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Love and Self-Love: Part 2
(Post-Epilogue: Today, November 30, I broke one of my special, probably most precious, Yixing teapots, one that I’ve had with me for years. Another loss, this one more permanent than misplaced reading glasses and a lot closer to my heart. Lesson? Another one; very hard this time? Really? Clearly I am in a fast-paced learning mode at this stage of my journey!)
Self-Love. Not a simple path. Practice Love; begin with self!
It is even difficult to go back to my last post and read my own words on this subject. How do I love self, the clumsy oaf who swept his pot from the counter in an over-exuberant flourish? But life hasn’t stopped and I must Love on!
My first step in working through the lesson today, the loss of another precious object, is to accept impermanence. It’s all just temporary, right? Let go. Yes, of course, grieve the loss. But within the grief is the built-in praise. I can certainly find gratitude for all the years of service the pot gave me. My memories of pouring tea from it, admiring the design, experiencing the beautiful color develop over the years of use are still with me to celebrate. This is another reminder of the cycle in everything; the pot began as dirt in a ditch in China; the dirt was harvested, hopefully with ceremony, thanksgiving and praise; then it was processed into clay, worked, hand-shaped, finished and fired; somehow it made it all the way from China to me safely; and now it returns to dust.
When I worked with micaceous clay in New Mexico with master potter, Felipe Ortega, we experienced the entire life-cycle of the clay. I made several small pots; and while my first attempts were nothing to take pictures of, they were special to me. One of the assignments, we later learned, was to sacrifice a pot to the Holy. We each broke one of our pots against a post as an offering, as a way of giving thanks for the clay and for our hands that shaped the clay, and the Holy who shaped us all. The shards remained in that spot for years afterward. And we each took a shard from that pile of rubble to grind down and incorporated into our next pot; the cycle was unbroken.
I can do this with a shard from my teapot. I can keep it going, giving, by recycling it in a personal and useful way. The object doesn’t go away, it only changes its shape. “Pots are fashioned from clay, but it’s the emptiness that makes a pot work.” – Taoteching, Ch. 11. The pot may be impermanent, but the clay is still there as is the emptiness!
As another step in the learning, can I turn the curse at my ill luck at breaking the pot into a blessing? This is another practice I learned in Bolad’s Kitchen with Martín Prechtel. Oh, yes, I did curse myself, my luck, my inattention, my carelessness, my mindlessness as I watched the pot tumble to the floor and become shards. Then I withdrew before my anger spilled over too far to hit others in the path of my negative energy, the antithesis of self-love. And I went inside for awhile. And as I write I am still processing, learning to do it through words coming from the inside rather than holding it all in where it churns and festers. Where are the blessings that come from this loss? In a sense I have already done some of this work, thanking the pot for its years of service. But what about me? Can I find a way to bless me through this lesson? This is where it gets really hard!
I am here, at the keyboard, writing words that will help me work through the curses that I can’t take back. I am letting go the anger, giving it to the compost heap where it can metabolize back into usefulness rather than metastasize within me. And I can recall the years with the pot and all the use it gave me and the care I gave it during those years; we took good care of each other for a good long time. And I can place the pot in a corner of my mind to remind me to come back, cycle back to the present moment. And I can know that the pot can help me pay attention to everything in the moment; to expand my awareness beyond a narrow focus and take in my environment, appreciating very thing around me and near and dear to me.
So, I bless myself for my deep thought, my appreciation for fine things, my attention to detail and my broad and extraordinary experiences that come together to inform and refine my approach to life, and the impermanence that threads through it All.
And with moist eyes I come back to Love, even self-love as I accept my blessings and learn a bit more about forgiveness.
Love and Self-Love
(Epilogue: I went back to the post office this morning and they did have my glasses, pretty much right where I had left them. My immediate reaction was delight and gratitude, even for this small event. And then I asked myself about the lesson: mindfulness, gratitude, and never sweat the small stuff!)
