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Brain Science, Storytelling, and YOU! – Richard’s Commentary
I have a recent story to tell and I hope I only have to tell it once! As always it is a question of learning the lessons. Here’s the story:
About a week ago I started running a fever. I had no real symptoms other than the severe body aches and pains that often accompany a fever. As this one developed not only did the aches and pains get worse but the fever turned into significant shakes and sweats over a three-day and night period. I had not experienced this kind of illness since I came down with malaria in Africa more than 40 years ago – it was that bad!
The fever was at its worst right at the New Moon/Solar eclipse last Thursday evening. I went to the doc Friday afternoon about the time I started to feel just a bit better. Lots of causes, thankfully, have been eliminated. And now I am much better, finishing a course of antibiotics even though I suspect it was viral. But much more important than the medical report or even my symptoms and treatment are the lessons and symbols represented by this fever and my experience of it.
I have been processing this experience, this story since I was well enough to meditate and write about it. And my old friends, QRS (remember my “floating heads”?) have helped me with some interpretation. Here’s the real story of my serious fever:
What is the message from my unconscious mind via my body?
QRS: Your body heated up to burn out some impurities. The shakes were because you are not using the “shaking technique” from Jeff Primack (this is a Qi-generating approach by shaking the whole body for a period of time; we did it for 12 minutes at the Qi-Revolution weekend!). Do it for five minutes every day. It will help. The sweats were to purge impurities through your largest organ – your skin. Shower to cleanse away the toxins. Heat, fire is from the heart. You are heart-broken for multiple reasons. The fever was a reminder of the fire and passion of your heart and that you need to attend and mend the brokenness before you can do any real work of consequence. The fire was a tempering and a mending process. You will emerge from this stronger if you take these words “to heart”! The weakness was to get you to rest. You have to be quiet to mend. Your quiet time has helped. The aches and pains were your body knocking at your door to let you know it needs your care. Yes, Qigong has been good. But keep it up. Don’t let your body turn to brittle old bones!
Your mind has been in a fog. This was a reminder to not slip away into a fog like your dad did! Awaken! And stay awake.
You think you have been working hard on yourself. Don’t mistake effort for accomplishment. Working hard is only part of it. Achieving is necessary. Awaken! It is time to break out. Move beyond the chrysalis stage and emerge, fly. You have so much to do, but time is not infinite. Deaths of your friends are to remind you of this. Their time ran out; mission accomplished. Yes, you have your purpose, your mission, but you only have the rest of your life to fulfill it. Don’t let us down. Wake up!
This explanation of my story has helped me realize the fever had its purpose. And I have my lesson to take to heart. As I wrote this I also recalled the Buddhist prayer, or Evening Gatha, we recited at Zen Mountain Monastery when I spent some time there:
Let me respectfully remind you,
Life and death are of supreme importance.
Time swiftly passes by and opportunity is lost.
Each of us should strive to awaken. . .
. . . awaken,
Take heed. Do not squander your life.
Do not squander your life…
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Brain Science, Storytelling, and YOU!
Recent studies of the science of the brain are showing us that we can create new neural pathways by thinking new thoughts. And the more we think those new thoughts, the stronger those pathways grow. By the same token, old pathways can break down with misuse or get rewired.
Wow! That means you can give yourself a new brain by thinking new thoughts! As The Scientific Mystic, I think this is cool science!
Of course, if you reinforce old thoughts, old patterns, you strengthen those pathways. Hmmmmm… That means that if we keep telling the same old stories, thinking the same old thoughts, we dig ourselves into deeper trenches in our brain that make coming out of those trenches more difficult than they need to be.
This is bad enough when we keep retelling our own stories. Do you know some people who seem to be stuck in their victimhood because they keep re-telling their story and they never change the ending to claim their power now? It’s as if they are magically drawn to the past and they somehow get stuck there. We do that to ourselves unconsciously, too. We hold onto grudges because we keep reliving that past hurt or anger or upset and we reinforce the patterns of old.
We don’t need to keep doing that, however. Many survivors of horrendous abuse can tell you that, although it is extremely difficult work, therapy has helped them to move on from their victimhood. In my coaching practice I can see amazing progress in the clients who work to shift their stories into being the empowered hero of their own lives. As a matter of fact, I don’t work with clients who are unwilling to write a new story because we have so many tools to facilitate the shift that there’s no need to stay stuck.
