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ROSEMARY’S VIDEO: The Steps to Balance
Here on the East Coast in Mayland we can certainly use “steps to balance”! As major storm, Sandy, roars through the area we are all being challenged to remain centered and resourceful. The storm combined with a full moon is really taking a toll on emotions! Breathe, remain alert, present and resourceful! And take the advice of Rosemary’s video here:
“Are You Flipping Out Over Something?” A Commentary by Richard
As I indicated last week when I posted Rosemary’s video from her MuseLetter (subscribe here) I am posting my thoughts on that video on my blog. Without further introduction, my thoughts:
I was particularly struck by the topic this week: Flip-Out. In fact I too often find myself flipping-out and almost always over very small things. Computers suddenly running slow, or even worse, crashing for unknown reasons; a lost item, like keys; a negative checking account balance when there should be plenty of cash available; a credit card that inexplicably fails to work (and this is worst if it’s a client’s charge that won’t go through!); the dog’s 2:00 am need…the list can be nearly endless! Are these life and death issues; of course not. But in our hustle-bustle lives they do add fuel to the fire of an already hot burn life-style that keeps pace with a 21st Century clock!
Is it a particularly male thing to flip-out over small things? Rosemary goes through life at a pretty calm clip; her life is just as complicated as mine. She writes and speaks this week about a “Toolbox of Resources.” Well, I’m a pretty resourceful guy; I’m on the journey with her. And yet my fuse is so much shorter. But I’m ready to learn these lessons; the 2×4 upside the head is beginning to hurt, get through to me!
I am examining my tools and resources. In the last few months I have rediscovered the Tao, the ancient Chinese philosophy known as The Way. I have read fairly extensively about Taoism, studied it as part of my seminary program, practiced off and on through authors such as Mantak Chia, studied and memorized sections of Lao-Tzu’s Taoteching, consulted the I Ching, and practiced Tai Chi. And recently I found an excellent Qigong instructor who has brought me back to this Way. And there are some significant tools and resources to be found here.
Managing my “flip-out moments” is certainly a skill I am working on. An emotion I frequently reach for in these moments is “anger” in its various forms. I can too easily flash to a white heat over some relatively small irritation. I cool quickly and then realize the exaggerated reaction as an unproductive response to the situation. And I ask myself, “why the unbalanced reaction?” And, “why the wasted energy?”
The Chinese Masters identify anger as one of the obstacles to finding The Way. In addition to wanting to reduce my expenditure of energy on a wasted emotion, I want to overcome this obstacle. And, oh by the way, mastering anger will go a long way toward improving my environment!
In the Taoist traditions negative emotions, like Anger, can be transmuted into their corresponding virtues; in the case of Anger the work is to transmute it to Creativity or Resourcefulness. Wow! What if my wasted anger energy can be channeled into creative energy? What a concept!
This is not as easy as it sounds, however. But in my mind it is clearly worth the effort; I choose creativity over anger, calm over flip-out, any day! Rosemary mentions meditation as an approach to “hit the pause button” in the midst of over-reaction (or better yet before the reaction even occurs!). Qigong is often referred to as “Meditation in Motion” and I am finding this practice is a way to pull my energy and my resources, my consciousness, into the present moment when I can be fully aware of my environment, my reaction at any given moment to the environment and to then respond appropriately. When I am very, very present I can actually catch myself on the verge of anger and quickly seek a creative response, diverting the anger into resourcefulness! I have a long way to go to catch myself every time, or even often! But it’s good work for the journey!
Guys, Rosemary has many ways to channel the flip-out mode into presence of mind. Her toolbox is filled with fun things and even some neat toys! Sometimes it may seem easier just to go with the reactive emotion of the moment; but too often the consequences of the easy route bite painfully.
Flip-out reaction or creative response? The choice is yours if you are willing to do the work!
PS: Beginning today, Monday, October 29, Rosemary is offering you a new way to add to your toolbox! She is holding a FREE half-hour call of wisdom and guidance for Conscious Living; to support you Living Your Richest Life! As Einstein said: No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. Lift your consciousness and lift yourself!
