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Adjusting Our Tolerance Levels
In yesterday’s post I wrote about tolerance and my view of what tolerance, what we come to tolerate, means. As a follow-up I want to explore today how to set those tolerance levels for optimum effect and performance.
Why? Because when we tolerate things to an extreme it drains our energy. When we are lax in our standards, when we tolerate something beyond a reasonable level it saps our strength; it depletes our ability to cope and to move through life with ease. And we may overlook important lessons if our allowances are too lenient.
But there is another side to this tolerance coin as I mentioned yesterday. We can also set our levels too high, our expectations too demanding to the point of spending too much energy holding ourselves and others to that high standard. Again, we lose energy, in this case actively.
So, where’s the balance? How do we determine the best level of tolerance in a given situation? This goes to the heart of values. We first assess our values, list them and prioritize them. For our highest values we establish an approach to live by those values. And we set boundaries around these values (we may even do this subconsciously based on our life history, family of origin, socialization, beliefs, etc.). The boundaries become our measures of tolerance, both for ourselves and others.
Here’s an example: I was outraged a few days ago when I learned through a news report that three US Congressional Representatives, led by Michele Bachmann, traveled to Egypt and made a speech about the turmoil there and praising the Egyptian military for its actions to overthrow the elected government. They did not have their facts straight, they did not speak well, stumbling over their words, and their general demeanor seemed typical of the superior, high-handed western approach. I had to bite my tongue not to explode in reaction to this total misrepresentation of facts, American ideals and me as an American. Did I expend too much energy on this? Certainly! Why? Because I set my standards too high for politicians these days. Let’s be real: there is a very good reason that our US Congress has one of the lowest levels of approval in history!
OK, so what do I do about this? I have several choices: 1) stop believing that the representatives in the US Congress actually represent me; 2) stop expecting these representatives, and senators, to have much in the way of standards; 3) relax my standards on what it means to be a) an American b) an elected representative c) a politician d) a participant in a democratic experiment; and 4) lower or even remove the notion that living in a republic is a useful value!
Sorry that sentence got a little complicated but I think you get my drift here. I can lower my expectations of how I think a member of the US Congress should behave, especially internationally, and save a lot of wasted emotional energy worrying and railing about it!
I use this example to illustrate my approach to the process. I chose a value of lower priority in my scheme of life to keep it light. My practices, on the other hand, are high on my priority list. And I spend a lot of energy on these practices. They keep me both grounded and connected to what is real. They offer me a way to assess and reassess these values that are so important as a gauge to adjusting my tolerance levels. Values change with the flow and evolution of life and consciousness. Tolerance levels rise and fall with lessons learned.
Do your practices help you adjust your tolerance levels? Do you have a way to assess your values and apply them consciously to the events in your life? What is your approach?
I Am Tolerating WHAT???!!! – Richard’s Commentary
Tolerance, a “permissive attitude”, can be a lackadaisical approach to life or it can be a philosophy and intentional approach to life. Which is it? Maybe it can be both.
Tolerance in a carefully machined automobile part is the amount of deviation from a standard that can be allowed for the part to function properly. In this example machining the part further to comply with a tighter than needed tolerance would take more time and energy and would not necessarily improve the functionality of the part. A more relaxed tolerance in this case can save energy rather than expend more energy.
Personally I can tolerate a certain amount of dust on a windowsill or a few dust bunnies under the bed; if I vacuum the rug every two weeks rather than every week I am saving myself time and a bit on the electric bill. The tolerance level here is the amount of deviation from perfection that balances the energy saved with the energy expended on accepting the deviation.
If you are a parent, how much do you tolerate from your kids? Do you have a “permissive attitude” toward their behavior? And how far do you allow that permission to extend? Again, energy can be a measure here: the energy you spend on parenting can be balanced by the energy the children spend on testing the boundaries of your tolerance. They are busy learning about those boundaries and you must be busy setting them so they learn how to be balanced, creative, socially adapted individuals.