In my on-going exploration of this subject of Self-Love (why is it so important?) I wrote something worth sharing in my daily “Pages” the other day:
It all comes back to trust. This is always hugely important. And trust falls back on Love. Everything rests on Love. All of creation springs from Love! And where does this love spring from? How did this “energetic” get launched, and “who” launched it? Of course, this is the mystery, this is The Goddess, The Holy. And this is Their echo across the gulf of time to now. It is Self-Love that launched all of Creation. It is the reflexive “thing” that initiated everything. And ultimately this “Thing” is a vast and unfathomable emptiness. It is the Void, the Deep referred to in Genesis. It is over this Deep that the Voice of Love spoke it all into being. (Or did She sing it?) How? Does it really matter? Why? This is the bigger question. Clearly, for me, this is about Self knowledge. It comes back to the reflection, the echo, the mirror we are for the Love Energy that pre-exists the All! That which came first is this “Thing” of which I write.
We, our consciousness, our love are the reflection of that original Love. This is the Image of God we wear and act. This is the image we see in every face, in every creature, in every being, in all of creation, The Created.
To Rosemary’s Video Inspiration and Exploration this week, her call to Self-Love, we respond as a reflection of creation and the creative force of Love. There is no way around it! If we are a reflection of the Love Energy that created everything, then we are Love and our response must be Love; it is essential for us to be the mirrors in which The Holy see themselves. Without us They don’t exist! Without our Love They show us faces of more limited emotions!
When we love ourselves, we love. When we love we reflect the face of Goddess. When we reflect the face of Goddess we are lovable and are loved. Love is this energetic through which all echoes reverberate. It is the Ether carrying the songs of praise across the valleys. It is the Water of Life carrying the whales’ songs from wave to shining wave. It is the Earth carrying the deep ground vibrations, the songs of the rocks from peak to purple peak. All of this is Love, nothing more. There is no deep mystery here other than What started it all. And maybe this question doesn’t really matter either. If Love is All then the beginning is Love as well. Accept this and everything becomes clear and real.
So, the words of Jesus are true: God is Love; and Love is God. We are Love; we are God. Love is both inside and outside. It is the substance and the substrate. It is the container and the contained. It is the bridge across the gulf and the gulf. It is emptiness and everything. It is nothing and All. It was before the beginning, It is now, and It will be after the end.
As a creature of now it is my purpose to reflect this power of the Universe, this Love in all that I do and through my very beingness. If I am Love, God, this creative force, this very Life Consciousness, then I can only be and act out of Love. And this includes loving me.
Self-Love. Not a simple path. Practice Love; begin with self!
“Gratitude and Loving Yourself” a Commentary from Richard
Have you reviewed the video and commentary by Rosemary from her FREE weekly MuseLetter? I posted them over the past couple of days; if you want to receive them directly you can subscribe here. Today here are my thoughts on the support Rosemary offers for living a conscious life and her theme of the week, Gratitude and Loving Yourself:
Self-Love. Some days this is really difficult. Rosemary writes everything is perfect just as it is right now in this moment; everything is in agreement with The Plan; everything is unfolding just as it needs to, bringing the perfect Plan into reality. Yes, we have lessons and are learning lessons, everyday, with every unfolding moment. And as we learn these lessons we move into next moments that are also perfect because we have experienced (maybe even learned) these lessons.
And the first step toward self-love is gratitude for self and the lessons being learned. OK, then I have a lot to be grateful for! Examples abound every day. I just got back from the post office, went to get my reading glasses out of my pocket (where I “always” put them) only to come up short; no glasses. So I search every pocket, in the car and various places I may have left them. No luck. I get angry, especially with myself for misplacing my “stupid glasses”! (As if they were suppose to remember where I left them!)
Over-reaction? Of course! Yet another lesson in – what? Patience with myself, always putting things where they “belong”, mindfulness? I’m reminded of a Zen story about a monk who goes to his master believing he is ready for the test of enlightenment. The monk dashes through the rain and puddles with his trusty umbrella to his master’s hut, bows and humbly kneels before the master fully prepared. The master asks: “On which side of the door did you leave your umbrella?” Unable to answer the monk even more humbly withdraws to meditate on mindfulness for another 7 years!