The most insidious stories are those that come down the family tree, or from a parent or authority figure from our childhood. These we accepted, as children, as absolute truth and haven’t brought them up to be re-examined in light of our adult understanding. They run the program of ‘Me’ at the unconscious level and we don’t even know whose story is creating our life.
The first step in becoming the hero of your life is to look at your stories. What are they? Are they true? Or do you keep re-deciding to believe something that might not be true in the present moment? You are always at choice about what to believe. This is an active process. But first you must bring your beliefs into the open so that you can decide with consciousness whether or not you want to keep believing that way.
What you thought about the world when you were 7 years old just might not be true for you at 37 or 57 or 77. Maybe it’s time to re-decide?
How exciting that brain science in the 21st Century is helping us to shift! We have amazing techniques available to shift our neurology by thinking new thoughts, writing new stories. We can live a conscious life by examining the thoughts we have, the stories we tell ourselves and others, the beliefs that underlie the choices we make.
I recently heard Candace Pert, PhD, a molecular biologist, speak about science and spirituality. She wrote the book, Molecules of Emotion: The Science Behind Mind-Body Medicine. I love what she said about the Brain: “The Brain works by making up stories. People sometimes rent out space in their brains to people who have been dead for years by telling and clinging to old stories.”
Make sure YOU are the one who decides which stories to tell and which ones to evict!
PS: Here is a fun way to find out who might be renting space in your brain: join Rosemary for a Conversation with The Other Side. Next Monday, May 20, at 7:00 pm she is offering an online Conversation where you can talk to anyone from your past who has crossed over whose story you may be holding on to. Get more information and registration details at TheScientificMystic.com
Are You Ready? – Richard’s Commentary
Rosemary’s opening to her MuseLetter article this week was certainly provocative:
Did you think you could relax because you made it through December 21, 2012? Think again!
The Shift has begun. Time has been speeding up for years and we’re moving ahead at an amazing pace. It’s time to grow, to transform, to evolve. Hold onto your hat!
Yes, the time is now. And I can certainly feel the urgency of the moment. I have been impacted a lot this week as we are in this very old moon energy in Taurus. My body hurts, my mind isn’t functioning at peak performance and my emotions tend to rule my tongue more often than I’d like! Is it just this old moon, impending new moon and solar eclipse coming our way that has me in such a state? And what can I do to “be ready”?
Then we came across this from one of our astrologer friends; we have trusted Steve Nelson’s readings for us and his deep writing for years! Here’s what Steve says about this time in May:
Karma is fate, dharma is destiny. Karma is in the body as chronic muscle tension that holds encoded past emotional memory. Dharma is our divine purpose to be revealed and realized as karma is let go. Past world patterning or karma can be released through exercise (especially yoga), deep breathing and ritual celebration. Collective karma, the shadow of the age, is up for clearing now. As we clear personal karma we clear world karma. Karma is cleared cosmically by New Moons and by eclipses of the Sun and Moon.
…
A solar eclipse is Mother Nature’s most powerful instrument for transformation. When an eclipse occurs above, things get eclipsed and are transformed here below. Whatever needs eclipsing comes up in the days/weeks before a solar eclipse. An eclipse is an opportunity to eliminate patterns of thought and behavior that trouble our world. This is an ideal time to clear away what stands in the way of dreams being realized. The May 9/10 solar eclipse is the subject of another prophecy by Nostradamus in Century 9 Quatrain 83: ”Sun twentieth of Taurus, the Earth will tremble mightily; It will ruin the great theater filled: And so darken and trouble air, sky and land, the unbeliever will call upon God and the saints.”
The May 9/10 solar eclipse in the 20th degree of Taurus may bring a great earthquake as Nostradamus predicted. We’re advised to stay away from crowded theaters on this day. Our old world patterns are broken one way or another; we can hope and pray for the kinder gentler way.
It sounds to me that all the energy I’m feeling is definitely part of this New Moon/Solar Eclipse energy. It may be a doozy. I’ll definitely “hold on to my hat”!