Click Here for the call-in details; it’s FREE!
ROSEMARY’S COMMENTARY: Are You Flipping Out Over Something?
As I mentioned yesterday when I posted Rosemary’s video here, I am today posting her commentary on that insightful post. And on Monday I’ll post my commentary specifically targeted to my readers here! Stay tuned…
And here’s Rosemary:
It seems today as if there is always something to ‘Flip Out’ over! What has you feeling this way today?
I sometimes hear clients longing for simpler lives or less stress or at least less drama in their lives, but they are really wishing for something to change about their circumstances without a thought to how they can change themselves.
Flipping Out happens when we don’t have enough resources in our tool box to deal with what is happening in our environment. If you can reach into your Resource Tool Box and pull out just what you need to do in this circumstance, then you just do that and there’s no need to get too excited. But how often are you perfectly prepared for exactly what is going on?
Let me say here that I am not talking about going into denial and pretending that nothing big is happening! Sticking your fingers in your ear and singing, ‘La, la, la, la!’ won’t manage the stress of the circumstances, although, I admit, sometimes that seems like an attractive behavior choice. Denial invites the Universe to keep bringing the lesson to us, over and over again, with perhaps more severity each time until we learn what we are to learn.
What tools have you been developing to prepare you for whatever might come your way? Are you on a path of constant personal growth, seeking new skills, finding new opportunities to explore ideas? Are you committed to your own personal, spiritual growth as a journey of exploration? How you answer these questions will determine how well you can handle what happens around you.
Just as an athlete doesn’t wake up one morning and decide to win a gold medal in discus throwing without training for that exact sport, so, too, must you train for the circumstances that haven’t yet come into your life.
When the doctor says, ‘There’s something of concern going on here,’ or you get the phone call that, ‘There’s been an accident,’ how will you respond?
I pray that you never hear those words but it could be something else that throws you for a loop and the resources must already be available to you or you will find it more difficult to cope.
So what are you doing today, this week, this year to expand the tools in your Resource Tool Box? Are you taking a class? Working with a coach/counselor? Reading self-help books? In a group with speakers who teach you tools? Attending seminars and conferences with content-rich programs for personal growth?
This is not an activity that can be postponed indefinitely! Now is the time to prevent Flip Out!
Learning meditation can be a great start. Breathe, hit the pause button, take a moment to collect yourself. Allow thoughts to arise but to keep flowing onward, without attaching to the thoughts. Give yourself permission to focus on your breath and to let go of thoughts and emotions that come up for you. Give yourself permission to simply BE.
Sign up for a class on a psychological or spiritual topic that intrigues you. Read a book that someone has recommended to you. Find a group of explorers that you can join to study new ideas. Work with a coach who can help you to develop the tools that are best for you.
Fill up the Resource Tool Box and you’ll be ready if and when something happens. Won’t it be nice to have the confidence of knowing that, even if you never need to use the tools, you won’t have to resort to ‘Flipping Out’?
ROSEMARY’S VIDEO: How to Avoid Flip-Out
OK, I’m coming back to this blog that I’ve been neglecting for too long. It’s time to get “regular” again. And with shifting season as we move into the dark times, the quiet times, the inner times, it’s a good time to not only reflect but to offer back what has been churning around inside.
I’ve been motivated in part by partner, Rosemary’s review and renewal of her work. She has shifted from a fairly standard weekly Ezine format, published for well over three years now, into a more active, video format. She publishes the weekly MuseLetter on Fridays (you can subscribe here). And last Friday she published a video and commentary that inspired me to get the word out to a wider audience! So, without further introduction here is Rosemary with an important message. I’ll be back tomorrow and on Monday with commentary.
Forgiveness
This is a powerful word, overloaded with layers of context from religious backgrounds, moral code, all the “shoulds” in our lives. But what does it really mean to forgive?
Here again understanding begins with inner work, the inner examination of what this word means and how it applies to us, to me. Is this something that comes to us from others who have wronged us in some way? How do we recognize it? Is it an apology? And how do we react to it? Do we shrug it off as if it didn’t happen; go on as if it didn’t?
