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MONDAY’S POEM: Fishing
I wrote this yesterday, Fathers’ Day here in the US. I was thinking about my father and his father and our times together. Good times.
Fishing
Fishing with Grandfather
Requires a little boy’s
Patience.
Driving to the stream
Seems endless, boring.
Are we there yet?
Hiking to the hole
Is hot, insects biting.
Is this fun?
Casting a plastic lure
Requires skill, practice.
How’d it tangle?
Learning to be still
Is its own reward.
Was that a nibble?
Letting go of all desire
Is the source of joy.
Reel him in boy!
Fishing for small-mouth
In Otter Creek.
As good as it gets!
©2014 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
Blocked? – Part 2
I know; it’s “poem Firday”. But this business of “blocks” is on my mind.
Yesterday I wrote here about being blocked: blocked from listening to my intuition, from changing my language to speak (and think) in positive terms. And I wrote about practice. After 10 years Tenno became a teacher of Zen; he was practiced. Then Nan-in demonstrated how he was not “fully aware.” So Tenno became his student and practiced another 10 years! And I concluded my post yesterday with …another nine years of practice and study and “lessons in lost sunglasses”!
But practice what? OK, I’ve got 9 more years, probably 10! But what am I to practice; what am I to learn; how do I break through the blocks?
Later yesterday I was in one of my practices: Artist Pages writing as prescribed by Julia Cameron. I am fairly disciplined in writing my “morning pages” (sometimes afternoon); and I really know when I skip that something isn’t quite right with my day. I wrote yesterday and came up with some answers to my blocks; not only what is blocking but how to respond; to break through. Here’s what I wrote:
“I wrote my blog post for Rosemary’s site this morning – on “Awareness” again although the title was about blocks. What are my blocks to “full awareness”?
“I think the main one is fear – fear of letting go completely and relaxing into full awareness. If I let go completely I might lose myself! I am not yet fully willing to let go of the ego – that little self that appears to be so important to me. I have no problem with this for moments – while sitting, while doing Qigong, while writing pages when I merge and let come whatever words flow. Practices like these are easy times to let go. But when I’m at a bank ATM my ego is busy in the forefront – considering a number of choices: what’s my balance, how much cash do I need, what do I want to buy at the market, how long will this nice weather last, on and on…
“The conscious mind, the ego, can only handle 7 to 9 bits of information at one time. The thought of the sunglasses on the shelf gets pushed aside. The ego can’t handle all the information. And I am not practicing standing at the ATM. Why not?
“What if I had stood at the ATM in a relaxed but present Qigong posture? What if I had softened my focus moving into peripheral vision? What if I had remembered to breathe deeply and slowly as when practicing Qigong or sitting on my cushion? Would I have seen the sunglasses and remembered?
“Practice can be constant. And there needs to be no fear in this. If we drop our attention and expand our awareness the ego doesn’t disappear, it simply recedes into the background of the 10-million bits of information being processed by the unconscious mind. It is there, aware, processing its 7 to 9 bits, and content to rest, yet ready to come alive as needed. The “full awareness” is in the unconscious mind lifted out of its obscurity through constant practice.
“Blocks are revealed, recognized and broken through by balancing conscious ego awareness with practiced unconscious access.
“Relax, let go, breathe deeply, sink, broaden, move fully into self and become fully aware of Self.”
I think I have my answers! Now to put them into practice…
Happy Full Moon. Have a good weekend!
Blocked? – Richard’s Commentary
It was a bright, sunny day with low humidity and a light breeze – a lovely June day in Maryland. I stopped at the bank on the way home to get some cash for the farmers’ market the next day. Because it was a sunny, bright day I wore my new “reader sunglasses” – sunglasses with a bifocal area for magnification to aid these aging eyes when reading in bright light. I needed to take them off to see the ATM screen at the bank; I placed them on the handy ledge below the machine.
I was halfway home when I realized I wasn’t wearing my sunglasses – my route is shady and the light less bright. I quick search of my many-pocketed vest – my alternative to carrying a purse – turned up empty. Reverse, dash back to the bank – no sunglasses on the ledge. Inside the bank the teller I know by name is free – “did anyone turn in a pair of sunglasses in the last few minutes?” She looks at other tellers and in their lost-and-found area – “no, sorry.”
I am disappointed – mostly in myself. Why these lapses? And when will I listen to my unconscious mind, my intuition? You see, when I placed my sunglasses on that little ledge under the ATM I had a brief glimpse of forgetting them there – just a flash. And I may even have muttered to myself – “don’t forget your sunglasses there.”
If I listened to that voice my unconscious mind heard “forget your sunglasses there.” The unconscious mind does not process negatives. It only hears and processes positive statements – I learned this in hypnosis and NLP training when I went to a few classes with Rosemary when she was earning her certifications.
So, how am I blocked from listening to my intuition, changing my language used in “self-talk” to make only positive statement and become more fully aware, in every moment, of what is going on within me and all around me? And, what do I do about it?