But what does this mean; how do we prepare and “be ready” for major events that may occur? Steve Nelson recommends ritual work. Ritual is a wonderful way to heighten our awareness and bring consciousness and intention to our plans and actions.
And Steve mentions yoga and deep breathing – no surprise here! As you know from my previous posts I am all about yoga, qigong and breath-work!
I am doing everything in my power to be ready for this New Moon/Eclipse this evening (it occurs here on the east coast at 8:29 pm). Here’s what Rosemary has said about it:
This Solar Eclipse ends a cycle and begins a new one. Look back at what was happening in your life on May 10, 1994 for some clues about your personal evolution. We are being invited to release the past, clear negative thought patterns and whatever else might be holding us back from expanded consciousness and evolution. According to The Mountain Astrologer magazine, Eclipses also affect cellular memory, facilitating our awakening and remembrance of our soul’s blueprint.
Karma and dharma: release the past and awaken to your soul’s blueprint!
With Steve I wish you a “kinder and gentler” experience of this powerful energy. May you use it for growth!
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Are You Ready?
Did you think you could relax because you made it through December 21, 2012? Think again!
The Shift has begun. Time has been speeding up for years and we’re moving ahead at an amazing pace. It’s time to grow, to transform, to evolve. Hold onto your hat!
Sometimes we think about ‘readiness’ as preparing for all the disasters that are possible in the days ahead. My little sister works for the Red Cross and has a masters degree in Disaster Management. She knows about preparing for and dealing with disasters. But are we really preparing for disasters or for greater, more abundant and spectacular Life? Let’s get ready for that and leave the disasters to the Red Cross.
Get ready for the Doors of Opportunity to be opened to you, for they are present in every moment if you just look for them. Your work is to be ready to walk through that open door. Here’s how to get ready.
First, learn to focus your attention in this Present Moment NOW. Are you worried about something that might happen in the future? That possible disaster? Or even that fantasy of something out there at ‘someday’? Bring your attention and, thus, your energy, into this Present Moment, for this is where you live and from whence comes all manifestation.
Next, live your Purpose. Have you learned what your Life Purpose is? Do you know why your Soul chose to incarnate in your particular body with your particular history at this particular moment? Discover your Purpose and live it with Passion. There’s no time now to waste waiting for ‘someday’ to arrive so you can finally live your Purpose. Someday has arrived and you are looking at it now – today.
The third step is to assess your Present Reality. What thoughts are winning your attention and are they negative or supportive of your growth? Are there limiting beliefs at work in your life that are blocking you from happiness and growth? Have you done the personal development work that clears the blocks from your path and are you sure that you are not living out someone else’s expectations for you? Do you have some old tapes playing in your unconscious mind that belong in the past or to someone else? Are you being honest with yourself about who you really are? Have you disowned your power?
The Doors of Opportunity are opening for you. You can see them when you look around you in wonder and awe at the magnificent, abundant Universe that gives to you in ways that are much grander than anything you can imagine. When you search for the lesson in whatever is your present reality you receive the gift that is available to you. Walk through the Doorway and into the Light.
Our friend was in a serious car accident shortly after the actor, Christopher Reeve, had his accident that left him paralyzed. Her injury was similar to Reeve’s but she recovered fully. As she claimed, she was ‘ready for anything and all prayed up!’ She didn’t rail against the Universe for putting her in that situation and she can use that story to help others in their personal development because she looked for the lesson and walked through a Doorway of Opportunity.
Do you know anyone who says that some event in their life that we might judge to be ‘tragic,’ like illness or job loss or financial problems or natural disaster, turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to them? Not everyone can say that about everything that happens, but when you view the event as a gift that holds a Doorway of Opportunity, you want to be ready to walk through that door!
Remember:
- Present Moment
- Purpose & Passion
- Present Reality
Get ready! Do the personal work. And when you see the open door, walk through it!
PS: Do you feel ready for the coming transformations? Are you in the flow and ready for that next opportunity coming your way? If you need answers for questions like “what is my next step?” Rosemary can help. Schedule a FREE Discovery Session with her to be sure you are ready! Schedule Here
What Is Your Spiritual Practice? –Richard’s Commentary
We just got back from our local Spiritual Exploration Group here in Maryland. This is a monthly meeting of like-minded folks who we bring together to discuss spiritual topics of many colors. Our mantra is we get together for Discussion, not Dogma.