And then there are the personal boundaries that we develop and evolve as we grow and mature, learn and expand consciously. These boundaries form the tolerances in our lives. Some are external; they involve our family, friends, community, even country. Some people choose to leave their country of origin because they can no longer tolerate the living circumstances, whether those are political, religious, social, or economic factors. And then there are the internal boundaries, the tolerance levels we set up as standards for our own behavior and how we live life within those standards, or values. It is these values around which we balance the energy we expend on maintaining our adherence to those standards versus the energy drain from letting down our guard and giving in to a lower standard.
As an example one of my standards, a practice, is to write three longhand pages of text everyday, early in the day, preferably first thing in the morning. This is a practice I adopted from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I have been doing this for years, and I find it very worthwhile. It is a way for me to meditate, to journal, to dump the cobwebs from my psyche, to rail at the Universe, to give thanks to the universe, to channel the divine. I love this practice. Do I do it every day, first thing in the morning? No. Clearly there are things that get in the way, that disrupt this practice. This morning I am writing this blog post first before my pages. Lately I’ve been eating some breakfast before my pages. These are tolerances that I can live with; energy spent obsessing about always writing the pages first is not balanced by the positive effect of the writing. On the other hand there are some days I miss writing altogether. When I occasionally miss one day it seems to be OK, I can tolerate that. But when two or more days go by and I fail to get to mypages, I begin to notice the effects: I get more irritable, less tolerant! Then the balance tips in the direction of energy drained from me that is out of balance with energy spent in writing the pages.
How do you measure your tolerance levels? Do you do this consciously? Are you aware when your boundaries are crossed and your energy drained? It’s good to think about your boundaries so you can maximize your energy levels and live fully, in the present.
Now I’m going to write those pages!
ROSEMARY’S INSPIRATION: What Are You Tolerating?
Rosemary’s “Two-Minute” video for the week: What Are You Tolerating?
PS: Are you ready to unlock the mysteries you carry? Do you want to hear mystic messages specifically for you? Apply for a FREE Discovery Session with Rosemary! Apply Here
Monday’s Poem: The Moon
We had a New Moon in Virgo last week, the subject of a couple of my posts. And as I mentioned I am fond of tracking and very attuned to the moon. Grandmother has been the subject and object of many poets through the ages. I am not immune to her pull on my inner waters! So, to celebrate her waxing time, I offer this:
The Moon
The moon waxes
Reminding us of the
Fullness of time.
The moon climbs
Reminding us of the
Need for effort.
The moon shines
Reminding us of our
Inner work.
The moon wanes
Reminding us that our
Fullness ends.
The moon sets
Reminding us of the
Need for rest.
The moon hides
Reminding us of the
Inner dark.
©2013 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
Happy Birthday to YOU!!! – Richard’s Commentary
And I can also say Happy Birthday to the Moon today! She is new in Virgo. This just occurred at 7:38 am Eastern time.
Do you celebrate the New Moon each “moonth”? Are you aware of the phases of the moon and her travels through the night sky? The Ancients paid a great deal of attention to this goddess of the heavens. She lighted the way of night travelers, guided the seasons and times to plant, provided a calendar, effected tides and seafaring, and offered a rhythm to life and the basis of myth and wonder.
From modern research we know that life would be very different, if it existed at all, if it weren’t for our moon. Her influence on the planet and our lives is profound. So, I pay a lot of attention to her phases and my interaction with her. If you’ve been reading my posts for a while you’ll know, for example, that I cast an I Ching Gua (a hexagram of yin and yang lines) at each new moon to divine an energy for the up-coming month. (I’ll post that tomorrow.) I also celebrate the new moon as a new beginning, as a birthday of sorts, very much in keeping with Rosemary’s message this week. So, on this new moon day consider her advice:
Happy Birthday to YOU!!! Today is your birthday. You get to choose who you are today, right now, in this moment. You don’t even have to be the same as you were when you woke up this morning. OR you can decide that you like the YOU who woke up and you re-decide to celebrate YOU! Either way, it’s your birthday today.
It is a good time to start something new. I’m going to plant some fall vegetables in my garden today. And Rosemary and I are going to review our business plan and model to determine what’s working and what can be improved. It’s a new day as well as a new moon!