Gratitude for the lessons is one of the lessons! I am alive and healthy and unharmed. I can return to the post office tomorrow to see if I left my glasses there. Meanwhile I have a spare pair. And they are only “drug-store” reading glasses; easily replaced. Were they worth the anger and upset at their loss? Of course not. Did my anger at myself gain anything other than upset that extended to others in my presence? Not at all. Did I learn a lesson here? Maybe. Will I lose something in the future. Certainly. And will I learn the lesson today so that the next time I lose that thing I can let it go, forgive myself for the lapse and move on? Only with continued practice!
We are all every moment of life practicing at being alive, being fully present, being conscious in every moment. This is what the lessons are all about: our opportunity to practice. And when we get pretty good at one lesson we get a new one to practice. This is where the acceptance comes in. This is where the self-forgiveness enters. When we are grateful for these opportunities we do, in fact, begin to move toward self-love.
I would add a second step toward this practice of self-love; the next step after gratitude is trust. We have to trust the Plan, that there is a Plan, that there is a purpose to it all. And we have to trust that our lessons are part of this Great Plan, that we are alive at this time with everyone and everything around us in perfect order and proper unfolding of the grand structure that is in process of becoming. I have to trust that losing my glasses today in some small, almost infinitesimal way, contributed to the process of becoming. One more opportunity to practice self-love in spite of my frustration with myself contributes to the Scheme.
This trust is part of the mystery. How can I possibly believe that my loss and my lesson on patience and self-forgiveness, self-love contribute to the Unfolding Perfection? There is no proof here; there is no evidence, not even a shred, that this incident is significant. But I trust that it is. And because I trust I continue to practice. And because I continue to practice, learn my lessons, I am ever so slowly improving myself, taking steps on my journey. And maybe, just maybe in some completely mysterious way, that I may never understand or realize, the world will be a better place.
Self-Love. Not a simple path. It begins with gratitude and moves to trust. And there is so much more…practice, practice, practice!
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: “Gratitude and Loving Yourselff”
Here’s Rosemary’s commentary on her weekly video I posted yesterday:
In this season of Thanksgiving and holidays we focus on being grateful for the blessings in our lives and for the people who are sharing our journeys with us. But have you taken the time to move into gratitude for yourself?
What traits do you have that you can feel grateful for? What aspects of yourself do you need to learn to love? Gratitude for yourself in all your parts is the first step toward loving yourself.
Most of us find it very easy to be grateful for the friends we have in our lives. Some of us can be grateful for our families, or at least some family members. But what about YOU? We are so good at analyzing ourselves and finding fault when we would give someone else a lot more leeway. Have you ever felt self-critical? Do you catalogue your mistakes or the things you wish were different and focus your energy on these things? Do you find it easier to focus on what you don’t like about yourself rather than those aspects that you do like?
If you answered ‘yes’ you’re not alone. But consider that every single aspect of you is important to the WHO YOU ARE at this time in your life. Every bit of you is lovable, whether you believe that at the moment or not. WE asked you to come to Earth to be a part of the process of the unfolding of the Plan of the Universe and you agreed to join us. Thank you.
So if you are perfect right now, in this present moment, and your role is to learn lessons and to help everyone around you to learn their lessons, then every thing that you have done and every aspect of who you are contributes to all of the lessons being learned. Just as you are grateful for those around you, be grateful to yourself for being just what you agreed to be.
Everything that you see as a fault in yourself has some purpose, even if you don’t understand it at the moment. If you wish to change something about yourself, then change it. But do so from an energy of gratitude for the lessons that you have learned and from the space of not needing to be that way in the future. This is a much higher energy than to be in disgust or frustration with yourself!
Each of us is on a path of personal growth if we are living a conscious life. We are constantly moving forward by assessing our lives, changing that which we wish to change, lifting our awareness to higher perspectives and moving on to the next level of being. We are learning lessons all the time. Whatever we see in ourselves is serving a purpose or has served a purpose on our journey. Being in gratitude for ourselves is the starting place for loving ourselves.