Here’s what Rosemary writes in her post about this subject:
Be grateful for your unconscious mind. It keeps your heart pumping and your brain functioning and your lungs breathing and a whole lot of other processes operating in your life without your having to consciously make things happen. However, that same unconscious mind is operating in ways that can cause patterns and blocks that you might not know consciously, and might not have chosen if you did know, and you struggle with understanding why you can’t get things done or why you seem to be blocked from your successes.
Yes, that seems true for me and does explain the blockage to becoming fully aware so that sunglasses are not lost. Is there a solution to the blocks; a way to move into full awareness?
Rosemary writes: …if you are reading these words, then you are called to continue forward on your path. Take a step in the direction of your dreams. If you feel blocked, if you stumble, rejoice that you are growing. There are ways to see beyond what is holding you back. There are tools to help you and people to support you in your growth.
Another lesson, another growth opportunity. Is this what my lost sunglasses episode is telling me? Here you can imagine hearing a loud groan!
It was just about a year ago (June 28, 2013, as a matter of fact) that I wrote a similar post here titled “Awareness.” In that post I told the Zen tale of Nan-in and Tenno. The master, Nan-in, asked Tenno when he arrived on a rainy day to which side of the door he had placed his umbrella and clogs on entering Nan-in’s house. Tenno could not answer; he studied at the feet of Nan-in for 10 more years to become fully aware!
I guess this means I have another nine years to go, another nine years of practice and study and “lessons in lost sunglasses”!
ROSEMARY’S INSPIRATION: Ask “What’s Holding Me Back?”
Rosemary’s “Two-Minute” Video for this Week: Ask “What’s Holding Me Back?”
PS: Did you get the word that Rosemary’s Possibilities Playshop has moved on the calendar? We have moved it to the Summer Solstice, June 21, 2014. Time: 10:00 AM to 2:00 PM; place: Severna Park, Maryland. Early-bird registration here
The Playshop is your opportunity to break through those blocks!
And if you are not in the Maryland/DC area watch for the opportunity to purchase the digital recordings.
MONDAY’S POEM: Awareness and Action
I published today’s poem here about a year ago. I publish it again as a reminder and as a setup for my post coming on Thursday: a commentary on Rosemary’s article Blocked? and an exploration of my own blocks that seem to hold me in unawareness.
The poem’s reference to Nan-in and Tenno is to a classic Zen story.
Awareness and Action
A million bits of information
Streaming from a thousand sources.
Are you aware of seven or nine?
Your unconscious mind
Absorbs it all!
Awareness is a nebulous thing:
Seven, nine, ten-thousand things
Add to consciousness moment
To moment even as we sleep.
Absorb it all?
Nan-in asks Tenno umbrella to clogs,
Left or right? Ten-thousand bits
Lost in unconsciousness. Ten more
Years of Awareness practice;
Absorb it all!
Practice in Action. It is all
Practice! For what you ask;
How will you ever know
Bliss if you don’t
Absorb it All?
©2013 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
A FRIDAY POEM FROM “RHYTHMS AND CYCLES” – What Is This?
Today’s poem doesn’t exactly belong in the “Rhythms and Cycles” collection; and yet, the lessons come at us, sometimes in waves. And we have to deal with the lessons as they come. I learned this Koan through an article in Tricycle magazine several years ago and do apply it often when I catch myself in the midst of some crisis (lesson). The practice is to ask this question when something disrupts the flow of life. And when the first answer arises, ask the question again. Continue this cyclic, nested examining, analyzing and asking, spiraling in until a satisfactory answer manifests. Try it the next time you meet up with frustration!
What Is This?
A Koan in the Korean Zen tradition:
When impatience arises ask
What is this?
A question to penetrate to the essence.
When fear stares from the mirror ask
What is this?
A lesson in each waking moment.
When doubt and despair assail ask
What is this?
An offering to self and life and growth.
When wonder and joy abound ask
What is this?
©2014 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
You Are Being Lied To! – Richard’s Commentary
I don’t know about you but I lie to myself all the time. And part of “growing up” is to catch myself doing it, question why, and the underlying beliefs that trigger the lies, and then digging down underneath the beliefs to work on rewiring the neurology or filling in the ruts in the neural pathways that entrenched the beliefs underpinning the lies.
Here’s an example: I use the word “never” a lot! “I will never win that prize.” “I will never figure out a way to stop misplacing my glasses.” “I will never get published.” The “nevers” go on and on.
There seems to be a negative trench in my brain that too often goes to the improbability of something happening rather than to the possibility! Part of this is the way I came into the world, my genetic wiring. And part of it was the way I was raised, the environmental wiring. We all have these vestige neural pathways carved into us; some more deeply than others.
But there is good news here; neuro-biology is examining the “neuro-plasticity” of the human brain and discovering that we can change the way we think. Ruts in the plastic can be worn deeply by repeated thoughts, beliefs, lies. But they can also be modified, filled in, redirected through conscious choice.