And how do we react when we are in the wrong? What form do we want forgiveness to take when we’ve hurt someone but hope they will forgive us?
I think the only way to understand forgiveness is to see how it applies to ourselves.
A couple of days ago I dropped my favorite fountain pen. I reacted with shock, dismay and anger that this pen was ruined. This was, of course, an accident: I fumbled with papers and a notebook trying to take notes during a coaching call. I was clumsy and inattentive. The pen fell, point down of course, on the tile floor. How do I forgive myself for this negligence? I go inside to examine the feelings: heartbreak, yes, but over an object? It is repairable. Let the object go. Anger, yes, both self and outer-directed. Is it the floor’s fault? Do I blame gravity? My lack of an appropriate work-area? My clumsiness? Why do I need to find fault at all? Accidents happen. As I look back at the event today it is an opportunity to examine and apply forgiveness – self-forgiveness.
I can learn about forgiveness here by going inward, self-ward. Forgiveness here is not to dismiss the event. It happened, I am still upset by it and there are consequences to deal with. But to hold on to blame or anger seems unproductive. Holding on to the lesson seems the better approach. I can also respond with action to help prevent accidents of this type in the future: I can improve my work environment and place more attention on protecting my valuable pens. Action and awareness help assuage the hurt from the loss. But ultimately I have to return to the illusive notion of forgiveness. This thing happened; it can’t be undone and should not be forgotten. But I take the lesson and come back to the mantra: “I am always doing my best and I am continually learning and improving.” This is the rock-bottom message here. This is self-forgiveness.
We can then take this into the outer world, the world populated by others! We are all doing our best; even those who might hurt us in some way are doing their best! We may wish they were doing better! But they are where they are. We don’t have to forget the injury or pretend it didn’t happen. We do have to take some action, to let them know of the hurt caused and to learn for ourselves what there is to take from the incident so it doesn’t happen again. And, this action may be to avoid this person or situation in the future. We remember the lesson and move on, doing our best and giving them space to do their best.
Forgiveness. Somehow there is a seed of Peace here, buried in this too often misunderstood approach to relationships. Maybe we need to practice forgiveness in order to wage Peace.
Greetings from far away and yet so near!
Hello. I’ve missed you. I have been away for too long but the away time was well worth it. In early June Rosemary and I married some very good friends in DC. They live in Maryland but DC allows gay marriages and Maryland recognizes all legal marriages from other jurisdictions. I think the biggest hurdle in the whole arrangement was getting Rosemary certified to perform weddings in DC. All came off without a hitch; well, that’s not true exactly! The hitched couple is now on their honeymoon cruise!
Then last week I was in Ojo Caliente, NM mudding an adobe hall where I go to school: Bolad’s Kitchen. The great hall, we call her The Lady, was built and mudded three years ago. The entire structure, a free-standing (meaning no posts of any kind) building made entirely of mud stands about 20 feet high and is about a 40×50 foot rectangle. She has to be re-mudded every three years since she is made of all natural ingredients that weather with the passage of time. There were about a dozen of us and we put an entire coat of mud (half agregate, half adobe, a bunch of shredded straw and water) about a half inch thick around the entire hall during the week. It was hard work but a labor of love!
With all this activity I have neglected this blog. Sorry if there has been anyone out there impatiently waiting for my next post. But the marriage of friends and The Lady come first!
I will comment on this week’s Mystic Message from The Divine Feminine tomorrow. It is an excellent message that we all need to hear and consider. It’s titled “Reach for the Joy!” – you may want to read it in advance.
Meanwhile, be good to yourselves and do reach for the joy!
Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards: Maat and Isolt
Greetings on this fine Monday in Colorado: cool temperatures, bright sun and a nice breeze; it would be a sailor’s delight if we had any water! It’s also “remembrance day” (aka Memorial Day) in the US. When I was a kid growing up we also used this day to remember all of our relations who had crossed over, not just the war fallen. I still do that preferring to avoid the whole concept of celebrating war.
