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ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Dream-Makers or Dream-Takers?
We all have dreams, visions, plans, goals. Some of them we voice to others and some we keep close to our hearts without sharing, but we all have them.
Have you ever shared a dream with someone and then felt as if all the air was sucked out of you when they reacted with a comment like, ‘You can’t do that!’ or ‘That’s impossible!’? We shut down and believe that they know something true about our dream and we move away from it.
Or sometimes we get rebellious and think, ‘I’ll show you! I’ll make it happen.’ And we get caught up in showing them and lose the ‘juice’ of doing it for ourselves.
Think of a dream that you have, maybe even something that might seem impossible but that feels like a dream, a vision of you that you are seeking. Really feel it in your body, in your energy field. Feel how it will feel when it becomes a reality. Ramp up the feeling and smile. It feels so good.
Now remember that feeling and invite anyone with whom you share that dream to share in that feeling. Don’t let anyone deflate you! Don’t let anyone try to steal your dream or say that you can’t do that. Don’t let anyone try to take your dream away from you.
There will be people who want to be your champions, your cheerleaders and who want to help you make your dreams come true. There are others who, for whatever reason, don’t want that. Choose consciously those you allow to surround you. Dream-Makers or Dream-Takers?
This is not about judging others and deeming them lacking or bad. This is about YOU and your choices in life. YOU choose the folks you spend your time and energy inviting into your energy field. YOU choose what you share and what you keep inside. Choose to be with the people who support you, no matter what. Choose to surround yourself with people who will challenge you to grow into the big vision that you have for yourself and your life. Choose to let the others live their lives without trying to influence yours.
The Dream-Takers are probably not being malicious or mean. They are just stuck in their own ‘stuff’ and can’t accept that you choose to dream big, to reach for something beyond what they can see. Their choices aren’t yours. And they are probably operating out of a fear that they then try to project onto you.
Stay courageous. Move in the direction of your dreams, no matter what. If you look around you now and can’t find friends to support you, seek out new friends. Find those who uplift others and hang out with them. Speak to loved ones and share that you want their support as you go ahead to pursue your dreams.
Own your vision. It comes from connecting to your Purpose, to your Soul Mission on Earth. Continue to Dream Big and the support you desire will show up. Stay committed no matter what or who around you tries to take that dream away.
Surround yourself with Dream-Makers! And be one yourself!
MONDAY’S POEM: It is What it is
I am an Enneagram Type 1. This type is sometimes labeled “The Perfectionist.” Anger is often the first emotional response of a Type 1 person. In the Chinese and Taoist approach to “labeling” people they offer a “five-element” system. I am predominantly a “wood-type” person. Anger is often the first emotional response of a Wood-type person. Yes, I have been known to feel and display anger. But what’s the knowing that can be revealed by these systems that point at me with the same label?
My spiritual path coming out of this introspective approach and the tools I use for self-knowing is acceptance. As a perfectionist I need to accept the way things are. As I wood-type I need to learn to be flexible (like a tree bending with the wind). Acceptance, forgiveness, patience and letting go are the key words that I pull into me and work with toward resonance.
It is within this spirit of resonance that I wrote today’s poem:
It is What it is
Acceptance, letting go, realizing
It is what it is.
This is no easy row to hoe,
And yet it is the only path home.
Breath, inhaling deeply, noticing
What is, this natural state.
Open posture, belly breath
And relaxing on this path home.
Choice, accepting, admitting
There are options, nothing’s fixed.
Relaxed, deeply at peace
And knowing this is the path home.
©2014 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
A FRIDAY POEM FROM “RHYTHMS AND CYCLES” – Two Wars?
I prefer not to get involved in politics here on this blog, about the Goddess. But I went back in my archives a few years to find the following poem. It seems as relevant today as when I wrote it; in fact there seem to be more than two wars now. Do we really want to go back into Iraq? Do we know whose side we are on? I would rather be fighting the war against environmental destruction. I would rather honor than horrify the Goddess, Gaia, our Mother. But then I’m a dreamer.
And, yes, this poem does seem to fit the Friday theme of “Rhythms and Cycles.” When will it end?
