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Self-Forgiveness as a form of Self-Love
In yesterday’s post I responded to Rosemary’s exploration about Self-Love – how it feels. And I touched on forgiveness as a way of letting go, freeing oneself of bonds that constrict one’s growth and interfere with Self-Love which in turn interferes with one’s ability to love at all!
Then it hits; the lesson! It seems that as soon as I begin to think deeply about something I get hit with the exact lesson to drive home the understanding! Yesterday we were under time-pressure to finalize Rosemary’s class for that evening, to put together the presentation and collect all the materials. Then the printer indicated low ink supply, so it was off to Staples for more. But here’s the thing: we had received a big discount offer in the mail earlier in the week; I planned to use it for more ink. The discount could only be used online but I did not get a chance to get the order placed. And now we needed ink immediately. I stormed out of the house, hair on fire with the time-crunch foremost in my mind, and raced off to get the additional supplies. Then to compound an already harried day, I left material behind when we raced off to the class. More rushing, now we are late, more storming around!
It’s tough to reach into Self for some Love under these circumstances! It can only start with forgiveness!
The lessons here are multi-layered but the main one is Self-forgiveness. I had intended to order the ink. But the week was busy and it didn’t get done. As it turned out I didn’t even need the ink yet; the printer only sent me a warning. Everything turned out fine, the class was a great success and my hair didn’t really catch on fire! And now I even have a story to base this post on!
I am calm now. And I did learn something today, again, that’s very important: every moment is a learning experience, or at least an opportunity. If we pause in the moment and ask: “What is this?” even in the midst of the chaos and flaming hair, then we can begin the learning process. If we get angry, impatient, frustrated, and harried there is no room for learning, and likely, no peace, no calm, no Love! But it is not an easy practice to stop in the midst of the chaos, deadlines, time-constraints and frustrating interruptions to ask: “What is this?” Yet, this is the lesson and this is why we are here!
And at the end of the day I even have to look back and forgive myself for not only my impatience and anger, but the failed practice! It just keeps on compounding!
But isn’t this what “practice” is all about? If it is no longer practice, then we would not need to be here. Our purpose will have been fulfilled.
For now I’m just going to keep on practicing. Self-forgiveness is a very big and necessary action for those of us with a lot of Wood Element in our make-up. This is a reference to the main element type, of five, that I resonate with from Dr. Charles Moss’ work: Power of the Five Elements. I am nearly finished with the book, a fantastic reference for anyone interested in Chinese Medicine, the Tao, acupuncture and health. (I will review the book here once I have finished my detailed read of it.) Here is just a sample of why this book is helping with my practice:
“Forgiveness and patience, the Virtues associated with the Wood Type, come from the vision and insight of the Wood energy. These Virtues can neutralize frustration, anger, impatience, and hostility (the toxic emotions and actions of the poorly adapted Wood Type) and create a path back to adaptation.”
My practice continues to transform the toxic emotions into these Virtues, to create a path to adaptation, or what Dr. Moss calls “knowing how to be.”
What Does Self-Love Look Like? –Richard’s Commentary
“Love creates. Love bonds. Love attracts and holds securely. Love frees. Love develops and Love lets go. Love releases bonds that no longer serve.”
When I first read Rosemary’s “litany” about Love, Paul’s letter to the Corinthians came to mind, that often used text in Christian weddings: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (Quoted from the NIV Bible published by Zondervan.)
While these lists of what Love looks like are superficially very different, they certainly are parallel. Rosemary’s list is about creation and development. There are bonds in Love but those bonds need to serve, not hinder growth. And Paul’s description of Love can certainly apply to creative development, growth. His words almost more appropriately apply to the Love between parent and child; there is a definite paternal quality to his list which likely reflected his feelings toward the Corithians.
Then how do these descriptions of Love apply to Self-Love, the main topic of Rosemary’s post? Creation and development are key in Rosemary’s list. And I believe this is very true for Self-Love to grow and flourish. As humans we can never stop growing, Life is about learning our lessons. And these lessons are all about the evolution of Consciousness. The explosive creation of the Universe, out of Love, initiated this entire evolutionary expansion we find ourselves in the midst of. If we were loved into existence then isn’t it incumbent on us to continue that love-stream?
Then look at what Paul says in the context of Self-Love: it is all about development, growth of a child. What if we apply these actions of patience, kindness, recording no wrongs toward ourselves? This creates an environment for learning our lessons, for expanding our consciousness and contributing to the evolution of Consciousness.