Tonight’s topic was Prayer. And we explored the many dimensions of what this means for people both as a word and as a practice. We began with our childhood remembrances of what prayer meant to us and our experience of prayer. We considered the Wikipedia definition:
Prayer is an invocation or act that seeks to activate a rapport with a deity, an object of worship, or a spiritual entity through deliberate communication.
And we discussed where we are now with prayer as a way of “connecting” to something greater than ourselves but that we find inside ourselves. We spoke of prayer as a way of generating and offering our energy for positive connection and transformation, or “lifting to a higher vibrational frequency.”
We even discussed the possible existence of “dark prayer” – negatively focused energy to counter the evolutionary path of human consciousness; and we wondered if prayer can be judged in this way if it is truly a “deliberate communication with a deity”! Is a negative prayer even a true prayer?
I bring this up because prayer is certainly a spiritual practice. For me the word sometimes has a negative impact because it is overloaded with memories of childhood when reciting the “Lord’s Prayer” seemed so rote and lifeless. As a young child required to memorize the prayer I wasn’t even clear on the meanings of the words.
Then it hit me! I, with 46-thousand of my closest friends, am tuning into Deva Premal & Miten every day to chant ancient verses from Holy Scriptures. They are offering a 21-Day Mantra Meditation Journey that began April 23. Today is Day-10. (You can sign up for this free daily practice here: Deva & Premal. And you can catch up because all of the chants they have shared so far are still posted.
So, I sit, eyes closed, each morning in a very open and loving state to chant, often Sanskrit, words I am not familiar with, over and over in a “rote-like” way. How is this so different from my childhood experience of reciting the Lord’s Prayer in a rote-like way?
OK, here’s the thing about that: I am in an altered state when I chant “Om Shanti Om” 108 times. I move into that state of true inner peace invoked by this mantra. I remember where my mind was when I “prayed” the Lord’s prayer as a kid – anywhere but on “Our Father”! I wasn’t seeking to develop “rapport” with “Him”; but with these mantras I am seeking to develop a rapport with the energies invoked by their vibrations, their words composed of sacred syllables, the transcendent quality of the constructs and how they sound when chanted, whispered, or just thought and felt as they vibrate through my being.
One of my Spiritual Practices is to chant. I have learned a number of chants from different traditions using languages from Sanskrit to Navaho. I have been ritually initiated into several. And they all transport me to another “place” where I can transcend this physical dimension of time, space and my body and commune with Spirit. And for me this is the best form of prayer to which I can aspire.
If you are at all interested in chanting and mantra meditation as a form of prayer I invite you with all my good wishes to tune in to Deva Premal & Miten. Here’s the link again:
21-Day Mantra Meditation Journey
All blessings!
Will the REAL YOU please stand up? – Richard’s Commentary
I don’t know about you but I was really struck by this message from The Divine Feminine posted yesterday! And I realize part of this message’s impact is the “memory” it hits. I think anyone reading this post knows the truth of this message about themselves! We are all here, now, in this time for a very specific purpose. We are here to be part of an enormous transformation. And it is time for the REAL Us to stand up! Here are the specific instructions from The Divine Feminine:
Expand your Consciousness to embrace the biggest version of YOU that you can imagine and then allow that to continue to expand. The Universe sees YOU as large as you REALLY are. Dissolve the limitations that you have put on yourself and BE THE BIGGER VISION OF YOU.
What does this mean? I have a perfect example of a couple of people doing this very thing. You may or may not know of Deva Premal & Miten, two artists who have made chanting mantras, both in Sanskrit and from other cultures in other languages, not only beautiful art but moving, spiritual experiences. Rosemary and I have all of their albums and listen to them regularly. We have attended their live performances and have been truly inspired. Here’s what they are now doing to embrace their biggest vision: they are offering a completely free 21-Day Mantra Meditation Journey over the internet. It just began on April 23rd and it is fantastic. What a wonderful way to start the day, with 15 minutes of these beautiful human beings introducing and then chanting a new mantra. Deva and Miten have stepped up to a higher level of offering Divine Chanting for the world!