Two Wars?
The Defense Industry is out of control.
Is there no stopping it?
The arms must be expended:
Sell them, arm the world;
Against?
Shoot them, kill the terrorists;
Enemies?
Humanity is out of control.
Is there no stopping us?
The Earth must be plundered:
Dig for her bones, pump her blood;
Survive?
Burn it, consume everything;
Locusts?
These wars are one war.
The genocide is suicide;
The ecocide is suicide.
We look in the mirror of our
Neighbor’s face, point, pull, shoot
Ourselves.
We look in the mirror of our
Planet’s face, drill, pump, burn
Ourselves.
The Human Race is in a race
Away from itself.
It can only lose.
When the Mother turns her face
Away from us
We can only lose.
This one war cannot be won
By us.
©2014 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
What’s Your Umbrella? – Richard’s Commentary
My “umbrella” has always been work. When I was in the corporate world I worked hard. I traveled a lot. I had responsibilities. I shouldered them well. As I look back on those 40 years I realize that I was often running away from the lessons, the real part of life I needed to learn.
Oh, sure, I needed to earn a living, keep the family secure, move ahead, up the corporate ladder – that’s what we do, right? But at what expense? How many of us escape into our work with these very rational motivations and miss why we are here in the first place, miss our real purpose?
I am retired now, still working hard, enjoying the work a great deal more and, yes, sometimes I still continue to use work as my umbrella. Why? Rosemary hits on one of the reasons:
All you have is NOW. The lessons don’t go away. The Universe wants you to have that success, satisfaction and fulfillment and puts lessons on your path so that you can clear the blocks and achieve your dreams. Why delay that?
It’s usually fear. But the rewards of doing the work, of learning the lessons, are so much greater than the pain of getting there that it’s worth it to start now.
Yes, it’s usually fear. I wrote about this in a post just last Friday, the 13th when I commented on the blocks we face:
I think the main one is fear – fear of letting go completely and relaxing into full awareness.
I believe my main purpose in this life is to become fully aware, to become enlightened. This is not an ego thing; I believe this is the main purpose of every human on the planet. I, at least on some unconscious level, have known this for a long time. And I have escaped from this, from the lessons that would bring me closer to enlightenment, and worked on all the other things humans do: job, family, earning corporate merits, duty, …
But the Universe wants me to have that “success, satisfaction and fulfillment…” The Universe wants us to become enlightened! The lessons are all there, strewn in our path to bring us into the light.
The ego doesn’t get this. The ego would rather escape into work and feed itself with the rewards of a job well done. So the Universe continues to offer the lessons. And I am beginning to listen. Sometimes the lessons are loud; we can only miss them if we continue to distract ourselves with our umbrellas. Sometimes the lessons are whispers. I’m learning to listen more closely.
I’m following the advice I wrote for myself in the June 13 post (link). And I am ready to “happily dance in the rain!”
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: What’s Your Umbrella?
Or, to look at it another way, what are you using to protect you from the storms of life?
As I look out at the heavy rains that are falling, I wonder how often we rush to our raincoats and umbrellas to make sure we don’t get rained on. Metaphorically, we do the same thing. We rush to protect ourselves from whatever is happening around us so that we don’t have to deal with the depths of the implications or meanings.
Sometimes this can be as simple as avoiding making a painful phone call or finding an excuse to procrastinate on handling something complicated. But I also find that it is easy to stay on the surface and avoid digging deeply into the personal growth work that is available to us in the midst of a storm of life.
For example, have you ever had the experience of being in the middle of turmoil in your life and you find yourself searching for the quick fix, the way out, the end to the pain instead of seeking the deeper meaning and the personal lesson that is hiding inside the situation? We’ve all done this, but as we move along our spiritual journey we learn to seek out the deeper lessons and to get those lessons learned before they return in a more insistent way.
That is what they do. The lessons are there for you to learn what you need to learn to grow into your highest self. They are presented in different guises so that you have plenty of opportunities to figure out how to grow from them. And they don’t go away until you really get what you need to learn.
So your choice is always to learn it now or learn it later.