Paul’s and Rosemary’s litanies about Love turn out to be highly parallel and mutually supportive!
And what if we treat ourselves as they both implore? Rosemary says “Love releases bonds that no longer serve.” And Paul says Love “keeps no record of wrongs.” These words are describing forgiveness. And, for me, Self-Love and self-forgiveness are closely bound. There can’t be one without the other. I can only love myself from the capacity to forgive myself. And I can only forgive myself from that secure base of Self-Love.
When I am feeling low I sometimes need to drag out that “record of wrongs” I keep on myself and remember they are past wrongs that I need to let go; I need to release those “bonds that no longer serve.” This is a recurring theme for me; forgiving myself is at the base of picking myself up by my own bootstraps.
“Love is kind, it is not rude, it is not easily angered.” “Love frees.” I need to apply these words to me, often and always. Then perhaps I’ll more easily know what Self-Love does look like. And then, too, I’ll be contributing more to the evolution of Consciousness!
What does Self-Love look like for you?
Monday’s Poem: Consensus Reality?
With the Spring Equinox coming this week my mind is on balance. I selected this poem for eqinox-Monday in a wistful recall of what once was “fair and balanced”!
Consensus Reality?
Perception is reality.
Mine or yours?
Consensus seems quite thin
These days.
Who’s right, who’s up, who’s in?
Adjustment is needed now.
Ours or theirs?
Who’s ready to give in
These days?
Not us, not them, no win.
Balance seems a thing long gone;
Fairness need not apply.
Maat is sorely stressed
These days.
Consensus fails the test!
©2013 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
Are You Expecting? –Richard’s Commentary
The possibilities are endless! And this is exactly what I was hoping for. So, yes, I’m expecting some wonderful possibility to emerge this Spring! What about you?
This past Saturday I passed my Level 1 Qigong evaluation and am now certified to teach Jeff Primack’s base level of his Qi Revolution. Jeff’s goal is to expand the number of teachers of Qigong in the US; he is a true believer in this ancient form of exercise. And it has been pretty clearly documented as a superior approach to health and longevity. Here’s just one citation:
“In the early 1980′s, scientists in China began to study the medical benefits claimed for qigong. Since then, research on hundreds of medical applications of qigong have been reported in the Chinese literature. Of special interest … are clinical reports of the medical benefits of qigong that claim to retard or reverse some diseases associated with aging.”
–Kenneth Sancier Ph. D.
And here is an excellent definition of Qigong by Dr. Kathleen Hall:
“Qigong is an ancient Chinese practice that creates health by balancing the chi, or vital energy, in your body. Qigong is about discovering one’s true balance.
“Kaiser Permanente, the largest health maintenance organization (HMO) in the country, offers Qigong to their patients. They report they began Qigong with their chronic pain patients and had such great results they are now providing these classes for all health care plan members.”
With teachers and practitioners like Jeff Primack beginning to spread the word I think we will soon be seeing Qigong everywhere.
I’ve been practicing two forms of Qigong for about a year now. And I can honestly say I feel great, I have lost weight, I am sleeping well, and I feel much less stressful about life than I did a year ago.
And now the challenge begins. I am motivated to get started and only need to set up a class, gather some interested students and get going, right? Well, maybe it’s not that simple; but I do have a plan and “I am expecting” to step out in confidence and begin to bring this ancient longevity technology to as many people as I can reach.
This is part of my Spring break-out. Do you have a plan? It’s a great time of the year to review, revise and refresh your activities and assess your direction. Do an internal check on your health; 
Rosemary and I suggest doing a scan of all of your bodies, the physical, of course, and your emotional, mental and spiritual bodies as well. Remember this diagram we published a few months ago?
Do you feel blockage anywhere? In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) “When your chi is blocked or stagnant you get sluggish, slow and can experience illness.” (Dr. Hall) And since Qi is vital energy it can block more than just the physical body. Qigong can release these blocks to relieve the sluggish “hang-over” from winter and provide just the spring-tonic needed to revitalize and nourish.
I have found that Qigong supports all four levels of the body. The movement and breath work are physically beneficial, the meditative aspects of Qigong support both the emotional and mental bodies, and throughout the practice there is a flow and connection to the divine that is deeply spiritual and truly inspiring.
This spring, try something new. Look for Qigong in your area. Give it a go; I think you’ll appreciate it!
