exhaustion. This gua also refers to other resources, like money. It will be easy to over-spend as we are joyful about settling in and enjoying our new spaces.
Symbolically, the lower trigram moved from Lake to Kan or Water. With Water under Lake the lake drains away, resources diminish.
According to Master Huang, the Sage rides out these periods of low energy and drained resources, realizing this time too shall pass. The advice here is conserve what little energy remains. Go inside to consider next moves. Wait out the period of exhaustion; there will be plenty of opportunity ahead.
How do you deal with exhausting states? The advice of this gua is to conserve and wait.
As another note the mutual gua for Kun is Jia Ren or Household! The mutual gua holds additional meaning for the reading. I am again not surprised that Household comes up; for me at this time my household is both the source of joy and exhaustion!
How is your household bringing you both joyful and exhausting experiences?
Moving Forward – Richard’s Commentary
Rosemary’s “Exploration” in her MuseLetter on Friday and again in her post yesterday was timely considering our physical move of home and belongings over this past weekend. Clearly we had a lot of experience “moving” and I can only hope, given the energy put into this move, that it was “forward”!
The move itself went very smoothly. The weather was great, especially for early August in Maryland. The logistics all worked well from rental truck to professional piano movers. Even the “baby grand” cooperated by just squeezing neatly through the door.
I expected to be sore from all the physical lifting and lugging, the twisting with heavy boxes and the tight hold needed to boost them into and out of the truck. And I do have twinges of an ache here or an over-used muscle there. But I don’t feel nearly as stiff and sore as I expected.
And immediately following the move I began a new Qigong class series this past Monday evening. As I was doing my final preparations and going through the form one more time before class I realized why I survived this strenuous and very physical move with relative ease: I had been practicing Qigong for well over a year and mixing in a steady dose of Yoga as well. I am fit and ready for this kind of physical exertion.
Qigong consists of circle-motions and spirals, movements to gather and focus the Qi. The more I practice and the longer I experience this building Qi the more effortless it becomes. The practice is to evolve to effortlessness. And while my move over this past weekend was anything but effortless, it certainly wasn’t as exhausting as I expected.
And then I reread Rosemary’s post and this paragraph caught my attention:
Our personal journeys are not linear – they do not go forward in a straight line. They spiral, around and around. And, if we are moving forward in our personal growth, we are able to see from a new perspective with each return of the spiral, to understand in a new way what we couldn’t see before. This is moving forward along our path of personal growth in consciousness.
Just as our Qi spirals and turns around and around, so too does our journey through life. As Rosemary observes, every cycle presents us with a new perspective to grow into.
Keep moving forward. It is not just for you. It is not just to ease your pain, extend your life or live more comfortably. It is to expand your consciousness and to be an essential part of the evolution of Universal Consciousness.
How? Practice. It doesn’t have to be Qigong, although I highly recommend it. Keep moving forward, spiral around and take another look from the new perspective. Learn, grow, take the next step and wake up to a new you!
MONDAY’S POEM: Time
We spent the entire weekend moving; moving, no matter how far or how much is always a bit surreal. It’s difficult to know when you are finished; there seems no end to the stuff that has to be loaded, moved and unloaded. And time is like that during a move as well. It seems to drag on forever, and then it’s day’s end before you have moved the last box!
I wrote this a few months ago, but it seems to apply to our moving weekend quite well!
Time
Robert Bly says:
“It’s already too late”
In his Midwestern, Norwegian
Accent I know so well.
But is this true?
Are we out of time?
I would rather be in time,
Wouldn’t you?
Time is a slippery notion.
It slips right by when we are not in it.
How often do we kill time?
We spend it, waste it as if it were coinage.
Time is only an attitude.
We are either in it or out of it.
As we spiral through life
I want to live it, not be too late!
©2013 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
Change…and moving in the rain!
As I write this I have finished up our first day of moving. I’m feeling a bit tired and stiff…some muscles were stretched a bit more than usual today! But thank goodness for Qigong! I moved well through the day and after a rest will be ready for another one tomorrow!
I woke up on the first day of August to rain. My first reaction was, “oh, no, moving in the rain won’t be much fun” (as if moving is ever fun!). Then I quickly recalled my Dad’s admonition to never complain about the rain. He was a dairy farmer his whole life. The grass and the crops that provided all the feed for the cattle depended on the rain. And when you are in the middle of a field, putting up hay for the winter, the rain can be inconvenient. But it is not something to complain about, ever!
I quickly changed my “oh, no” to an “oh, well, we do need some rain; and in any case there is nothing I can do about it!”
Fortunately we live in Maryland where the weather can change on a dime. By the afternoon the rain was gone and the sun was shining and we moved our first load without getting wet at all!
Whether we are talking about change in the weather or we are talking about bigger changes, like moving an entire household to a new house, change is inevitable. The only question is what attitude to assume when looking at the on-rushing changes.
And this is my point. Rosemary and I have both been writing a lot about change lately. We are anticipating many changes in the coming months. We know many will be great, in full alignment with our direction and goals. We also know there will be stumbling blocks put in our way; our lessons lie before us and we accept them. The question we ask as we move into every step, every change we either want to make or are forced to make by circumstances is: “how is my attitude toward this change?”
Some days it’s going to rain. Some days we might stumble. Some lessons may be harder to learn than others. But we both know we are on the right path, we are doing what we love, and we are ever expanding into our Soul Purpose Work.
How do you approach change in your life? Do you fear it? Avoid it? Do you rush into it with your eyes shut? These questions bring me to my second point about change: After I get my attitude about the inevitability of change set correctly I then face the choices in my response to the change.
All change comes with choice. My response today to the rain I awoke to could have been to postpone the move by a day. The weather report indicated the possible clearing by the afternoon, but you know how well the weather people predict! I moved forward with a certain amount of trust that things would work out. While my Dad was saying: “never complain about the rain” Rosemary’s Mom was saying: “things always work out for the best.” And sure enough, they did today!
So, maybe the big lesson today is “trust your parents.” They may have some pithy sayings and family proverbs to offer but in my case they tend to be right more often than not!
Adopt a positive attitude toward inevitable change, make the best choices you can under the circumstances and trust your parents! Good guidance for facing the changes that are coming!
PS: Happy Solar Return, Rosemary!! Yes, Rosemary and I have the same birthday. This year is the 41st one we’ve been happy to share!
Men and The Goddess 