Rosemary and I leave for Maryland tomorrow to celebrate something very special, a wedding in DC! Since we’ll be out of town for this week, and then I’ll be in New Mexico the following week mudding the adobe hall (The Lady), the home to Bolad’s Kitchen, posts may become thin. I’ll keep Rosemary’s blog going and will at least attempt to post on Wednesdays here to comment on the Mystic Message. Divination using the Dr. Doreen Virtue Goddess Oracle Card may fall off a bit. So, these cards may be the guidance for the next couple of weeks.
Today the card I drew is Maat. But as I drew her from the deck another slipped out: Isolt. So, I retained her as well and took her emergence as part of the message and the amplifier to Maat. I did not draw a Grandmother Card today.
Maat’s message is Fairness; and she says: “This situation will be handled in a fair and just manner.” She goes on to define fairness and I really like this: “Let me suggest another definition for fairness: It’s when all parties surrender their personal agendas in favor of the greater good for the entirety of the group.” And perhaps on this Memorial Day this is a good thing to remember: for the sake of fairness we are called to surrender our personal agenda for the greater good. This doesn’t sound exactly like the current “American Way.” We have been so caught up in the rights of the individual and, especially, the rights of the corporations, that the “common good” is often completely ignored. Yet Maat would have us surrender these individual rights, these corporate rights for the sake of the group.
It used to be that corporations were granted their status and privileges by states to serve the people, the common good. And that certainly seemed fair. It’s not clear to me that corporations these days have the common interest in mind. In a perfect world the corporations would respond to their boards of directors which would respond to the stockholders who would represent the common good. How far have we come from that perfect world? And as we remember those who waged war to defend our democracy how far have we come from that democracy? Do we still have a government of, by and for the people, or do we have the best government money can buy?
Whew, sorry! Not sure where this is coming from. I guess the word “fairness” on this Memorial Day took me down a rather serious and dark rabbit hole! Let’s look at the meaning of Maat for ourselves and then take a close look at Isolt, who will soften this whole discussion – and calm me down!
“Maat is the Egyptian goddess of integrity, fairness and justice, who holds a scale that measures souls against a feather at the time of death to detect any heaviness from guilt.” writes Dr. Virtue. That is a beautiful and potent image! I would love to be able to claim that my guilt rests as lightly on my soul as a feather!
For me this week I will call on Maat to remind me to be fair; this will mean putting the common good before my own agenda. And this is in excellent congruence with this week’s Mystic Message from The Divine Feminine channeled by Rosemary. Check out the message and post titled Send the Judge on vacation and choose Compassion! I’ll comment more on this post on Wednesday, but note how this plays into “fairness,” into the message of Maat! And this takes me smoothly to Isolt.
The subtitle of the Isolt card is Undying Love, and Dr. Virtue has her say: “The love you have shared is eternal regardless of the situation.” The message of Isolt is one of healing, especially of the heart. And she calls on us to first heal the hurts inside ourselves by going to that inner space and examining the wounds, the places of grief, loss, betrayal, despair. Be patient and gentle in this process. Compassion comes from within and begins as compassion for one’s-self.
Isolt is the Celtic goddess who was caught up in a love triangle between her husband, King Mark of Corwall, and the knight, Sir Tristan. Her message is to balance all of our love relationships. “She reminds us that – regardless of the situation – our love is real, powerful, and undying.” And our love can heal all hurts.
It’s certainly an interesting time for me to draw Isolt as we prepare to travel to Maryland to visit family: daughter, son-in-law, GRANDCHILDREN, sisters, husbands, nephews, nieces; and friends. And we go to marry a beautiful couple, to join them in a bond of love. I will carry the message of Isolt in my heart on this trip and hold Love as my motivating emotion.
Fairness and Love. Maat and Isolt. They seem to go hand-in-hand. (Clearly Isolt slipped out of the deck as I drew Maat because she knew they belonged together!) How can we have fairness without love: the common good requires our love. How can we have love without fairness: compassion calls us to surrender.