May I give you a piece of advice, based on personal experience? Learn it now. When lessons return because we’ve been hiding out from them they usually come in a more powerful way so that they are sure to get our attention. I jokingly say that I am focused on finding the lessons and learning them when they are subtly appearing without waiting for them to turn into two by fours to the head!
In what ways you are avoiding the work that can advance you on your journey? Are you thinking about doing some journaling but can’t seem to find the time? Would you like to meditate but you don’t want to learn how just yet? Do you know that you are not being as successful, satisfied, fulfilled as you wish and yet you don’t feel ready to get the help that might bring you that success, satisfaction, fulfillment?
All you have is NOW. The lessons don’t go away. The Universe wants you to have that success, satisfaction and fulfillment and puts lessons on your path so that you can clear the blocks and achieve your dreams. Why delay that?
It’s usually fear. But the rewards of doing the work, of learning the lessons, are so much greater than the pain of getting there that it’s worth it to start now.
Get the help. Do the work. Learn the lessons.
And, when the next storm comes, you can happily dance in the rain!
ROSEMARY’S INSPIRATION: What is Your Umbrella?
Rosemary’s “Two-Minute” Video for this Week: What is Your Umbrella?
Blocked? – Richard’s Commentary
It was a bright, sunny day with low humidity and a light breeze – a lovely June day in Maryland. I stopped at the bank on the way home to get some cash for the farmers’ market the next day. Because it was a sunny, bright day I wore my new “reader sunglasses” – sunglasses with a bifocal area for magnification to aid these aging eyes when reading in bright light. I needed to take them off to see the ATM screen at the bank; I placed them on the handy ledge below the machine.
I was halfway home when I realized I wasn’t wearing my sunglasses – my route is shady and the light less bright. I quick search of my many-pocketed vest – my alternative to carrying a purse – turned up empty. Reverse, dash back to the bank – no sunglasses on the ledge. Inside the bank the teller I know by name is free – “did anyone turn in a pair of sunglasses in the last few minutes?” She looks at other tellers and in their lost-and-found area – “no, sorry.”
I am disappointed – mostly in myself. Why these lapses? And when will I listen to my unconscious mind, my intuition? You see, when I placed my sunglasses on that little ledge under the ATM I had a brief glimpse of forgetting them there – just a flash. And I may even have muttered to myself – “don’t forget your sunglasses there.”
If I listened to that voice my unconscious mind heard “forget your sunglasses there.” The unconscious mind does not process negatives. It only hears and processes positive statements – I learned this in hypnosis and NLP training when I went to a few classes with Rosemary when she was earning her certifications.
So, how am I blocked from listening to my intuition, changing my language used in “self-talk” to make only positive statement and become more fully aware, in every moment, of what is going on within me and all around me? And, what do I do about it?
Here’s what Rosemary writes in her post about this subject:
Be grateful for your unconscious mind. It keeps your heart pumping and your brain functioning and your lungs breathing and a whole lot of other processes operating in your life without your having to consciously make things happen. However, that same unconscious mind is operating in ways that can cause patterns and blocks that you might not know consciously, and might not have chosen if you did know, and you struggle with understanding why you can’t get things done or why you seem to be blocked from your successes.
Yes, that seems true for me and does explain the blockage to becoming fully aware so that sunglasses are not lost. Is there a solution to the blocks; a way to move into full awareness?
Rosemary writes: …if you are reading these words, then you are called to continue forward on your path. Take a step in the direction of your dreams. If you feel blocked, if you stumble, rejoice that you are growing. There are ways to see beyond what is holding you back. There are tools to help you and people to support you in your growth.
Another lesson, another growth opportunity. Is this what my lost sunglasses episode is telling me? Here you can imagine hearing a loud groan!
It was just about a year ago (June 28, 2013, as a matter of fact) that I wrote a similar post here titled “Awareness.” In that post I told the Zen tale of Nan-in and Tenno. The master, Nan-in, asked Tenno when he arrived on a rainy day to which side of the door he had placed his umbrella and clogs on entering Nan-in’s house. Tenno could not answer; he studied at the feet of Nan-in for 10 more years to become fully aware!