And all the best with that!
PS: In honor of the Equinox next week Rosemary is offering a Spring Cleaning Special – a big discount on your Scientific Hand Analysis Session — $100 off! This is the time to learn about your Soul Purpose and the gifts you’ve been given to manifest that Purpose in your life. If you’re ready to leap forward and take advantage of those expectations then send Rosemary an email and she’ll give you the discount code for your Scientific Hand Analysis Session. Get your Spring Cleaning done by clearing away the questions you have about ‘Why am I here?’ and ‘What are my next steps?’! rosemary@TheScientificMystic.com
Need more information on Scientific Hand Analysis? Find it here!
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Are You Expecting?
Are you ‘pregnant with possibilities’?
The Universe is filled with the potential of answering every dream you can dream for yourself. But what are you expecting?
The energies of attraction are not focused like a laser when they are generated from the emotion of fear. You can’t be worried and manifesting your dreams at the same time, for the laser that you send out like a beacon, attracting like energy into your field, is a laser tuned to that upon which you focus your worry energy, not the energy of your dream.
You do have the power to attract a nightmare but why would you?
When people start studying prosperity and the law of attraction they often do exercises to change their expectations. Recently our daughter started expecting the Universe to give her money. She found a dollar on a store parking lot and sat waiting for the person who had dropped it to return but no one did. She found several dollars in the dryer when she did the laundry. Magic? No. She EXPECTED the Universe to find a way to be generous with her and then she ALLOWED the Universe to choose how to do that.
I often teach that prosperity can come into your field in surprising ways when you are open to it. One way that the Universe gives me money is to have a sale on something that I have to buy. I was going to buy it anyway but I can save money that I would have spent. This just happened for the Color Class that I am teaching. We had selected the binder we wanted to give participants and had found one that came in lots of colors [this IS for a Color Class!]. We developed the prototype workbook with one binder then went back to purchase a larger quantity when we had the final numbers for the class. The binders were on sale and they had all the colors in stock!
This doesn’t represent a lot of money saved but it was going to have to be spent anyway. We expect the Universe to give to us in surprising ways.
What do you expect from your business? Your boss? Your significant other? Your children? Are you expecting challenges, threats, anger, disrespect? And are you getting that?
How adaptable are you to change? Are you willing to ‘go with the flow’?
Sometimes we get so stuck in our expectations that we forget to adapt to changing circumstances or energies. Have you ever thought about changing your expectations? Are you willing to change?
I knew someone who had a business and lost her business partner so was faced with only being able to pay half the rent. It was time to renegotiate the lease and she thought she might have to move. Instead, she focused on staying in the same space and paying half the rent. She focused and prayed and concentrated and expected this. She came out of the meeting with the landlord with a lease at half the rent for the next year! It CAN happen!
Are you, at this point, telling yourself that this only happens for other people, that it doesn’t work that way for you? As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.”
Trying being ‘pregnant with possibilities.’ Think that you CAN manifest your dreams. EXPECT the Universe to support you in that manifestation. Then go with the flow and allow the Universe to figure out the ‘how’ of making things happen.
Let this week be your ‘due date’ – expect great things!
PS: Rosemary did an interview with BlogTalkRadio program, Explore the Afterlife, the other day. You can listen to the recording here!
New Moon in Pisces; New I Ching Gua
The Moon emerged from conjunction with the Sun at 3:51 pm EDT on Monday. I like to do an I Ching reading on the New Moon to see what energies might have influence over the coming month (or Moonth as it was once known). The Gua I cast using the traditional yarrow stalk method contained three changing lines! Maybe this is appropriate since we are approaching spring here in the Northern Hemisphere and with the Sun moving toward Aries there is always new beginnings, growth, change. Here is the first Gua:
This is Jie/Relief.
The second, third and forth lines were all moving; to avoid confusion I selected the middle line to read as the changing line. It was a yin, six which then changes to a yang line to create the approached Gua:
This is Heng/Long Lasting.
So, what does any of this mean? First, from the last New Moon my Yi moved from “Hindrance” to “Watching” – see my February 11 post. In mid-February I did feel stuck; we were in the mid-winter doldrums so this made some sense to me. Then I could “watch” for opportunities to come along to make changes, to break free of the stuck-ness!
Along came Qi Revolution with Jeff Primack on February 16 and I went; I definitely felt the change, the break out!