Review of “The Hidden Spirituality of Men” Part 4
After my struggle with Chapter 5, “Spiritual Warriors”, of Matthew Fox’s book on Men and Spirituality, subtitled Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine, I have been cruising right along with the remainder of the book. Today I’ll review chapters 7 and 8. If you missed Part 3 you can read it here.
Chapter 7 covers the “body metaphor” and is titled: “Our Cosmic and Animal Bodies.” Up to this point Mr. Fox has covered six “metaphors” or what he also refers to as archetypes; the first five I would definitely classify as archetypes: Sky Father, The Green Man, Icarus and Daedalus, Hunter-Gatherers, and Spiritual Warriors. Beginning with the sixth chapter and certainly extending into the seventh I believe he leaves the archetypal approach and begins addressing actual men and their sexuality and physicality. Chapter six covered in Part 3 of this series is about our sexuality; it is handled very nicely by Fox but it’s not clear why this is a metaphor. And here in Chapter 7 we deal with our physical bodies; how is this a metaphor? How am I to react to my body as metaphor rather than physical presence here on Planet Earth? It would be different if he spent most of the chapter on the “Cosmic Body” but most of it is devoted to the physical.
He does a nice job describing his version of the chakra system, how it affects us and how we can work with it. Yet, while he treats this subject within a section called “Rediscovering Our Sacred Bodies” much of the discussion is on the physicality of the chakras. Carolyn Myss does a much better job of describing the sacred nature of the chakras in: Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing. I recommend her book to anyone interested in an expanded vision of the chakra system.
In a too brief final section of this chapter Fox discusses “More Than One Body.” He refers to four, the physical body, the cosmic body, the earth body and the divine body. The actual distinctions between the physical and earth bodies and the cosmic and divine bodies is never really made clear, and he uses the terms interchangeably. Here I thought he might have used the four bodies I’ve often read about and considered: the physical body, the emotional or etheric body, the mental body and the spiritual body. These are actual layers to our bodies and extend outward from the physical layer beyond and into our auras and ultimately into the cosmos, of which we are a part. There is certainly some parallel between these four and Fox’s four but I think the ones I refer to are more clear.
Chapter 8 covers the Blue Man and is titled The Blue Man. Here Mr. Fox is referring on the one hand to Swami Muktananda’s vision of the Blue Pearl who becomes a “blue man” a vision of the divine within or the Cosmic/Spirit Body. He compares Muktananda’s vision with that of Hildegard von Bingen who encountered a “man of sapphire blue.” It is clear that these two very different people in very different times encountered the very same being, the Blue Being within themselves.
Chapter 8 is an excellent extension to chapter 7 and nicely responds to my complaint that he didn’t spend enough time on the “more than one body.” It is the Blue Man to whom he appeals and the Blue Man in each of us who is called to action today. In his conclusion Fox writes:
“The Blue Man represents the expanded consciousness and the creative compassion [I really like this phrase ‘creative compassion’ – so much more appropriate than the ‘conservative compassion’ we had to deal with during the first 8 years of this millennium!] we are all capable of. He is an artist at life, recognizing beauty and justice and creating it. We are being tested in a special way today. Because of news both good and terrifying, a global consciousness arises, asking us to expand our minds and hearts. We are interconnected and interdependent in ways we have never experienced before, even as the collective impact of our human society threatens the Earth’s health. We must use our powers of creativity, which increase when consciousness increases, to engage and solve the many problems facing us at this important time in history. We must take our expanded consciousness into all our relationships. The purpose of the Blue Man is to empower our hands so that real compassion takes place, the real work of the Divine in our lives. The Blue Man helps us to overcome our fear of death and to let go of our fear-inspired frenzy. Creativity can convert anger and moral outrage into appropriate expressions of protest, so that we build and not simply tear down. Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Jesus, Michelangelo, and many other men have demonstrated the Blue Man in action.”
I have quoted this entire paragraph for a couple of reasons: one, it expresses a good summary of Fox’s call to men to embrace the spiritual, the creative, the compassionate responses in us that are so important today; this Blue Man energy vital to our survival! And, two, he makes this call without resorting to the “spiritual warrior” archetype, which he brought out in Chapter 5, and which I and others have called into question. Here he now avoids that term and all its connotations by invoking creative compassion in its stead! Yes, we CAN divert our anger, fear, outrage into positive, creative, appropriate action for good with Blue Man energy at our core!