You can still join us in on this journey; sign up here: Deva & Miten
We are all called to Stand Up! The Divine Feminine requests this and Deva Premal & Miten demonstrate a perfect example of what it means and how to do it.
It begins with an expanded consciousness; it begins with a “bigger vision of you.” We all have dreams, wishes, desires. Are these true visions of who we are and what we can be or are these fantasies of the “if only” category? Visions are dreams that can be actualized. They require motivation, planning, resources, scheduling and action. The Divine Feminine are not calling us to dream, they are calling us to Vision and Action. They are asking us to Stand Up!
What is my vision? I have outlined my first Qigong class! I plan to teach a 10-week program beginning in May. I have a marketing flier completed, class syllabus ready to go, sign-up/release form to print and a few ideas for marketing the class to local groups here in Maryland. I am excited not only to be doing this but with the notion that I am moving in a new direction and beginning to “stand up.” OK, a Qigong Class may not sound like a big leap, but it is a step.
And Rosemary and I are moving forward with other plans to expand programs and offer more to our local groups, followers and clients here in the Maryland area. We are also continuing to develop our online plans to bring what we offer to a wider, global audience. Rosemary’s voice already reaches around the world with her services to select international clients. She too, as the “Voice of The Divine Feminine” is stepping up and moving into a much bigger Vision of her Service to Humanity.
It really is time for all of us to Stand Up, to live into that greater vision we all sense about ourselves and the Universe knows about us!
Are you ready to Stand Up?
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: Will the REAL YOU please stand up?
This week’s article is a message from The Divine Feminine:
Dear Ones,
Your work now is to be fully YOU. Who are you? Independent of your roles, your relationships, your duties and obligations. Who are you when no one is looking? Who are you in your dreams and fantasies?
What do you wish you could say? Say it.
What do you wish you could do? Do it.
Who do you want to be? Be that person.
There is nothing stopping you except you.
Who is limiting you? Only your beliefs and thoughts about you hold you back.
What is your relationship with money? If money seems to be a limiting factor in your life then you have cut off the flow of money to you and through you by defining a limiting belief about HOW money operates.
If, for example, you say, “I would like to travel but I don’t have the money,” then you are defining how you cannot travel and you are correct. If, however, you say to the Universe, “I would like to travel to ________ and I am grateful and eager to see how you will provide that trip,” then you allow the Universe many options for making that happen.
If you believe that you cannot make the money you need then you are only looking at a particular method of receiving money and, again, you limit the ways in which the Universe can bring money to you.
Be grateful. Be curious. Be open.
Be yourself.
Who must you BE to receive the money you desire
Be the powerful manifestor that you already are. Be in the flow of your Life Purpose. Be constantly grateful for the reality that is your Life, for the lessons you are learning, for the people who are helping you to learn those lessons. Be in touch with your Inner Child who is trying to feel safe, happy, protected and playful. Be creative, for you may have forgotten how to play and create. Be joyful, for Joy is a powerful magnet to attract more Joy into your Life.
Be who you are behind the limiting beliefs you have created about yourself. Stop defining yourself by the money you do or do not have. Stop confining yourself to what you used to believe and think.
Leap forward into possibilities that hold the most Joy for you.
You are there. You are here. You are the Light of the World. You are the Delight of the Universe.
Expand your Consciousness to embrace the biggest version of YOU that you can imagine and then allow that to continue to expand. The Universe sees YOU as large as you REALLY are. Dissolve the limitations that you have put on yourself and BE THE BIGGER VISION OF YOU.
And so it it.
Rosemary’s Comments:
I don’t know about you but I need the reminder to stop playing small. It seems much easier to focus on what seems do-able then to stretch into the bigger visions. Take a leap of faith! Reach for something that really scares you! Trust the Universe to support your bigger visions.
And I have learned that it is important to ask for help.
We asked the Universe for a house to rent and our friend asked for someone to rent her house. Voila! We move in August. It happens just that way when you trust.
PS: The final week of the Spring Book Special: Get Your Woman On! Embracing Beauty, Grace and the Power of Women – The Amazon Best Selling book that Rosemary co-authored with some amazing women – is available this April at a very special price – $12 with free shipping in the US and some great bonuses! This would be an inspirational gift for Mother’s Day for a woman who would like to read 39 stories of transformation. Here’s how to get your copy: Book Sale
The Story is Not the Person! – Richard’s Commentary-Part 2
“The story is not the person.” But the person is part of the human story, as I wrote in my post yesterday. There is so much to Rosemary’s article posted Wednesday that I wanted to come at it from another angle.