Now for this month I get some “relief.” But with that changing line at the third position I need to be attentive to the work; there is no time to let down now. This is directly related to my Qigong practice. As the I Ching says, I need to remain “steadfast and upright” in this practice for it to be effective; otherwise I could lose it.
Then “long lasting” comes into play. This is a propitious Gua. Sincerity, purity and unselfishness are demanded (more about my practice).
The form of this Gua is Thunder (the top trigram) over Wind (the lower trigram). This is a very natural occurrence, and therefore is auspicious. It can represent marriage or partnership with “firm” over “gentle.” And it is favorable to have somewhere to go.
Some warnings also go with this Gua: “never over-react and hold to the central path”; good advice for any partnership! This is an excellent Gua with great news as we approach the Spring Equinox. It is time to move forward with plans; the elements and Heaven and Earth are in alignment. It’s time to move ahead with all possible good intention and energy.
Here’s what Confucius wrote as the main theme of this Gua:
Sun and moon rely on the Tao of Heaven;
Thus can their shining be long lasting.
The four seasons change and transform;
Thus can their production of beings long endure.
The holy sage remains long lasting in his way of life;
Then all things under Heaven are transformed to completion.
Contemplate the Tao of Long Lasting,
To see the nature of Heaven and Earth and of all beings.
[from The Complete I Ching by Taoist Master Alfred Huang]
This divining of the energies for the next four weeks fits very well with my plans and intentions. I hope you can find some relevance in this reading for you and where you are headed!
MONDAY’S POEM: Qigong Level 1 Instruction
This past weekend I went through a certification process for teaching Qigong at Level 1 in Jeff Primack’s Qi Revolution Movement. And I passed the test! Wow, hurray, I am a Certified Level 1 Qigong Instructor! In celebration of this accomplishment (there are only a couple thousand of us in the whole country!) I wrote this:
Qigong Level 1 Instruction
Breathe in,
Expand.
Breathe out,
Contract.
Inhale,
Larger.
Exhale,
Smaller.
Breath first,
Then act.
Feel
The Qi.
Breathe in,
Raise arms.
Breathe out,
Relax.
Inhale,
Round arms.
Exhale,
Hug tree.
Breathe first,
Then move.
Actions
Are slow.
Inhale,
Rise up.
Exhale,
Lower.
Building
The Qi
Higher,
Stronger.
Live long,
Prosper,
Feel
The Peace.
©2013 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
Join the revolution! Feel the Qi! May you all be blessed with abundance!
Fatigue and Qi
It was an exhausting day yesterday. Once again I had too many priorities to juggle. But at least everyone was back at work so there was some quiet time to move into the day. However, I did feel my thorns coming out on a few occasions; I worked hard to shed them!
It was final prep time for Rosemary’s Rainbow Balance Color Therapy class. I knew it would be a long day and was as prepared for it as I could be. We had all the materials, we had already begun the assembly process and the presentation contents were coming together well. While I wasn’t worried about time I knew I didn’t have any to spare.
I had thought I would go about my normal morning routine: morning tonic and hot tea, shower, pages, smoothie, qigong, etc. But, I made a mistake and sat at my computer to determine the day’s schedule and must dos before the evening’s class. And one thing led to another.
Nine hours later we grabbed a nibble and headed to class. Yes, most of those things that can go wrong did. And, no, none of those things I had planned my morning around happened. Did this upset me? Yes, it did.
Let’s just take Qigong as one part of my practice: after Qi Revolution with Jeff Primack a couple of weeks ago, I committed to practicing his Level 1 Form daily for 30 days. I did not enter into this agreement lightly. And I am working on my certification to teach this Level; practice is mandatory! Certification is two days away!
No practice, inadequate intake of food, no chance to really catch my breath. Everything for the class got done on time, and all turned out well. Rosemary and I even had fun with colors discovering a neat website that converts just about any kind of color code you can think of, from RGB codes to the paint manufacturers’ codes, etc!
After a successful class it was time to publish the weekly MuseLetter. Oh, yes, there was more to my priority list. And the content had not been completed for that yet either. Rosemary set to work writing…
And I got my Qigong practice in!
Then I went back to work.
So, why am I telling you all of this? From my article yesterday you can probably guess that I can get pretty prickly at times; my thorns can be sharp. But I’m working hard to trim them, to contain my energy, control it and be in the flow of the Qi. And I think it’s working. I’m not saying all was smooth; computers acted up, the printer crashed several times, the network was slow, our high-speed connection was neither at times. But we got through it and even laughed as good old Murphy stepped in to scramble our printer’s brain!