I guess this means I have another nine years to go, another nine years of practice and study and “lessons in lost sunglasses”!
ROSEMARY’S INSPIRATION: Ask “What’s Holding Me Back?”
Rosemary’s “Two-Minute” Video for this Week: Ask “What’s Holding Me Back?”
PS: Did you get the word that Rosemary’s Possibilities Playshop has moved on the calendar? We have moved it to the Summer Solstice, June 21, 2014. Time: 10:00 AM to 2:00 PM; place: Severna Park, Maryland. Early-bird registration here
The Playshop is your opportunity to break through those blocks!
And if you are not in the Maryland/DC area watch for the opportunity to purchase the digital recordings.
MONDAY’S POEM: Awareness and Action
I published today’s poem here about a year ago. I publish it again as a reminder and as a setup for my post coming on Thursday: a commentary on Rosemary’s article Blocked? and an exploration of my own blocks that seem to hold me in unawareness.
The poem’s reference to Nan-in and Tenno is to a classic Zen story.
Awareness and Action
A million bits of information
Streaming from a thousand sources.
Are you aware of seven or nine?
Your unconscious mind
Absorbs it all!
Awareness is a nebulous thing:
Seven, nine, ten-thousand things
Add to consciousness moment
To moment even as we sleep.
Absorb it all?
Nan-in asks Tenno umbrella to clogs,
Left or right? Ten-thousand bits
Lost in unconsciousness. Ten more
Years of Awareness practice;
Absorb it all!
Practice in Action. It is all
Practice! For what you ask;
How will you ever know
Bliss if you don’t
Absorb it All?
©2013 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
You Are Being Lied To! – Richard’s Commentary
I don’t know about you but I lie to myself all the time. And part of “growing up” is to catch myself doing it, question why, and the underlying beliefs that trigger the lies, and then digging down underneath the beliefs to work on rewiring the neurology or filling in the ruts in the neural pathways that entrenched the beliefs underpinning the lies.
Here’s an example: I use the word “never” a lot! “I will never win that prize.” “I will never figure out a way to stop misplacing my glasses.” “I will never get published.” The “nevers” go on and on.
There seems to be a negative trench in my brain that too often goes to the improbability of something happening rather than to the possibility! Part of this is the way I came into the world, my genetic wiring. And part of it was the way I was raised, the environmental wiring. We all have these vestige neural pathways carved into us; some more deeply than others.
But there is good news here; neuro-biology is examining the “neuro-plasticity” of the human brain and discovering that we can change the way we think. Ruts in the plastic can be worn deeply by repeated thoughts, beliefs, lies. But they can also be modified, filled in, redirected through conscious choice.
This is Rosemary’s whole point in her article about the lies we tell ourselves. And here’s the paragraph that helps me the most:
Now LAUGH!!! Feel how good it feels. You DESERVE to laugh, no matter what is going on in your life, no matter where you are, there is something to laugh about. I just looked out the window at a squirrel trying to get into a squirrel-proof bird feeder. Do you think the squirrel thinks that, just because he can’t get any birdseed out of it, there’s something wrong with him, that he’s not ‘good enough’ to be worthy of food? Heck, no! That squirrel goes around the corner of the house, climbs the tree to the non-squirrel-proof bird feeder, hangs upside down, and eats his fill. Only we humans compare ourselves to some mythological standard and find that we don’t measure up.
There is nothing wrong with me. We all have negative thoughts about ourselves, but these are lies buried in the beliefs we carry that no longer serve us.
I once had an Enneagram teacher ask me: “what if the world is perfect just the way it is?” I was stunned at first. Then I laughed; and I relaxed! Yeah, the world is perfect and I am perfect. The lessons come to help us become more perfect.
One of my lessons is to replace “never” with “sometimes” in my thoughts about myself– and every time I do I get to laugh! Through this practice maybe that “never rut” will begin to fill in. And when it is gone, when that lie disappears maybe I can replace “sometimes” with “always”!
How are you lying to yourself? How are you catching yourself doing it? Find a practice to rewire your neurology; pave over the old ruts and believe in your inner light!
Men and The Goddess 