And this new moon is in the sign of Virgo. This too has special meaning. A dear friend and astrologer, Gloria Hesseloff, titled in her newsletter for the New Moon: Work is Love made Visible, using a line from a poem by Kahil Gibran. The Virgo Moon calls us to a higher work. Gloria writes:
Virgo energy challenges you to release any obstacles to finding your sacred work. Integrating this goal with the radical changes that Pluto and Uranus are demanding of us right now, ask yourself, “What changes do I need to make to my daily life routines and patterns (Virgo attributes) so I can be an instrument of the Divine?
Virgo energy asks you to become highly competent in a skill that is of value to others. Then generously offer it as your high service. Your specific gifts are truly needed at this significant moment in history.
Today is your birthday! Celebrate with me as I celebrate this New Moon and “the first day of the rest of my life”! We are always at choice. I choose to make my love visible through my work.
ROSEMARY’S INSPIRATION: Today is Your Birthday!
Rosemary’s “Two-Minute” video for the week: Today is Your Birthday!
Natural Language and the Power to Channel
In yesterday’s post I wrote about Natural Language as the language of the heart, a language that is accessed and used for inner searching and to listen for inner guidance. It is the language of poetry. It is the language of Natural or Indigenous peoples.
And on Wednesday evening Rosemary and I listened to the coverage of the 50th Anniversary Commemoration of the “March on Washington” for which Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his landmark “I have a dream” speech; a speech many people recognize as the most powerful and certainly effective speeches of the 20th Century! We not only heard and watched Dr. King deliver this speech in its entirety, we also listed to a lot of commentary on the speech and the commemoration of that speech and march. And once again we were both moved to tears at the power of it and the heart-centered nature of it.
It was a “natural speech”! The poetry, the cadence, the rhythm, the truth of the speech is spellbinding. And if you have never heard it or watched Dr. King deliver it, by all means look for it!
We both learned something new about this speech Wednesday evening as we heard Dr. King’s lawyer, who had suggested parts of it, interviewed. He reported that the latter part of the speech, The Dream sequence, was not part of the speech Dr. King had written to deliver! It was extemporaneous!
Clearly Dr. King was using natural language when he delivered that speech. He “tapped in” to some other realm to find and choose the words and speak them so eloquently. Rosemary and I believe he channeled that speech. At the end of the evening Wednesday we watched the recording again. And you can see the change. For the first several paragraphs of the speech, Dr. King refers frequently to the written words. He hesitates a bit here and there. He even seems a little uncomfortable reading the words and sticking to the text. And then he says, eyes raised to the crowd: “I have a dream.” And from that point on he moves comfortably into a pattern and a rhythm that will stand for all time as one of the greatest moments in oratory history.
How is this possible? Where did the words come from? Dr. King channeled them! They were given to him through some mysterious and mystical connection and he had the courage to say them. He opened his big heart and his deep consciousness and let the words come through.
And I think this is one of the greatest examples of the use of natural language I can imagine.
What do you make of Dr. King’s speech from that era? Does it give you “shivers” even today? I am so grateful to MSNBC for taking the time and having the courage to air this speech. For me it was both memorable and eye opening to the power and grace of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
The Language of Being the Natural YOU – Richard’s Commentary
In Rosemary’s article this week she channels The Divine Feminine who quote a favorite line of the followers of The Law of Attraction and their key premise: “Energy flows where attention goes.” Then Rosemary explains that attention is thought and thought is governed by language. Therefore to be who we came here to be, we need to use the language we came here to use to think natural thoughts, to express ourselves using natural language, to adhere to natural beliefs in order to manifest our natural selves.
I like this word natural very much. There are many associations I have with this word, like nature, native, indigenous. One of my teachers, Martín Prechtel, claims that one of our main goals is to become a natural human being: one who belongs where they were, fits their environment, lives a natural life. He also teaches that a good way to begin to understand how to live a natural life is to learn an indigenous language, especially one that does not use the verb form “to be.”
And this brings me full circle to my posts last week about the concept of time and how natural people typically have a very different relationship with time than “western people” with their heavy reliance on the Indo-European language use of the to-be verb form.
So, what is this natural language Rosemary urges us to adopt in order to get in touch with the inner light that we are? Do we all have to learn an indigenous language that does not rely on “to be”? Or is there an easier way?