Accept yourself and every moment of your life up until this point. Every backward glance over your timeline can carry with it an appreciation for all that you have learned. Some lessons came clearly and easily and others were difficult or tedious to learn. You might still be in the midst of some tough lessons or you might be in a more peaceful moment in your life. And every single lesson has brought you a step further on the path of personal growth. Every aspect of your person has been a loving contributor to every lesson. Be grateful. And love every aspect of yourself.
Loving yourself is not just an emotional thing. It is an important step along your personal journey. I declare today ‘Love Your Wonderful Self Day’! I love you just as you are. Now take that to the mirror and say, ‘I love you!’ to the reflection you see there. And express your gratitude for at least 1 part of you. Smile. Congratulations!
PS: Did you know you can get these video messages and my commentary directly by email every Friday? When you subscribe I also include a GIFT as a thank you for joining my list: a professionally recorded 7-minute audio recording to help you relax and de-stress. Subscribe Here
Inspiration from The Divine Feminine: “Love Yourself”
This week’s video urges us to love ourselves and to demonstrate this love by holding healthy boundaries and by trusting our intuition:
PS: If you would like to hear more from The Divine Feminine Rosemary offers a FREE short call every Monday evening, 8:30 pm Eastern time. She channels a message about the energies for the week and offers other information to guide us toward living a more conscious life. Register to receive the call-in number!
Ritual
We just finished Thanksgiving dinner, a family ritual repeated many times in many places this week in America. Perhaps this is more accurately a tradition. But there are certainly the rituals, some even hidden, within the traditions established by families across this holiday and across the land. It’s within the rituals where the magic happens!
In yesterday’s post I wrote about the rituals I surround myself with when I write, especially my “morning pages.” The candle and incense, the blessing and clearing of my space, my alter, my tools, pen and notebook, cards and journal, all part of creating the magic space within which I write. Ritual for me is a vital element of life; not just my spiritual life but all of my waking moments. Ritual is bridge-building; it connects me, especially vertically from the core of Mother Earth to the deepest reaches of the Universe. And it connects the inner me, welding me together, physical, emotional, mental spiritual, male, female, creating a unity, a pillar to support that bridge.
Ritual connects me to the Holy. I sit, remembering the Holy and pray that in making this connection They remember me. It is only in this reflection, this echo across time, within this ritual space that any of us can exist. If we don’t remember and are not remembered there is nothing here.
We all surround ourselves with ritual whether we recognize it as ritual or not. All the little aspects of our lives, the habits that get us through our days, the repeated functions that move us through time and space, for the most part with little thought, are our vital rituals. It is a good practice to take note of these rituals. Which ones work? Which ones are limiting? How do we separate the supportive from the limiting rituals so we can expand, evolve, grow in consciousness?
The first step, as is so often the case, is to become aware of our rituals, habits, behavior patters that get us through the days. Take note of habits that support and become more intentional about these; reinforce them; bring more attention to them and examine the ways in which they support you. If a pattern is not helping, even interfering with your life, make note of that too, and determine how you might limit or even eliminate it.
The second step is to look for new rituals, establish new behavior patterns that support your goals. This is the fun part. If you don’t have a regular practice of any kind, create one. Then practice it; ritualize it. It is through the practice that the magic happens. It is the repeated behavior that creates a thought pattern that after a few repetitions creates the “groove” that kindles the energy of magic.
The third step is to expand this process outward to additional patterns. Create a ritual about everything in your life and your life will be magical. And I’m not suggesting here that you turn everything you do into a repeating series of patterns with no changes, no expansion, no creativity! Ritual without creative expansion becomes rote and dogmatic, rigid and stifling. The trick is constant awareness and focused intention on the expanding patterns that support you through your days.
And in this week when we celebrate Thanksgiving, we need to be grateful for us, our lives, our rituals that support our ever-expanding understanding of who we are and our place in this incredible Universe.
Make it a ritual and magic-full weekend. I’ll do some ritual writing myself and see you back here on Monday.