Chapter 8 is a delight and makes it worth reading the book to this point. And Chapter 9, “Earth Father: the Fatherly Heart” is excellent. I’ll review Mr. Fox’s final two metaphors on Thursday.
Meanwhile see if you can get in touch with the Blue Man in you!
Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards: Abundantia and Grammie Freedom
Happy Monday! Since I ended last week with Oracle Cards I thought it would be good to begin this week with some new guidance. For the weekend the cards from Friday suggested rest and quiet time. And since I wasn’t feeling my best physically I did just that. In fact we canceled plans for Friday evening and Sunday afternoon so we could take it easy.
Then I got an email “astronote” from our friend, Chris Largent, who shed some “light” on what’s going on in the sky! It seems we are still being impacted by the old Mercury retrograde which left us on May 11 but is still having some influence. Here is what he offers about the rest of the month:
“Greetings, everyone!
“For those of you who noticed the overwhelm of the last ten days or so, it’s clear that this is one retrograde shadow that is almost like the retrograde itself! As planets move into Gemini now, collective consciousness should feel lighter – and so will demands and tensions. So, I hope we all get plenty of rest and prepare for a lighter time.
“The good news is:
(1) the retrograde shadow ends just before Memorial Day (and is fading everyday between now and then),
(2) aspects symbolizing enthusiasm, optimism, and sudden opportunities and insights come into play the end of this month through the summer, and
(3) most of us have trained for these times on some other level of consciousness, according to various elders – so we can make the best of our struggles (and we all hope that this is true!).
“One cautionary note (and what would astronotes be in this era without at least one of these annoying things): there may be sudden releases of energy at the end of the month, coinciding with Memorial Day weekend, so in addition to my usual ‘please drive carefully’ note, I will add ‘please drive VERY carefully and deliberately and keep an eye on others on the road.’
“I hope you have a productive week and a great holiday weekend!
Chris”
Note that you can subscribe to Astronotes and contact Chris through the following email address:
ideahse@aol.com
And now to the cards for the week:
As you might guess Abundantia brings Prosperity. She says: “The universe is pouring its abundance out to you. Be open to receiving.” I like this card! But I do take careful note of the “receiving” part of the message. And to receive we have to recognize, be open, listen, watch, wait, and then, accept. Dr. Doreen Virtue goes on to have Abundantia say: “I’ve heard your prayers, worries, and affirmations…expect unforseen windfalls and gifts. Notice the new ideas, feelings, and visions within you. This guidance gives you clear direction about actions to take in conjunction with my assistance. Together, we’re unstoppable!”
This is a powerful message for any week; and I also notice the Moon is filling waxing to fullness on Thursday. This is an expansive period; I also take note of point (2) by Chris as we move into this expansive period of “enthusiasm, optimism, and sudden opportunities and insights.” These will be coming from Abundantia; watch and wait and listen for them. The ideas, feelings, insights, visions are all inside; bring them out. It might be a very good time to meditate and journal. Watch your dreams as well and ponder the messages coming from your unconscious mind.
And Abundantia’s message this week is reinforced by Grandmother Card, Grammie Freedom who is the “Guide of Promise” for the whole deck of Grandmothers! I’ve scanned in her image today because she is so beautiful and full of promise from so many directions and sources. Here is her message:
“You heard the voices calling from very far,
You heard the voices calling from distant star.
You heard the voices calling…
“You came as Freedom Child.
You sang your song,
You wrote your story,
You saw your vision,
You built your shield,
You made your dolls,
You became your dream,
“‘You are the patchquilt of your heart. You are the heart and spark of our Grandmothers.’
“Namasté” And thank you Megan Garcia, for your beautiful images and Grandmother messages!
Call and response. We call and the Universe answers with abundance. When the Universe calls it is up to us to respond in kind!
Blessings for an awesome week!
Men and The Goddess 