She wrote of boundaries that people have that must be respected. We have them to protect our inner vulnerabilities. We all have these soft spots that can cause us great harm if exposed (at least that’s what we believe). But these boundaries can also become barriers to growth, to expansion, to the evolution of human consciousness I wrote about yesterday. There is a balance needed here that I want to explore today.
Rosemary writes: “Each of us has a responsibility to ourselves and to others to learn how to live in community with the people around us. We are not private islands with ‘No Trespassing’ signs on our foreheads! The most important lesson to learn about living in a civilized society is to learn what healthy boundaries are. Learn what to let in and what belongs to the other person.”
The question this begs is what are these healthy boundaries? Until we gain the answer here we may be hiding behind unhealthy boundaries (barriers) and blocking our own growth.
We all have secrets. We are human, we grow up in human families with foibles, stresses and all the baggage of generations of growing up in human families. Some secrets like those from our youth don’t necessarily need to see the light of day. If they served their purpose in teaching us then they can remain hidden; no harm done.
But if we have not yet learned the lessons from these secrets then perhaps they do need to be aired, to see the light. This is particularly true if the secrets, the unlearned lessons, are blocking our growth in some way.
Another form of boundary is the façade we erect to pretend we are someone other than the person we know on the inside. This is our persona; and we all have them. In fact we likely have several of them we “wear” in different situations. And this too is OK. We don’t necessarily want to expose the “real” person behind the persona in every social situation.
But if we always hide behind a persona in every situation we may be hiding something even from ourselves that needs to be examined. Our persona may form a barrier to our own true story that we need to understand. That story is the base for our expansion, growth, evolution.
The healthy boundary comes from a balance between over-exposure and hiding, between blurting out old, irrelevant information and withholding information that might help us better understand ourselves and others. With healthy boundaries in place we can move easily in society, learn as we interact with others and grow beyond those boundaries.
As Rosemary concludes: “Own your story but do not be governed by it. Be conscious of your responsibility to continue to grow. Help others to grow by allowing them to have their own stories while keeping healthy boundaries for yourself.”
Do you “own your story”? Does it set up healthy boundaries or barriers to your growth? The place to begin to answer these questions is to write your story down. It may have some lessons, some hidden gems that need to be mined!
The Story is Not the Person! – Richard’s Commentary
“The story is not the person.” And often the story is not the story, at least not the whole story. I think that is one of Rosemary’s points.
I had the great privilege over a number of years to “sit at the feet” of Robert Bly. One of his “lessons” was to examine a story or poem on at least three levels: the concrete, the psychological and the mythical. And even then large swaths of a story can be glossed over or missed entirely.
At the concrete level, the story is never the person. You can’t know much at all from this level. It is superficial at best. To use a well worn cliché it’s like judging a story-book by its cover. I am a great fan of science fiction; I can never guess what a book is about from looking at the typically lurid cover! These days you certainly can’t judge anything from clothes. Styles are all over the map and casual is becoming formal in many venues! For those who are well trained and experienced in sensory acuity there are deeper layers to the concrete level that can be observed. Milton Erickson pioneered the use of body language in his hypnotherapy work and could utilize a subtle movement, twitch or flush to take a patient into deeper trance. And this brings us to the psychological level of the story.
Rosemary’s point that “the story is not the person” is much about this psychological level, the back-story, the underlying elements to a person that are buried behind the external persona. Sometimes this deeper part of the story is hidden even from one’s self. Our layers of beliefs for example are not necessarily something we dwell on to determine our current motivations or reactions to situations. It is this psychological level that gets protected, especially the shadow components of our makeup…and we all have them. Our boundaries protect this area and need that respect Rosemary urges us to observe.
And it is this level that we need to take into consideration when interacting with people. We all have our psychological stories. Some we can feel free and even good about sharing. Some remain hidden, protected behind our walls of privacy. The point here is to realize every one of our encounters with a person involves a hidden layer that needs our understanding and respect. We have our boundaries and they have theirs; let the unrevealed layers be a part of the mystery of the encounter.