“Writing” a Commentary from Richard
Have you reviewed the video and commentary by Rosemary from her FREE weekly MuseLetter? I posted them over the past couple of days; if you want to receive them directly you can subscribe here. And today here are my thoughts on the support Rosemary offers for living a conscious life and her theme of the week, Writing:
As I’ve written here before one of my practices to seek inner guidance is from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. In her book she recommends several practices; the key one I’ve adopted is to write 3 pages of “stuff” long-hand, every morning; these are called “morning pages.” I’ve actually been following this practice for many years; I have stacks of notebooks filled with my scrawl! And, no, I don’t get to this practice every single day. And there are stretches of time when I lapse and don’t write for days, even weeks. But I do very much benefit from the practice when I am disciplined in doing it.
I don’t always get to my practice first thing in the morning either; today it was 3:00 pm! But I do know that the day goes much better after I write so I do most days get to my writing position after yoga, qigong and tea in the AM.
I make a ritual of this practice and embed it in other rituals. Rituals are like good habits; they are both comforting and support the discipline. I light a candle on my alter (see my post last week) and I light incense to clear me, the alter, the space and the writing (including my decks of cards for divination). Then I sit cross-legged with a pillow to support the notebook. I also use a nice fountain pen; this is obviously not a requirement but I like fine tools!
I sit and write the three pages straight through. The content is not always noteworthy; in fact it rarely is! This is not the point; Cameron’s point in doing this practice is to clear the mind, clear the clutter from sleep, dreams, any junky thoughts, unprocessed emotions, mental cobwebs that might otherwise get in the way of clearer, more creative writing. Most often my pages begin with a dump of this kind of mind-trash. But I’m finding with the years of practice this often only takes a page or even some days just a few lines. Then I can get down to more meaningful inquiry.
So, I do use these pages to go inside, to meditate through the use of words, to let my mind go and my writing to follow the thoughts as they come. While Rosemary is a clairaudient and a clairvoyant my information comes through word flow; I don’t hear the words or see them, they just seem to form almost of themselves when I am in that clear space of receiving. I wish I could say this happens for me every day! But it does happen often enough to be extremely rewarding.
After I write out my three pages I then draw two cards from two decks of cards, as I’ve written here before. I write a half-page of notes about each card, what I think it means for me and the energies of the day. This fills my fourth page of writing for the day and these paragraphs are always meaningful (I’ve cleared the clutter with the pages). I use a separate, slightly nicer journal to record these divinations; and I use a better pen (more of the ritual).
And some days I am motivated, inspired to write a poem – a third writing practice I use. And on Mondays I’ve begun sharing some of my poems here on the blog.
I’d love to hear from you about your writing practices. What works for you? Have you tried “morning pages”? Please comment!
Meanwhile, “write-on.”
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Write Your Way to Success
Here’s Rosemary’s commentary on her weekly video I posted yesterday. She continues her exploration of tools for accessing our inner guidance, this time focusing in on writing as one such tool.
Rosemary writes:
This is the time to decide what ‘success’ means for you. For most people on the spiritual path, success is not measured by the numbers in the bank account. What is ‘success’ for you?
We’re not talking here about writing a best-selling book that makes you lots of money, although it is fun to be a ‘Best Selling Author,’ but about the kind of writing that comes from your heart. Journaling, meditative writing, channeled writing, letter writing, poetry composing, music composing, drawing, notetaking. So many ways to write!
Let’s talk about letter writing. When is the last time you wrote a letter? I’m not talking about typing an email, but taking pen in hand and actually allowing the words to flow from your mind and heart onto the paper through the pen. When is the last time you received a handwritten letter or note? It feels good to write a personal note on a birthday card or sympathy card. And when did you last send a handwritten thank you note?
When you tune in to another person as you focus on them while you write you are making an important energetic connection through the space-time continuum. There really is no separation in space and time so taking the time to connect through letter writing is a special energetic that can support both parties.
And what about problem solving when there is an issue or conflict between parties? These are the times when you want to be deliberate and take the time to re-read what you have written before you send the letter. You also want to copy your letter so you have a record of what you wrote. Most importantly, though, you want to take the time to make sure you are being congruent with your values before you send a letter in the heat of the moment.
When you write, connect first with your inner guidance to get into harmony within yourself. Then connect to the intended recipient of the letter, energetically inviting the connection for the highest good of all. Do all of this before you put pen to paper.