This is Rosemary’s whole point in her article about the lies we tell ourselves. And here’s the paragraph that helps me the most:
Now LAUGH!!! Feel how good it feels. You DESERVE to laugh, no matter what is going on in your life, no matter where you are, there is something to laugh about. I just looked out the window at a squirrel trying to get into a squirrel-proof bird feeder. Do you think the squirrel thinks that, just because he can’t get any birdseed out of it, there’s something wrong with him, that he’s not ‘good enough’ to be worthy of food? Heck, no! That squirrel goes around the corner of the house, climbs the tree to the non-squirrel-proof bird feeder, hangs upside down, and eats his fill. Only we humans compare ourselves to some mythological standard and find that we don’t measure up.
There is nothing wrong with me. We all have negative thoughts about ourselves, but these are lies buried in the beliefs we carry that no longer serve us.
I once had an Enneagram teacher ask me: “what if the world is perfect just the way it is?” I was stunned at first. Then I laughed; and I relaxed! Yeah, the world is perfect and I am perfect. The lessons come to help us become more perfect.
One of my lessons is to replace “never” with “sometimes” in my thoughts about myself– and every time I do I get to laugh! Through this practice maybe that “never rut” will begin to fill in. And when it is gone, when that lie disappears maybe I can replace “sometimes” with “always”!
How are you lying to yourself? How are you catching yourself doing it? Find a practice to rewire your neurology; pave over the old ruts and believe in your inner light!
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: You Are Being Lied To!
Have you thought about what you think about? Too often, our thoughts crop up into consciousness and we don’t examine their source or their validity. We think that they are true because we have believed them for so long.
But many times we lie to ourselves based on what we used to believe and we don’t even realize that we are doing it!
Have you ever looked in a mirror and criticized your appearance? Have you ever compared yourself or your life to someone else’s and envied them because you believe that they have more/are better/are more beautiful/lucky/loved than you are? Have you ever felt that you are not ‘good enough’?
You have been lying to yourself! But you can decide TODAY to change that.
We humans have the ability to create a reality that exists only in our own head. Does it really matter that someone told you once that you were ugly, probably because they were jealous of how much better looking they thought you were? And you were both 6 years old. But the 6-year-old you that lives in your unconscious mind still hears the word ‘ugly’ and believes it. You are not ugly! If you are reading these words you are a beautiful Light in the world. Smile! Right this minute, no matter where you are or what you are doing, smile. Beautiful! Even if you feel as if you have nothing to smile about, smile because Rosemary asked you to smile, right now, just as you are.
Now LAUGH!!! Feel how good it feels. You DESERVE to laugh, no matter what is going on in your life, no matter where you are, there is something to laugh about. I just looked out the window at a squirrel trying to get into a squirrel-proof bird feeder. Do you think the squirrel thinks that, just because he can’t get any birdseed out of it, there’s something wrong with him, that he’s not ‘good enough’ to be worthy of food? Heck, no! That squirrel goes around the corner of the house, climbs the tree to the non-squirrel-proof bird feeder, hangs upside down, and eats his fill. Only we humans compare ourselves to some mythological standard and find that we don’t measure up.
We can lie to ourselves and not even realize that we are doing it.
So even if things are not going well for you right now in your life, it is not because you are not worthy of great joy, peace, abundance, love. You might be lying to yourself about the definitions of those words, but you are worthy, you are good enough.
Life brings you a lesson to learn in every situation. You did the best you could do with every situation that you have faced up to now. Congratulations! And you will continue to do the best you can with the resources that you have in every situation that you face.
Now that you have completed a lot of lessons in life, isn’t it time to do the personal growth work to ferret out those old thoughts and beliefs that you decided to believe based on something that happened in your childhood? Does it really matter to you that you were picked last for the kickball team? Are you not good enough because Johnny in first grade said something mean to you? If Mary was jealous of your grades in high school she might have criticized your clothes. Are you going to let that guide you when you go shopping for a new outfit today?
You CAN stop lying to yourself when you discover what those insidious lies are! Do the work to uncover them. Find out, from your unconscious mind, what beliefs pop in that have no place in today’s reality and clear them out. They are blocking you from manifesting your magnificence in this amazing 21st Century!
No more lies! You are beautiful, worthy, good enough, amazing and lovable! And if the person in the mirror has trouble believing that, then tell them that, “Rosemary says so, and she doesn’t lie!”
ROSEMARY’S INSPIRATION: You Are Being Lied To!
Rosemary’s “Three-Minute” Video for this Week: You Are Being Lied To!
MONDAY’S POEM: The Unfamiliar
I sense we are in a transition period. I’m feeling a bit betwixt and between. We are just moving into June; spring seems behind us, yet it’s not yet summer. Some graduations are behind us, yet, many are still in school. We are well into the New Moon, yet it is just now showing on the Western horizon just after Sunset.
It is within this transitory energy that I came across a poem I wrote under similar circumstances several months ago. If you are feeling a little unsettled, perhaps approaching some as yet unknown transition, you too may resonate with this.
The Unfamiliar
Different, strange,
Dark, peculiar,
Low energy,
Unfamiliar.
Rest in this new
Environment.
Take it easy,
Let it ferment.
Adjustments come
To all who wait.
There is no rush,
Just hesitate.
Relax, just be;
There’s time to know
And when it’s right,
There’s time to go.
©2014 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
Men and The Goddess 