It is at the mythic layer to the story where we can have some fun. And I don’t mean to make fun but to be inventive, creative in our approach to interacting with others. At some level we humans are all archetypes; we embody all the mythical gods and goddesses, the legendary figures from history, the stories of golden ages with mythic heroes and heroines from pre-history. Bly’s approach to analyze a poem or a story at the mythic level is to look for the archetypal, the over-arching theme that holds deeper meaning beyond the superficial and even the mental levels; the god-like meanings that underpin the entire arch of the story. And we can apply this approach to our encounter with others. Ask, what part of the greater mythology of human existence is this person playing, in his life, in my life, in the greater context of human evolution!
That’s right! Every one of us is playing a role, our personally designed role, in the expanding story of human evolution, the evolution of consciousness! This is exciting, scary, sobering, even mind-boggling. And it’s true.
So, next time when you meet someone, a friend, an acquaintance, even a stranger, ask yourself what role that someone is playing in the unfolding mythology of humanity!
ROSEMARY’S EXPLORATION: The Story is Not the Person!
Everyone around you has a story and you have only heard the part of the story that they want you to hear. Everyone has a part of themselves that is hidden away, being protected, staying safe by not being revealed. Behavior is not the story. Behavior is often the cover-up for the story.
When you understand this about the people around you it is easier to be gentle with those folks. What if that person just lost a loved one and doesn’t feel comfortable sharing that with you? What if that person was so horribly abused as a child that they cannot bear to be hugged by anyone because it re-traumatizes them? What if that person just got off the phone from a very disturbing conversation and they are in the middle of processing the information when you try to talk to them?
There is an endless list of possibilities for what is going on in another person’s life and most items on that list have nothing to do with you. Do you keep this in mind when you interact with other people? Can you be sympathetic to the part of the story that they are protecting from exposure and give them the benefit of the doubt?
Each of us has a responsibility to ourselves and to others to learn how to live in community with the people around us. We are not private islands with ‘No Trespassing’ signs on our foreheads! The most important lesson to learn about living in a civilized society is to learn what healthy boundaries are. Learn what to let in and what belongs to the other person.
Asking others to respect your boundaries includes allowing them to ask the same of you. Some people have very private stories behind the fence of their boundary and that is theirs to protect. By the same token, you are allowed to hold parts of yourself private from public scrutiny and anyone who doesn’t respect that boundary does not get the privilege of interacting with you.
In learning how to interact with others in a healthy way it is important that you know your own story. What motivates you? What has happened in your past that is influencing your present? What parts of you have you disowned that are lurking in your shadow bag waiting to be rediscovered and reintegrated? With whom have you had an interaction that might influence your current relationships with baggage from the past connection?
Study your story. Write it out. Do a timeline of your own life. It can be useful to do a timeline of your parents’ lives as you know them, or as they can share with you, and compare that with your own. Sometimes we can uncover hidden beliefs about ourselves by noticing what has moved onto our timeline from our parents.
Notice when you get stuck in your story instead of continuing to create it. Are you in a loop that has you repeating a part of your past story that is holding you back from growing in the present? Are you re-traumatizing yourself by repeating that story over and over again and never giving yourself a chance to open to new possibilities that allow you to release that old story?
What parts of your story are you hoping no one else will discover? Why?
Part of being on the path of personal growth is expanding your consciousness to encompass ALL of who you are. Every part of your story is important in shaping you to be the person that you are today. And this is true for everyone around you.
Own your story but do not be governed by it. Be conscious of your responsibility to continue to grow. Help others to grow by allowing them to have their own stories while keeping healthy boundaries for yourself.
And you can change your story! There are many techniques available to help you to do this. Empower yourself by taking the first step – write your story. Then the work can begin.
PS: Spring Book Special: Get Your Woman On! Embracing Beauty, Grace and the Power of Women – The Amazon Best Selling book that I co-authored with some amazing women – is available this month at a very special price – $12 with free shipping in the US and some great bonuses! This would be an inspirational gift for Mother’s Day for a woman who would like to read 39 stories of transformation. Here’s how to get your copy: Book Sale
Men and The Goddess 