And sometimes ‘forgiveness’ comes into the picture. Do you need to forgive yourself or someone else before you write that letter? Remember that forgiveness is not about excusing behavior that is hurtful. Rather, forgiveness is saying, ‘Although I have felt hurt, I refuse to allow this energy to stay in my energy field or physical body. I release all energy associated with this and hold myself in gratitude for the lessons I have learned.’ Sometimes it can help in this process to write a letter and then burn it as you release the hurt and choose to stand in your own power. Forgive yourself, too, if you are focusing on having missed the mark in something. Give up the energy of feeling bad and decide that you will hold gratitude for lessons learned.
Sometimes journaling can be a great tool for self-knowledge that can support your success. Try journaling at different times of day to decide when you best connect with your inner being.
Writing is a good way to connect to your inner guidance, too. Your guides are always ready to speak to you when you quiet your mind-chatter and listen. If you hold a pen in hand and invite them to write to you, you can find that the pen captures the thoughts and the words write themselves.
Ask questions and write the answers. Ask about relationships, finances, business, life. The answers are inside. The pen brings them out and places them squarely in your conscious awareness.
Try it! And while you are at it, try writing a poem or drawing a picture or making up a story. Let your creativity flow through a pen or pencil or marker and watch how the clues to your success emerge.
PS: If you are enjoying these written messages you may be interested in my Monday calls when I channel The Divinine Feminine. These are FREE calls for your support and guidance through these fascinating times approaching the Winter Solstice of 2012. The calls are scheduled at 8:30 PM Eastern Time every Monday. Sign up here for the call details
Inspiration from The Divine Feminine: Writing
In this video Rosemary suggests writing as a way to tap into your inner guidance.
PS: If you would like to hear more from The Divine Feminine Rosemary offers a FREE short call every Monday evening, 8:30 pm Eastern time. She channels a message about the energies for the week and offers other information to guide us toward living a more conscious life. Register to receive the call-in number!
A POEM: “Honor Your Grandfather”
I have decided to begin sharing some of my poetry. Mondays seem a good time to do that, a good way to start the week. If you enjoy these I’d love to read your comments!
The following, “Honor Your Grandfather” I subtitled: ‘A remembrance of “A Day for Men” with Robert Bly and Michael Meade at the Lisner auditorium, Washington, DC’. I had attended this day, a lot of years ago now, in the middle years of the men’s movement known as the “Mytho-Poetic Men’s Movement.” I was very moved and influenced by this day for men. And I did then and still do honor my grandfather. As we approach Thanksgiving here in the US I particularly honor all of my ancestors whose product I remain.
The clear day was filled
With heightened expectations—
“A Day for Men.”
At the entrance we were guided
Through a side door leading to steps
Descending into the womb of the theater.
Winding through narrow passages
Voices whispered “Remember your Grandfather.”
“Remember the ancestors,” “Honor your Father.”
A faint rumble echoed
At the Edge of perception—it began
To resolve into rhythm.
Dark warmth held us, then
Suddenly we were birthed
Onto a stage amongst fifty men.
Drumming! Dancing! We were urged on—
Asked to dance across the stage,
To perform for the sea of faces looking back.
The short trip was filled
With tension—light, sound, motion
Blending in splendid cacophony.
Off stage, at our seats, we stood
Dancing in place, pounding rhythm
Of drums, hands, feet—driving.
“Remember your Grandfather” echoed
On the rhythm. He appeared on stage
Larger than he had ever been in life.
Tears streamed—“He would have loved this!”
Primeval sensation drove his body
And mine as we entrained with the drum.
Remembered days with him—the
Dark tavern—blue smoke hanging
Sullenly in the sodden air.
The bar supporting elbows
Of overalled farmers—fresh manure still
Clinging to rubbered boots.
The sweet/sour whiskey and beer breaths
Mingled with aimless talk
Of weather, crops and cows.
They laughed and cried, shared lies
That covered their fears and
Broken dreams—we laughed/cried.
The almost painful rhythm
Brought back the now—then stopped!
We had arrived.
©1990 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
Men and The Goddess 