When I ask myself questions like this I find myself almost naturally going inside to seek answers. And when I go there long enough answers usually come bubbling up.
Of course when I do this I am following Rosemary’s advice explicitly! She says: “The Natural You is the being at your core, that center of Light that can brighten the world for others. Put your attention here. Focus on your BEING, not what you are DOING.”
But notice she is using the to-be verb forms here in this very suggestion! An interesting irony. Nevertheless her point is clear. And what I conclude is this naturallanguage is the language of being. We speak this language when we meditate, when we go inside. We use this language not so much to express thoughts as to let thoughts go. We use this language when we touch our true nature, that light-being at our core. We use this language when we speak to God, or whatever expression for the Eternal appeals. We use this language when we speak from the heart. Poets use this language when they are at their best.
This natural language is easy enough to learn. But it is very difficult to perfect. It takes a lifetime of practice to get it right. We can all speak it as natives. But few become fluent. The world would be an awesome place; it would be “Heaven on Earth” if we all strove to perfect our use of our natural language!
And, yes, this is a belief I hold. I express this belief in an Indo-European language using the to-be form here: “would be.” My natural language is not a written language. It is difficult to find written examples except in rare instances of near perfect poems and certain stories of the heart. I have heard some of those stories, translations of stories from natural people, like stories Martín Prechtel tells.
Do you speak a natural language? How do you get in touch with your inner light? How do you express your beliefs that guide you through this world? This is your natural language.
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: The Language of Being the Natural YOU
Today’s message starts with guidance, and then I’ll comment.
“Dear Ones,
Energy flows where attention goes.
This is a familiar phrase to many. But the part that many do not know is that language directs the attention that the energy follows.
This is why a worrier can create such havoc in their life. They talk about their worries (attention) and the energy flows into the possibility that manifests that reality containing the worried-about-events.
Language, then, becomes the focuser of attention.
Language is also a component of thought. You think in a language that describes a picture or a quality or an event. Choosing language carefully, even in thought, is very important.
This is especially important when communicating with another person. The language you use creates a response in the other person. Is the energy flowing between the two of you as you wish or is your choice of language communicating something different to the receiver?
When you keep your thoughts focused on that which you desire to manifest, and you choose your language carefully to support that direction, then the energy to manifest will follow the path of your attention to manifest your desires.
This path also works to manifest your worries, if that is where your thoughts go.
You choose.
And so it is.”
Rosemary’s Commentary:
As we reiterate that ‘energy follows attention,’ we have to examine not only our thoughts, worries, speech but also the source of those thoughts, worries, speech. These originate from our self-concept, our beliefs about who we are.
If you find yourself focusing on your faults, your deservedness (or unworthiness), your lack of direction or confidence in your next step, then you are sending energy to maintain that fault, feeling of unworthiness or confusion.
Catch yourself using the language of what you ARE NOT and change it to WHO YOU REALLY ARE!
Much of my client time is spent helping them to find a new way of languaging what they are saying. Just shifting from ‘either-or’ thinking to ‘and’ thinking can make a huge difference. But it’s the subtleties of the choice of language that can really trip you up.
Each of us puts up a persona to the world as if we have donned a mask to hide behind. But who are we REALLY?
You are not what you lack or worry about. You are a great Light in the world shining only as brightly as you energize that Light.
The Natural You is the being at your core, that center of Light that can brighten the world for others. Put your attention here. Focus on your BEING, not what you are DOING.
Energize the Light that you already are!
This is the Natural You. Speak, think, believe ONLY the language of the Being of Light that is the real YOU.
Language will focus the attention that allows the energy to flow and brighten your Light!
PS: Through the month of Rosemary’s birthday, August, she is offering a very special price on a Reading with her: $65! Get help with direction, with next steps, with living more naturally, in the moment. This special expires August 31. Purchase Here
ROSEMARY’S INSPIRATION: Go Natural!
Rosemary’s “Two-Minute” video for the week: Go Natural!
PS: Do you want to simplify your life? Are you ready to live a more natural way? You can get guidance from the other side to help you with this! There are only a few days remaining for Rosemary’s very special price on a Reading with Rosemary! This special ends with August. Purchase Here
Men and The Goddess 