My Qigong practice is working. And now, late at night as I write I feel good about this. I am breathing, deeply, into my core. I am reaching down and out to gather, then drawing it back to deliver. The movements of the practice are etching themselves more deeply into my neural nets that are controlling it all. I wonder if my practice is beginning to show up in the lines of my hands! (I’ll have to have Rosemary take a look!)
So I close out the week feeling accomplished. I think my thorns are tucked away for now.
But you better confirm that with Rosemary!
Are You the Rose or the Thorn? – Richard’s Commentary
I write this on a nasty, stormy day here in the East – blame storm “Saturn” for it. In Annapolis we were fortunate enough to get nothing but rain and a little wind, nothing too damaging. Oh, there was an overturned semi-tractor-trailer on the Bay Bridge which shut down both spans in both directions. This is a major headache for traffic in this area and it ties up roadways for miles and hours. I’m sure a few thorns came out for people today!
I felt a bit prickly myself. It is a very busy week for me working to get class material finalized and assembled for Rosemary, helping to set up presentations and making sure I am ready to video record the whole class, working on my own practices including preparation for Qigong Instructor Certification this Saturday, and keeping up with the normal routine.
And with the storm shutting down schools and work for the anticipated snow the house was full of people today with many pulls on attention and energy. The energy, in fact, swirled at times beyond the normal boundaries and out of control. My Qi was disturbed.
I am working hard to keep my calm, to smooth out my Qi, to remain in flow and let go of all the little things that can too often ruffle my feathers. And yet my thorns came out! In some sense these thorns were for protection, not necessarily of my beautiful inner rose, but of my time, my priorities, my space, my practice, my, my, my…
But is this why the rose has thorns, to hide her flower. I don’t think so. The rose displays her beauty for all to see. Her light shines on everyone. She opens her softness to reveal that light and inner beauty. All she asks in return is a small amount of space. Her thorns protect that space. Yes, they are sharp but they only stick in a little bit, only as a warning not to come any closer.
Too often my thorns stab too deep. I only need a little space and too often create cold distance. I need time to breathe but don’t want to breathe alone. I struggle with balance here between protection and open sharing of my light.
The advice I hear is to “be the Rose that you are and shed the thorns.” I am working on this, working on the openness. Is it always safe to do this?
Wednesday evening Rosemary and I were part of a Spiritual Exploration Group. It is a group that comes together by invitation to share deeply. It is a safe place; and many of us share very deeply about personal experiences. Everything shared stays in the room. It is easy to shed my thorns in this group. I have no fear of my space there. Can I take this feeling of safety into the outer world and share my light? Can I shed all my defenses and open my lamp-shade to let out the light?
It is time. We have moved beyond 2012 and well into the 21st Century. It is time for all of us to come into our true selves, to shine our light and to be open to the flow of the Universe. It begins inside, where the light originates. We first let go of the thorns that prick us from the inside; some call them our “demons.” Egos have thorns that keep us in line! These are good for survival, just as the rose uses her thorns to protect her space for survival. But maybe we need to move beyond basic survival needs and into the light.
We cannot transform the world with thorns. We can work toward a better world through open acceptance of our light and to shine that light through fulfilling our purpose, what Rosemary calls our “soul commitment.”
Maybe that commitment needs to be stronger than our need for protection!
MONDAY’S POEM: Beyond Flatland
Yesterday was our monthly ACT (A Community of Transformation) meeting; this month there was a great talk: The Myth of Science, Trusting YOUR Intuition to Assist in YOUR Transformation by Kim Watson. The essence of the presentation was that science can use data to prove just about anything depending on the starting assumptions that are made, those pesky underlying beliefs.
Kim’s talk reminded me of a poem I had written riffing off the great story, Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions by Edwin Abbott Abbott. Here for your entertainment is that poem:
Beyond Flatland
The 2-Ds find it
Impossible to look
Up.
The wall of their
Existence is a nano
High.
The 3-Ds can climb
Rising up to the
Heights.
The sky of their
World is light-years
Far.
The 4-Ds can bend
Time with their mind’s
Eye.
The clock of their
Vision has no
Hands.
And what of the 5-Ds?
Do they have limits?
One.
Whatever it is that
Keeps them from knowing
Six.
©2013 Richard W. Bredeson. All rights reserved.
Men and The Goddess 